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I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.
In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.
Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.
I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.
Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.
I am sitting in the car waiting to go into my violin lesson. Everybody pause for a moment's silence in sympathy for my violin teacher having to listen to me. 😆
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Ha ha @Phoenix_Rising! You will be wonderful.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Thanks for thinking of me @Mazarita and @CheerBear💜💕 Yes, I was at the beach painting and chatting all day. 😀 I'm so exhausted. Was huge for me to go, as it was half an hour drive in super busy traffic. But I made 2 lovely friends. Was a wreck from driving there and looking for a park, but next time we're going to do it closer to my place. Was a bit too much for first attempt at going out, but, I did it. 😀 Painted a beach scene. Well, attempted to. 😂 Needs to be finished still. I'm in bed at the moment, not feeling well at all Glad you're feeling a bit better Mazarita I really, really love your crocheting CheerBear 👍💟
Hi everyone 👋💗💕
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Hi @Former-Member, so great you made it to the beach. And that you were painting. And made two lovely friends. Good on you for overcoming tough obstacles to get there and do all that! Hope you can recover well now after some rest.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
Gosh! I wonder why the heck can't I do things like everyone else does and not fall apart. @Mazarita But, I just have to keep doing things at the pace I can cope with. Too slow, in my opinion, but I have to start somewhere. It feels like I'll never get better, but I have to keep trying. 👋💕
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
I really relate to that feeling, @Former-Member. I keep trying to focus on the small improvements I notice over time if I can just keep at things, even if only irregularly. I certainly feel a lot stronger than I did three years ago, even though I also have these down and out weeks still. Slow and steady.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
It's frustrating, isn't it? @Mazarita But, yes, we need to look at improvements, even if it is slow. 😊💟💕
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
@Former-Member, and be kind to ourselves too.
In response to: I'm in a nest
Unknown userMember
Re: I'm in a nest
I often wonder if you live close by @Mazarita😀 We are lucky to have the beach to walk on. I don't walk there in summer though. 😮😀 Perfect weather now. 💜
In response to: Re: I'm in a nest
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: I'm in a nest
Are you southern GC, @Former-Member? The weather here today was like summer. I think it was around 27 degrees.
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