sad&stuck

nighty night @STORMGRL101 Sweet dreams buddy. Catch ya tomorrow

Scared & trapped & frustrated is how I'm feeling right now. Scared because I am going to show my support worker the letter tomorrow and I don't know how she is going to react. She will probably want me to show my new psychologist which I don't want to. Trapped because I have to continue with this neuro-therapy treatment for the next 8 weeks or so and I don't believe it is going to help me. Frustrated because I am struggling to control these SH urges. ahhhhhh

Hi @STORMGRL101 Whatever way you support worker reacts tomorrow when you give her the letter is not as important as the fact that you actually wrote it. It took a lot of courage to do that last night and I know it was very difficult and very draining for you. It really should be your decision whether you then show it to your psychologist Storm. The only exception to this would be if you have written about 'planning' to hurt yourself or someone else as this is when confidentiality in a professional setting like this can be broken. So if that is not the csae then it really is 'entirely' your choice.

Is there any way you can distract yourself from the SH urges? Maybe this is a good time for us to decorate your corner over in TOR!

@Zoe7 There is a chance that she will feel like she has to break confidentiality which is also why I'm so scared. After I see her, I have a few hours and then I will have to go to my neuro therapy session. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day. I should probably hang out for awhile in my corner.

Definitely come on over - I am checking out the decorators work now so we can reveal your sanctaury soon @STORMGRL101

Hi @STORMGRL101,

It sounds like it is another tough day today.

I'm glad you were able to talk with the team leader at the service you attend, despite your support worker being away sick today. From what you've said, you were able to build trust with her and talk about what was happening for you, which was a really courageous step. It is good to hear that you came up with a plan together about some extra support for you at the moment.

I understand that you are feeling tired of pretending, that would get really exhausting. Perhaps you dont need to pretend? It's okay to tell people how you are really feeling.

What time is your neurotherapy appointment? Hopefully you're in the appointment now or dont have much longer to wait

Hi @STORMGRL101,

It sounds like it is another tough day today.sending you hugs my friend

I am here if you like to chat for a while and @Former-Member, is here too xx

WOW @STORMGRL101 you did an amazing job with everything you had to deal with. It was a really big deal giving her that letter - I know how tough it was for you to write and how very emotional it made you. To be able to feel so comfortable with this person to give it to her is a very, very big step - so much courage buddy It sounds like not only was she extremely supportive but she also really listened to you - another huge positive. It also seems to me that you weren't 'pretending' today and you actually acknowledge how hard it has been (and still is) for you and that you need help - HUGE

Even though you say you can't do it anymore the fact that you have achieved so much already today, and are still letting us know how you are and exactly where you are 'at' gives me real hope for you that you can infact 'do it'.

I know so well that feeling of wanting everything to just 'go away' - you get stuck so deep into the darkness and really want to give up fighting to find any light - and can't even acknowledge it is there if you see it - being in this position more than sucks. The only solace I have found in these times is the continued and unwavering support of all the amazing people on the forum - they have walked beside me when I was falling and held me up when I have felt the water lapping at my face and being unable to breathe. We are here to do the same for you Storm.

...sitting beside you...

Zoe