FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

I'm in a nest

I'm in a nest

I'm making a nest because I'm not feeling very ok and I would like to have a place to retreat to while I ride it out. Everything is chaotic all around and inside me almost all of the time, and I need some time out from it. If I make a nest here I can carry it in my pocket and know it's there for me.

In this nest it's very cosy. There's lots of soft pillows and blankets. Some are made with bright colours, mostly greens, pinks and yellows, and some are made in much deeper shades of purples. The nest is egg shaped so it can be climbed into it but still be a hiding out place. There's lots of fairy lights strung around the nest. They're different shapes and some are warm yellow, some are cool white and some are multi-coloured. They can be adjusted to vary the amount and type of light inside. There's also music which can sometimes be heard throughout the whole nest and sometimes it's playing from the headphones that are always kept on the pile of cushions. There's a lava lamp as well, and squishy glitter balls to squeeze and roll in hands. There are an endless supply of soft creatures to hold or sit with. There's always flowers in the corner and this morning they are gerberas standing tall and proud, on a little wooden table. Next to the vase is a teapot, colourful and quirky, with a collection of teacups and mugs.

Right now I am sitting in a pile of cushions very still with my knees to my chest, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. There's no music at the moment so it is very quiet. Only a couple of strings of lights are turned on and they're twinkling yellow balls, so it's very dark but there's still some light inside. I have a soft blanket around me. It's peaceful in here.

I have to sit here until I can work out what to do next. I'm surrounded by people but I don't remember feeling so alone. I feel scared of making any move right now because I don't know what the right move is, and I don't trust any direction. I'm hoping that if I can hold out like this for just a little bit longer I will know what to do.

Right now I don't want to talk but I don't want to feel so alone either, so I'm asking for someone to please come and sit quietly next to me until I can move from my ball or I am made to move from it. I don't know when that will be, but I know I can't stay like this forever.

5090 replies

161 - 170 of 5,090

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@Spookytookims - getting an order placed on me. Their call tonight has triggered massive fear and I'm so tired and it's messing with me

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Ok... @CheerBear you need to think this through. IF an order is placed on you.. do you have things in place to have the LF cared for? I'm sure you do by now because these threat business has been ongoing for days now so pretty sure you would have made some type of arrangement in case it happens, yes?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

No @Spookytookims i don't. My cm spoke about needing to do that asap today just in case and has told me she'd work out a time for next week to do it. I can't let it happen. That's the bottom line. I have to do what I can to make sure it doesn't happen

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I'm really sorry if I made it worse @CheerBear 😔

Please don't respond. It's a one way apology. I hope you get through tonight ok.

Hey @Spookytookims Been thinking about you today too. I understand your thoughts and saw your first post on the other thread . I get it's all frustrating for you. Go gentle on you too

thinking of you both 💜🤗

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

PS night to both of you. I'm heading off now. 💜🤗😴😴😴

my hearts going out to you @CheerBear💜

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

Hi @Former-Member I'm ok.. more pissed off than anything. Should just write it out I think... cos it's just making me twisted when I think of it all. Totally floored by a moderators comment in the TI thread.. seriuosly wtf! But hey.. typical not thinking I guess, .... but how are you?

@CheerBear... do you think that's the biggest problem them.. thinking you might be ordered and not having something arranged for the LF? Cos I;m pretty sure in that situation that would be the biggest thing for me.

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

The biggest problem @Spookytookims is that I think I'm starting to feel much more 'crazy' than before. Like I really don't know what is happening, what's real, who I can trust, what I am hearing and seeing. My body is tired and wired and it's getting very messy.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

@CheerBear I don't get why they are all over the place on this with you. I don't understand why it is in this weird limbo maybe it will/maybe it won't happen thing... I just so totally don't get that at all. Do you know why they are so hedging and bullshit on it?

In response to: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

I know someone will step up for LF if needed @Spookytookims. I don't want to tell them what's happening but I know they will be there if they need.

In response to: Re: I'm in a nest

Re: I'm in a nest

ha.. pretty much jinx on that one 😛 @CheerBear yeah well see that limbo push me pull you thing is enough to drive anyone crazy. it plays with the mind and keeps it constantly thinking about it. It truly is "crazy making" by the real definition of the term because it doesn't allow for stability and base to actually think things through properly before.. woooosh.. the rug is pulled again. So it literally keeps you unbalanced.

161 - 170 of 5,090