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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sorry @Former-Member @Former-Member @CheerBear. My iPad died and then my dog who missed his walk today because of his spooky la la mum decided I owed him squeaky toy playtime. It means me wearing his wet slobbery squeaky toy for most of the time. 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:. Glad you feel a bit better @Former-Member. thank you all for cheering me up a bit too. Goodnight and sweet dreams all 💜🤗💐😴😴😴😴😴

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

That's ok.
I'm feeling pretty quiet here anyway.
Night night @Teej 😴💜💕



In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Has been sitting in the library section of the nest watching Alien all day. No productivity from ANY of my neurotransmitters today!

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Must need chocolate dipped sour worms then @Former-Member. I'm storm tracking which is not helping me clean my very messy house. 💜🤗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Is everyone ok? 💜💟💗

I've been reluctant to say anything, because I've been so down today.
I'm guessing you're all feeling similar.
Have been trying to do things to distract, but that hasn't helped.
Made beef stroganoff and pumpkin scones. Quite yummy.
Haven't been anywhere today.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Former-Member,

I'm sorry to hear you have had a down day. It's totally ok to talk about having a down day, you know.

I've actually had a pretty nice day. I had to do something across the other side of Sydney and this put me near the ocean so I spent a lovely couple of hours there. When I got home I fell asleep for a while, and then I managed to mark another one of the assignments I'm marking. Um...then I played my violin, had dinner, and now I am here.

@CheerBear I bet you have started reading the book haven't you. I am super frustrated that mine hasn't arrived yet. I super hope it comes on Monday.

I hope you had a fun day with the LF today @CheerBear.

Hi @Teej and @Former-Member. I hope today has been a brighter day for you.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Oh, that's so nice to hear that you've had a good day. @Phoenix_Rising 👍💚🐢
Good you had a sleep in between too.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I will look for a DBT book when I go to the library next. @Phoenix_Rising @CheerBear 👍

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I couldn't read any more of that ptsd book. It was so triggering. I have another ptsd book, slowly reading parts of it, called, Heal your ptsd. @CheerBear @Phoenix_Rising 😊

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member I think a few people struggled with TBKTS. That's ok. It isn't a "never" thing, just a not-right-now thing. I think we will be taking the DBT skills manual super slowly. And if it turns out that we have to put that in the not-right-now box, that will be ok too.

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