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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
Were you able to read the TBKTS book? @Phoenix_Rising I don't know much at all about DBT, but interested to learn more. 😊 If I'm struggling with a book, I just read little bits of it. 😊
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member I am still reading TBKTS but I started in the middle of the book, where it gets to the how-to-fix-it bit. I have read the whole book previously though, quite a while ago. In the few minutes since your last post, I was reflecting on the thought that perhaps in a way it's my aspieness that makes me super enjoy reading this sort of stuff, rather than getting triggered by it. Or maybe it's because of all the stuff I needed to read as part of getting through my psychology degree. I don't know...but I tend to find this sort of thing super validating rather than triggering. My biggest issue with reading is that my concentration is so poor. Thus it takes me a looooooong time. That's why marking the assignments is such a challenge. I get paid on the premise that each assignment will take twenty minutes, and in fact each one takes about two hours. Thus it isn't a great money-spinner, but I am hoping that I will get quicker with practice.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi PR, hope you've had a good day. This little neurotransmitter has just had a shower. First one in a couple of days. Do feel a bit better because of it. 😊
In response to: I'm in a nest
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Just swinging past very quickly on my way to bed after a long but good day to say hi and goodnight to @Former-Member, @Phoenix_Rising, @Former-Member, @Teej, @Mazarita, @Pepsimax and all. My notifications have played up a bit today, and now I have a moment all my eyes want to do is close so I'll let them.
Goodnight all. Hope everyone sleeps ok
😴😴😴
💗
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
That's what I mostly do with certain books, @Phoenix_Rising go straight to the, how to fix it part. It's great that you are able to do marking. Slow is fine. 👍🐢 you "get there" eventually.
Nighty night @CheerBear😴💜
Hi @Former-Member@Teej and anyone else that's around. 👋💜💕🌹🌼
Oh and @Faith-and-Hope I see too. 👀👋💜💕🌹🌼
@Mazarita👋💟
Sorry if I've missed anyone.
I'm going to try and sleep soon. Hoping 😊
In response to: I'm in a nest
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
😘💕@Former-Member .....
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hopefully I'm just in time to say nightie night to you, @CheerBear, @Former-Member, and everyone. ox
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Miss chatting to you @Faith-and-Hope💕 I will just have to be brave and venture out on other threads. 😮😂 eventually. 🌹🌼🍵
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Nighty night @Mazarita😴💟 Sleep well. 😊
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi there @The Vorticon 👋😊 I see you too 👀😀 Nice to meet you.
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