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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi Everyone. 💜💕
Back later, not sure when though. Need a sleepy. Awful dreams last night .

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Not much luck having a nap, would doze off and wake with a panic attack. 😮😣😨
Feeling very, very emotional. 😢
Wish I could change things between my mother and I, but I can't.
Saw her and all the big triggers were set off.
She's getting very old and it's so sad that we can't have a relationship.

How did your apt go with the nurse @CheerBear ? 💜
When did you start going to yoga?
Sorry, I missed that bit. 😀💜
It's ok that you called me a turkey. 😂 I thought that was funny, but perhaps we could call your landlord that instead. 😀

I ironed my shirt this morning @Mazarita 😂💜
After years of not ironing, I bought a new iron and board, oh and some starch. 😀
I try to buy cotton clothes, because it's so hot here. Unfortunately cotton needs ironing. But often I don't have the energy to iron.
I hope you feel better today and are sble to go for your beach walk and hope you feel better to @Phoenix_Rising 💜

Hi to anyone else around. 👋💟💜

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Too not to 😀

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

😞 hugs @Former-Member. Sorry things are hard with your mum. I can imagine as she's getting older it could feel even sadder for you.

My appointment was hard and I'm feeling very emotional at the moment too. I took some big breaths and did some tricky things with it all and it's kind of come crashing down.

I started yoga with @Phoenix_Rising about 4 weeks ago now. I have to miss it today because a LF had to come home from school (they copped a knock to the head, but are ok which is great). I'm really sad about missing it as it was the thing I was most looking forward to to help me get through the day.

I might just stay inside the nest for the rest of forever. I think all my problems will disappear if I can just sit here and not move 😉

Hope the rest of your afternoon is ok Bella 💗

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Sorry you're sad too @CheerBear 😢💜💕
We can sit and be sad for a little while.
Oh dear, your LF. 😮💟
Glad they're ok though.
Awful when our kids get hurt.
Some days are harder than others.
I hope you get a little rest before school pickup.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Thanks @Former-Member. Sitting for a bit sounds good 😞

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @CheerBear and @Former-Member,

I'm sorry to hear that today is a super tough day for you both. @CheerBear if you are going to stay in the nest forever, I'm glad we had a bath installed!

My day is being just another day around here - which feels super good after the nightmare of last week. My session with (A) was difficult...but ok because I have my lifeline now. If I didn't have the lifeline, I would be exactly where I was this time last week. I am so very very VERY grateful for this unexpected lifeline.

I'm sad to hear you will miss yoga today @CheerBear. I was tossing up whether to go myself because of this darn cold. However, I signed up for this evening just then. I figure it is close to home and the class is only an hour. I'm not sure if I will reappear after class this evening though, it may wipe me out. Stupid cold!!!

I hope you can feel snuggly and safe here in the nest after your icky appointment @CheerBear. It made me smile when I read that you called the helpline last week on the same day that I did. We really were in the same place but not.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm here for a little while longer, if you'd like to chat about it @CheerBear 💟
Otherwise sitting is fine. ☕🍰

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Glad to hear you're able to still go to yoga @Phoenix_Rising. I was wondering whether the cold might knock you out from it. Hope you're feeling proper better soon. I'm also very glad you have your lifeline, especially given this morning with A was difficult. So glad there's such a fabulous looking bath too, considering I plan to spend the rest of my life in the nest 😛

Thanks @Former-Member. If stuff is still bubbling away later I might write a venty post but for now just sitting and sharing what I did feels good. Thank you for listening 💛☕😻

The sun is very sunny today and it feels like spring is on it's way finally. It's a nice sitting in the sun afternoon and we might do something outsidey once all three are home. Speaking of, better get moving 👋.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Pats on the back for surviving another (very) tricky day 🙂 I went to write a venty post and realised it would be a tenth reply taking it to the next page, so I I'll skip it (this is definitely becoming a 'thing' at the moment). It helped just writing it out and made my head think a bit clearer.

We ended up spending heaps of time in the sunshine outside this afternoon. I crocheted while fish drew and it was chill and nice, which helped a lot. No heater on tonight for the first night in such a long time too!

@Former-Member - I hope your night has been ok. You've been on my mind a lot this afternoon. Sending you big hugs 💛 and cake because this one is guilt free sugar free and super delicious 🍰

@Mazarita - wishing you well for your adventure tomorrow (just in case we don't bump into each other before then)

Heading to the Mr Matey bubble filled bath before I go to bed. It is lovely to have one again (even if it is a virtual one). Thanks @Former-Member 😉 🙂

Night all
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