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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member Good morning. I am not here...and yet I am. 😊
@CheerBear I am thinking of you with the super hard phonecall today. I am super glad you will have your mh worker with you. And of course I am right there in your pocket. 😊

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Breathing a bit better now. The assessment was very tricky but my mh worker totally smashed it, in a way that I didn't expect, and I feel so seriously thankful to have had her alongside me today. I have a six month exemption from it all now. The assessor mentioned something about being able to see I have a 'permanent' condition and that there is evidence of how it impacts my ability to work to the point of not being able to work. This is with no evidence of the physical stuff which adds to it. So the next step now is for my mh worker and I to look into a DSP application and what is involved. I have time now, enough to work out a next step plan, and that's a great outcome for today 🙂

Thanks for riding this one out with me too, to those who have.

Ps - @Phoenix_Rising I introduced Dr Havetodo to my mh worker today, because I trust her and she nailed it with me today. She loves Dr Havetodo.

Off on an adventure in the sun to shake it off now.

Hope it's a good day all

💛

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hello @CheerBear

Thank you for the update, I am really glad to hear that the meeting ended with a good outcome and you now have one less thing to worry about for the time being. Well done on getting through all of that, that was not easy and you did so good.

Lunar 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear well done on handling the things yesterday and today. Glad that your mh worker had your back.
Hope you have a good time with the "self care" stuff this arvo.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

That's a relief @CheerBear 💕
So good that you have an understanding mh worker to help you get through all this CL stuff.
You're slowly getting through the really tough stuff. With good outcome.
You deserve a treat. That's what I always say to my daughter 😂 that we need a treat for ........... 😀
We both try to be healthy though and one of us usually is stronger than the other and is able to talk us out of it. 😂
Not lately though. We've been having lots of treats for the :pile_of_poo: time we've been having.
Yesterday I bought myself a really pretty mug and a pretty cup and saucer. I love drinking out of nice cups. I resisted all sweets while shopping yesterday and got the cup/mug instead. Oh and I did get the potato chips, but we'll forget that one. At least there wasn't any sugar in them. 😀
Anyway, I hope your adventure is a fun one.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi all Nutella seagulls 😀
I've been giving my daughter strawberries with Nutella on them in her lunch. 😮 How lucky is she?? 😂
Have you tried it? Yummo!

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Former-Member I am not here...and yet I am...cos I just heard the word nutella. 😆

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Me too, me too ..... ❣️

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Nutella?

Such a relief today, thanks again 🙂 Six months will help a lot. I would love for everything to get fixed in six months. Maybe if I wish for it hard enough it can happen? 😉 There's a little voice somewhere reminding me that six hours of feeling some relief from one thing doesn't exactly mean everything is totally great now, and that going slowly and gently is maybe important also. It feels good now though.

I did just go out for a treat @Former-Member - the most totally delicious Vietnamese lunch. It was a salad sort of dish with Vegetarian spring rolls, vermicelli noodles, pickled carrot, cucumer, bean shoots and a whole heap of herbs. So crunchy and colourful and tasty! So full now though. I've struggled with food a bit this week so it was nice to be able to stomach something yum 🙂 I love pretty and funky cups too, that sounds like a nice treat yesterday. I think lots of us deserve treats for the tricky and tough times that we're making our way through (even if it doesn't feel like we are).

Time to get my rainbow umbrella. The weather today is just like me - up and down and all over the place 😛

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Lunch sounds yummy @CheerBear
A step at a time is all we can do.
You've been through some tough one's lately.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a gentle day. 💟

I've got a roast in the oven and I'd better go and check it.
Just had argument with my girl, grrr. Hate that.
Super big exams next week, plus assignments to finish. They certainly like to stress the students out
I let mine have a day off when she needs it.
No way am I going to let her burn out, I know the signs.
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