FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

2,081 - 2,090 of 5,090

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning @CheerBear 👋💕 ☕

I wish you could teach me how to crochet. I have crouched and remember the basics, but I forget how to make patterns and shapes.
Not good with patterns, I need someone to show me. 😊
I'm still in bed having coffee and toast.
Yesterday was a stay at home day with zeto energy.
In answer to your question, yes I do crash really badly after stress, which is all the time. 😮 I'm on a roller coaster constantly and it's tiring.
I hope you rest up and recover today.
A nice big crocheted blanket sounds lovely.
Not sure what's happening today.
Except my girl has friends over later.
Me, I'm surviving as usual. 😂
I'm sounding depressing, sorry.
Distracting time.
More coffee 😀

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hmmm, I wonder if this kind of rollercoaster is a normal PTSD kind of ride one then @Former-Member? Not that I think this way is abnormal, more I'm curious to know whether it is kind of standard. It's exhausting!

Lol, you don't sound depressing. And even if you did, you don't have a reason to be sorry. I'm guessing most of us understand that it's not always sunshine and lollipops!

I wish we could crochet together. I'd love to jump through my screen, have some cake and coffee and play pretties with a hook and some yarn with you. I think I'd worry a bit though as I remember you saying that anything you make has to have a purpose or be functional, and those words don't seem to fit often in my vocabulary 😛

Enjoy your coffee 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest


@CheerBear wrote:

Hi to phoenix_rising (noticing how well you're doing working on your forum down time),

@CheerBear I am always here...even when I'm not.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Haha @Phoenix_Rising, yes you are 🙂 just like that cat I can't seem to get my head around 😉

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear Schrodinger had a cat, you have a turtle. I will now resume not being here...and yet still be here...with my not-friend.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

😂 You have a good memory @CheerBear
Re everything I make has to have a purpose.
I guess it's because I hate collecting clutter. 😂 I'm constantly clearing out clutter to take to the op shop. So things do need a purpose. 😊
My life needs a purpose. 😮😣😨😕
Wish I had more energy to know what that purpose is.
Bit chilly in the house this morning. I'm having trouble getting out of my snuggle blanket.
I need to help with an assignment, so I guess that's a purpose for today. Film and TV assignment. 📷🎥🎬📹🎧😊🌺🌼🌷



Hi there @Phoenix_Rising 🐢
I see you, but will pretend I didn't. 😆😀👀

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Yes, I think it's a PTSD thing @CheerBear
My life has been a constant PTSD thing 😂
Whoops! 11am already, people coming, I'd better get moving. 🏃👋💪

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I just tried to find some funny meme about Schrodinger and the cat but didn't understand any of them so I'll stick with something I can understand and that makes much more sense - a turtle not-friend who is here but not while I am there but not too 🙂

@Former-Member - I have one of those annoying memories that can recall all kinds things but always forgets the really important ones 👍😏

I'm looking forward to decluttering some more when I pack the house. Clutter does my head in recently too. My desk has become a huge mess and I think today is the day I will tackle it. It's full of what feel like potential mines at the moment. Documents, letters, referrals, notes etc but all mixed together with drawings, school newsletters, permission slips - arrrrgh!

Good luck with finding your energy today, with the assignment helping and with the people over 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sounds like my desk. 😂😮😨 @CheerBear

I have to write everything in a diary.

So far haven't had to help with assignment, but apparently I need to be in the film. 😂😮🎥🎬📹

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest

Hope everyone slept well.

I had an ok sleep. Noodle cat woke me at some silly time doing a very Noodle thing. Him and Mouse have a big basket of toys including different types of stuffed creature toys. Sometimes Noodle takes one from the box, puts it on the floor and then spends ages howling while he stands over it looking at it. It's as if he is mourning it and letting his emotions out very, very loudly. Totally ridiculous but very funny. The first few times he woke me by doing it, I got a fright thinking that something had happened to him or Mouse cat. Now I know what it is, I wake with a laugh. Often I find his 'dead friends' in bed with me in the morning, alongside Mouse cat's fetch toys. I'd definitely take cat antics waking me up over nightmares and panic, so it was a good night really.

How did your afternoon/evening go yesterday moviestar @Former-Member 😉? I managed to clean my desk 👍

@Phoenix_Rising - I downloaded a sample chapter of the DBT skills manual and found it really interesting. I've been thinking of trying to read another helping book and am deciding between it, Peter Levine's book and Babette Rothschild's "8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery" at the moment. Do you have any other suggestions and would you be keen on reading another book together but not?

I am off to yoga today, which I have almost no desire/motivation to actually do. Both bed and lounge are calling me loudly, which would be very out of character for me to do. I would love to spend my day doing nothing at all, but worry about it being the start of something hard to break, so I won't. Yoga and supermarket is what I will push myself to do, and if (when) I have done them, I'll call it a win.

Hope everyone has a good day 😊
2,081 - 2,090 of 5,090