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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

It's ok.
Thanks for asking though. Just the usual.
Guess I'm just saying, night night really 😂
And wondering if you're ok.
Nighty night 😴💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm ok tonight @Former-Member, thank you 😊 Hope you're ok enough tonight too. Nighty night 💗😘

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hopefully she'll be home soon (daughter). I'm ready for bed.
Hard when they get older and you have to trust that they're ok. Nice friends, but hard letting go. 😊😮

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear
Above message
You're up late tonight. 😮😀

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

It would be so hard to let go @Former-Member! I am dreading it. Camp is coming up soon here and that's scary enough! Your daughter sounds like she's pretty responsible from what I read. Hopefully she's home soon and you can snuggle down for the night.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Mine only just went on her first camp last year. 😮 only 2 nights.
She never wanted to go and I never forced her.
I'm super protective, because of my traumas, but she's turned out fine anyway. Sensible, confident etc....
Lots of chats etc....
Very open.
Please don't feel obligated to chat. I'll be heading off to bed soon. 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Darn it. Did it again. 😀
@CheerBear
Above msg

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Haha - you make me giggle often @Former-Member (with your tags and funnies).

For all the things that don't seem to be going well, I have a pretty strong feeling you've done a pretty awesome job with your daughter. I think she's lucky to have you.

I think I am off to bed now. I'm going to watch some more cakes being decorated on youtube in bed until I fall asleep I think. So dreamy.

Bug hugs Bella 🐜🐛🤗

Night night x

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Night @CheerBear 😴💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning in the nest.

Fighting some lingering blues this weekend. It's not too bad, it's just a big blegh. I'm realising I kind of jolt into freak out and panic now, then crash hugely for a little once the 'threat' has passed, but then I take a few days (sometimes longer than a few days) to make my way out of the feelings that linger post flip out. Does anyone else get that kind of rollercoaster? I get so frustrated at myself that I can't seem to just cruise through it all and roll with it.

Today is quiet and chill here hopefully. I have pulled out my giant blanket this morning and will do some work on it again in a moment. I've made some progress on the gift project but it's very repetitive and I want my big blanket for my bed for if/when we eventually move. Fish are all happy at the moment doing thier own little things this morning too which is nice.

@Former-Member - how has your weekend been? ☕🤗

Hi to phoenix_rising (noticing how well you're doing working on your forum down time), mazarita (hope you're going ok x), pepsimax, shaz51, teej, 5-HT, the-vorticon, faith-and-hope and all 👋. I feel funny tagging sometimes and figured those who read along will see this anyway ☺

Hope there have been some smile worthy moments for you all this weekend 💗
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