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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hey @Former-Member. It was really good this morning thanks. The school is incredibly understanding and supportive.

How has your day been?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

That's good @CheerBear
Nice that something went well.

Hmm! I wasn't going to whinge today, but you can guess. 😊
Lying down resting as much as possible.
🌹🌼🌹

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I've spent the last couple of hours on the lounge resting too @Former-Member. I feel sick and came home from group a bit earlier because I was really achey. Hope the rest helps us both 💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Oh no! Yes, rest as much as possible @CheerBear 💕
I'm trying not to feel lazy.
Have my snuggle gown over clothes. House has been freezing all day.
Not sure why I didn't put the fire on. I guess because it usually warms up.

Time to get moving and hang washing etc

I hope the aches go soon.
🍵

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I ahould get moving and so some house stuff too @Former-Member, but I'm pretty firmly planted under my snuggle gown and fluffy blanket at the moment. Maybe it isn't the end of the actual world for me to miss the dishes today and do them tonight instead.

Good luck with your jobs around the place and the afternoon ahead ☕☺

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good evening @Former-Member @CheerBear and anyone else around in the nest.

It sounds like there has been a lot of snuggling and napping around here today...and that's ok. I slept far too much this afternoon. I super want to work on getting my sleep back on track. I had planned to not nap today, and yet I still did. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

@Former-Member did your daughter have an exam today? If so, how did she go?

@CheerBear I am super glad that the school is so supportive of your LF. I loved what you said about how you are passing on emotion regulation skills to your LF. I super wish I could meet them - especially puffer fish. I will suss out the DBT skills manual online tomorrow. I am certain you already know a lot of the DBT skills. It definitely isn't any super secret magical therapy. That's why it puzzles me that people spend thousands of dollars going to groups in private hospitals to learn this stuff. I guess everyone is different, but I honestly don't see how the insanely high costs of DBT groups can be justified.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I hope your rest today helped @CheerBear
Do all your LF go to school?
💟😴

Yes, exam today @Phoenix_Rising 💗👍
She thinks she did ok. An all day one and again tomorrow.
Yes, good day to snuggle, it was chilly and I love chilly weather, but not too chilly.

Felt really depressed today.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better for us all. 😴💗💟

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning, @CheerBear and other nesters, just a morning greeting to everyone and good wishes for the new day.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest 😊

@Former-Member - Good morning ☕ The rest did help yesterday and last night thanks. Feeling for your daughter with the stress of exams. It's good that she felt like she did ok yesterday and hope that today is the same for her. Mine are at little school (just). I hope today is better too. Have you got anything planned today?

Good morning @Phoenix_Rising 😊 I wish you could meet my LF and they could meet you too. I have a feeling they'd love you and they're pretty awesome (I think so anyway 😉). I had a look more into getting the skills manual yesterday because I realised the book I could get (based on the manual) was not the book I wanted (the actual manual). I do really want to read it and have it for all the times I can imagine it would be helpful, so my dilemma now is what format I want it and where to source it from. I love that all the supplementary materials are downloadable and have gone over lots of them now. I feel more like this definitely can't hurt me to learn and consider. Hoping to have worked out where to get it soon.

Hope the day ahead is a good one, or at least a better one, for all 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

We posted at the same time @Mazarita 🙂 Good morning to you. How was sleep for you last night?
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