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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear you understand. I knew you would. We will sit together.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

👋💜☕
🌻🌼🌺🌷🌹🌸 @CheerBear

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I think I understand @Phoenix_Rising and I think I feel the same. I'm finding it very tricky to 'see' these beliefs (which I think are similar to yours) potentially put into action. Breathing and trusting the deep inside gut feelings, even though they're really hard to sit with. We've had some practice at doing this lately in different ways, and so far it seems like it has all worked out. Perhaps this is the same but not. I don't know. I'll plonk myself here and sit for a bit too I think.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Took a bit more sleep med at 3.30am, after waking with a head ache.
Have to get moving soon. 😮
At least I'm not crying 😀

@CheerBear 💪💟👍
Hoping your day gies well

Hi @Phoenix_Rising 💕
☕

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning @Former-Member, This is unusal for us to be here in real time together - I mean, when I'm REALLY here rather than trying-to-stay-off-forum-but-failing here. What do you have planned for today?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Phoenix_Rising 💟
Surviving is my plan 😂
School drop off and I'll try and come home and nap.
Feeling super drained.
Not sure after that.
What about you?
I'll have to get up very very soon. 👋
Early start at school. Big exams on

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member Surviving sounds like a super plan, as does napping. I did read that your daughter has exams, but I can't remember what year she is in??? Would these be HSC trial exams?

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear I edited my post and I don't know what that means in terms of notifications because I don't think I've ever done it before. So...in case you missed it, yes, you understand. I think I will spend the morning in your pocket with Dr Havetodo, Squishy and Mr Seahorse, until I see M at 10am.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Starting the day without crying is hopefully nicer than starting with crying @Former-Member 🙂 Good luck to your daughter. I keep wanting to say 'your LF' but I'm not sure she's so little, or that fish works for you. I'm a bit stuck with this one. Gotta love pondering the really important matters in life 😛

@Phoenix_Rising - I get notifications pushed via email so even if posts are edited (or missing which happened above, and can do my head in sometimes because I can't understand why), I still get them and often read via email. I'm glad you understand and I understand too.

Pocket company sounds good. I have my oldies crafty thing about the same time as you'll be out this morning. I'm doing a terrible job at not being here when I should be doing other things this morning, but after the wobbly start I am letting myself have this one this morning 🙂

It's a flurry of activity in our house this morning. I have to go in to school and speak with teachers re the Hallmark day that is approaching and stirring things up for LF. I've been waiting for it and it happened last night, with some residual stuff bubbling away this morning. Sad but normal and expected.

Better to get to bathroom bouncer duty now 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

How did it go with the teachers? @CheerBear 💜
D is in her final year @Phoenix_Rising 💟
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