Nothing

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@CheerBear wrote:
Thank you @Phoenix_Rising for seeing that and reminding me of that. It's scary to think how much it happens and how much that's what was happening on the phone today, or at least that's what it felt like. My calm matter of factness and my attempts to make a point about retraumatising and taking away my right to self-determination and autonomy were not well recieved and I know that now. I'm going to do my very best to try not to argue and to just comply from now on, even if it feels like it's lying down and taking it. I will tell myself I need to do this for my safety because it's true. I can deal with the soul damage this will have caused another time, once the big scaries are out of the picture. Thank you for being there, with others today. It was super helpful

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That sounds like a super good plan @CheerBear. Yep you can deal with the soul damage later once the big scaries are out of the picture. I wish I could tell you there won't be soul damage, but I fear there will be. I know my soul is so very very damaged from these sorts of situations - far more than it was ever damaged by the original muddle. But hey, if I hadn't experienced what I have, then I wouldn't be able to sit here with you right now and genuinely tell you that I get it, would I. I really don't think that anyone who hasn't experienced it can REALLY get it. I think they kind-of NEED to believe that the system can't be as awful as it is in Australia in 2017. All that talk about breaking down the stigma of MI amounts to nothing when this is the way people with a MI are treated. You will get through this muddle. This current situation will pass. And, as sad as it is, I know you will probably be more wary about what you share with whom in the future. That is so wrong...and yet so totally understandable. This is something I super love about the SANE forums - the way people can genuinely talk about how much they are struggling without fear of this sort of thing happening. Have you ever called the SANE helpline? I have called a few times and they are SUPER helpful - much more than the crisis lines. I think it makes a huge difference that they actually know me and my story. Sometimes I've been super dysregulated and I've just managed to get out "it is Phoenix_Rising from the forums, please don't hang up on me" and then I've gone into my making weird noises thing and they have been able to sit with that until it settles. Yep, I think THIS is a safe place to share how you are really feeling. I super hope you can keep feeling safe here.

Perhaps distracting with conversation about something else will. @CheerBear would it help to do that. I'm thinking the latest thing you found on Pinterest or something.

Yeah I'm doing ok @CheerBear now. I don't get me at all. I've got no idea how any one else ever will. That's cool about your cat. If I threw a ball in the bath my dog would be in with me too.

I have two highlights. I started the day off in a really bad place. My mood was really low. I forgot my phone and coulnt get my groceries when I was at the supermarket the first time as my card is in my phone and I was falling to pieces. Long winded story, bear with me. Anyway supermarket, second trip tonight, I bumped into a mum friend from one of my kids sports. The boys played for many years together ( I think they got their 10yr plaques together). I haven't seen her for four years. Finally getting to the highlight. I remembered her name, her two kids names and her husbands name. They came from nowhere. I totally shocked myself. After that successful social encounter I tried my hand at Friday feast and managed that too, highlight number two. Are you in pain from reading that now 😝

Oops @CheerBear im afraid I've done that all day. It's been all about me and then I've realised that wasn't the intention.

Have you ever tried jigsaws or do they frustrate you. For me that's quite calming but I know some people would rather eat bricks than do puzzles.

I haven't really worked how to use Pinterest yet but I'm getting caught up in it. How long have you been pinteresting?