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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Nighty night @CheerBear 😴💜
Sleep well and I'm hoping you'll wake feeling a little better.
Sounds like a nuce afternoon, I'm glad you were able to get some crocheting done.
I've been feeling pretty crappy today/tonight. Hoping to be in bed soon and start afresh tomorrow.
My mummy is looking very old. 😢
Can't stop ageing though.
Makes me determined to try and be healthy, exercise and keep moving.
Hmm! No exercise today though.

Night night everyone. 😴💜

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi everyone, your late night nester here again. Coughing too much and too hard in my sleep tonight, probably post-viral cough at this stage. Had to get up from the lying down position which brings on the hacking big-time. So awake here for now and cough has subsided in this sitting up position. Good time to say hello again.

@Phoenix_Rising, I hope your lurgy passes soon too. At our friend's place last night with C, all three of us were in various stages of trouble and recovery with it. What a germy get together! Pesky viruses! Did you make it to yoga? I'm sorry to say I haven't done a single pose since my first tree last week. I will report in on the other thread when I do.

@CheerBear, how lovely that you spent so much time in the sun yesterday. There were a couple of trees full of pink spring blossoms when we went to the shops. It made me glad. Thank you for your good wishes with the new psychologist today. Unrelated... what's this 'thing' about the 10th page?

@Former-Member, I'm impressed that you iron. I know what you mean about cotton needing it. I go for fabrics that look okay without it, and just accept the 'crushed look' on anything else.

Yesterday was another slow one for me. Most of the morning catching up on sleep missed in the middle of last night, and/or recovery from the bigger day previous. One day 'on' and one day 'off' is not unusual for me. It seems like some kind of miniature version of the bipolar 'boom or bust' cycles I've had in much bigger ways at other times. But did end up at friend's place last night. And I have appointments three days in a row from today. Mostly health related appointments, with a couple of creative groups as well at the local mental health centre. All good.

Hi @Former-Member and anyone else around. Hope everyone is going okay.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning 🙂

Sleep was tricky last night for me. It took forever to get to sleep and I woke up really early. I made a coffee and found myself crying out of the blue, so I am guessing that it's left over sad stuff feelings from yesterday.

@Former-Member - I hope that the new day ahead helps you feel less crappy. I can imagine how confronting it might be to really 'see' your mum aging and how that might bring up lots of stuff. What have you got on today?

@Mazarita - Over the last couple of days I have noticed the cherry blossoms have started to wake up here too. They're magnificent. Where I am is full of them and they sprinkle the streets with pink and white at this time of the year. Definitely something that reminds me that warmer, sunnier days aren't far away 🙂 Hope the next few days of appointments and groups are good for you. I'll keep my eye out for any post about today if you make it, and send you my lots of thinking of you vibes for you day.

Off to oldies group today, which next to yoga is a highlight of my week. I love that I have fitted in so well with a group that I wouldn't have expected to. A few of the ladies there are very open about having no time left for caring about crap (some swear a lot lol) and I find that attitude seriously kick arse. So I wll sit with a cup of tea and some pretty yarn and draw inspiration from some pretty tough women who have survived their fair share of pretty tough times, yet can still find the space to laugh lots. It's soul medicine.

Hope the morning is a good one for those reading 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear I am super glad you have a fun thing to do today after the ickyness of yesterday.

I hope you have a great day too @Former-Member @Mazarita @Former-Member and all other nest-dwellers.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good Morning @CheerBear 💟 @Mazarita 💟@Phoenix_Rising 💟 👋☕☕☕
And everyone 💟👋☕☕
I'm so incredibly tired, might be back later some time.
Woke at 4am bombarded with problem thoughts. I try to not dwell on problems, hard when they just pop in your head while trying to sleep.
Will try and nap later this morning and hopefully reply properly after that.
Hoping to get to yoga pilates class, then GP apts after lunch. 😴💜

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Phoenix_Rising I didn't tag you properly. Re above msg 😊💕

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Phoenix_Rising good morning 🙂 You were up and about early this morning which makes me think that maybe you're off adventuring today. I hope it's a good one for you. Love how still and calm the ocean looks for you 🙂

@Former-Member - hello to you too 🙂 Far out it is hard when thoughts jump into your head at inconvenient times, like 4am 😞 I think mine came in at about 4:30ish this morning, but it was more feelings instead of thoughts. Hope you enjoy yoga/pilates today and find it helpful.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

No yoga/pilates class today @CheerBear @Mazarita @Phoenix_Rising

Had a brief nap and a super healthy lunch.

Fighting off a cold now, so better not push myself out in the busy traffic unless I really have to.

GP appointment will be enough for today. I hope that I don't have to have anything taken off. Regular skin checks are good so doc can get the BC off without too much scarring. The joys of life, not......... I have been lucky in the past couple of skin checks, so I can be lucky today too.

Do you take any natural remedies for the cold/cough you have @Mazarita ? It's awful having it hang around for so long.

Carft group sounds fun @CheerBear I have some phone numbers to phone re craft groups etc, when I feel up to ringing. This week will just have to be a slow week and do the essentials. Sorry to hear you had a cry, but I hope it helped you release some of the stress.

Are you feeling better today? @Phoenix_Rising

Ok, time to shower etc and get moving for appoitment etc.

Does anyone know how to get more emojis on my laptop? It's an Apple Air....... Whoops! Gotta rush now. xoxo

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Oooh look at all the pink @Former-Member 😍

Good luck with your appointment and I hope it's good news for you. Good to hear you're looking after you and not pushing yourself more than you need, epsecially while you're not feeling well.

💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Pretty pink 😀
I found how to change the print colour, but not how to get more emojis 😂

At library now. Printer wasn't working at school. Oops have to go @CheerBear 😀
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