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Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

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In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Lol, not sure what the last emoji is @CheerBear

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good evening nesters, I am doing a super quick flyby before I return to the ocean. It sounds like you are both feeling empowered @CheerBear and @Former-Membereven though it is super hard work to make our voices heard. I am very much in a muddle at the moment, but I'm sure the storm will pass - they always do.

It's ok to not be ok...but it is super nice when we get those days when we ARE ok.

I am excited to hear you went to a yoga class @Former-Member. You know this means I will be expecting you on our Great Yoga Adventure thread tomorrow. The pose for this week is Warrior II. No pressure...I'll just keep nagging you

Happy nesting.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

So lovely to see you at the end of this long, hard day @Phoenix_Rising 🙂 I've been hoping you'd see @Former-Member has started a yoga adventure too! Today has been wonky here again but reading over my post from this morning reminds me that things can and do change.

Hope tomorrow the ocean is calmer 🙂

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Night night @CheerBear @Phoenix_Rising
I made it out for a walk and Subway at the beach.
💪💜💕

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Good morning, @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @Phoenix_Rising and everyone

Phoenix, you may have noticed my absence in the yoga thread over recent days (well since the one time I actually did a pose, lol). I have had extreme virus going on and could barely breathe let alone stand on one leg. I'd like to hold onto the tree pose as my little activity for a while longer. I think it will help me feel a bit more balanced and secure. Doing it reminds me of one time when I 'danced' with a tree. This entailed hugging it in a strong wind. I realise for the first time that trees actually move around slightly in the ground, are not like stiff poles. They are very gently dancing in the wind. So when I wobble around a bit in my tree pose (calf only), I can just say I'm dancing!

Bella, so cool you have been out walking at the beach too.

CB, I just read your longer post about your thoughts after the appointment you had with the housing people. Good on you for finding your own strength in something that really rocked you at the time. Your spirit is inspiring! I hope you have made some more headway on the difficult round of the new blanket. I know you will still be enjoying the colours.

Hoping to get out on the beach today after some really sick days here. Have started recovering well now. Sending love and good wishes to all for the day ahead.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hiya @Mazarita. I love your description of your moment with the tree and your tree pose. Thank you for your comments about my thoughts on the appointment. I am definitely enjoying the colours of my blanket still and am hoping to finish up this part this afternoon. How are you feeling today? Hope you did get out to the beach and that you enjoy/enjoyed it.

Hope you enjoyed art today too @Former-Member 💗

Today has been a funny kind of day. I've done the things I had planned and have been out and about, but it has been with big time lingering sadness. The type where I feel like it wouldn't take much and I'd find myself in a puddle of tears. I don't know exactly what's up (or down) but there's something not quite right today. This week really has been tough and I could use a break from tough but the weekend is busy and next week has some things that look like they could be challenging too (an appointment with the real estate, the nurse, my psych etc). I was told yesterday that my job capacity assessment, which I am very concerned about, could happen anytime and I'm expected to cancel whatever may clash with it to go to it. I should find out on Monday when it has been booked and maybe knowing when it is will take some of the anxiety away hopefully 😕 It's all getting a bit much at the moment 😞

Can't imagine there is much that will make it better or easier that I am not already trying, but I wanted to share how I'm feeling today because it's kind of lonely feeling blue.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I finished part 8 🙂 I wanted to share so I'm posting here and hoping no-one is sick of me talking about it. It's now about a metre from point to point.

This round was the one that got me. It got me last time too, so it's nice to have gotten through it. They're the longest and trickiest stitches in the whole project.

Yay for checking that off my want to do list for the day (even if it carried over a few days) 🙂

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Can't wait to see it @CheerBear!
How is everyone in the nest today?

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear, so beautiful, the photo of your crochet. I never tire of seeing such gorgeous work, and hearing about it.

I did get out on the beach today and am now at friend's place. Will be walking back home too. It was a difficult walk to get here, vry slow and fairly breathless. But now that the dust (sand?) has settled and I have had a rest here, I am feeling good for having done it.

@Former-Member, I was thinking of you as I walked today, wondering if you were out too. ox

@Former-Member, hi, hpe your day has been okay or better. I am in early recovery from a very nasty lurgy.

Good vibes to all in the nest this afternoon. ox

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Stunning @ CheerBear ..... ❣️

Hi everyone ..... 😊
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