Nothing

I've read all of your posts and all of it made me feel better during what has been and still is the most intense and scary time since the scariest thing happened a while ago so thank you. I don't remember exactly what your posts said and don't remember what I even said here but I will read them when my brain is working better. I do remember panicking and spinning and reaching here and feeling people and that's very important and has possibly kept me from saying things I seriously wanted to and seriously can't to unhelpful helping people in positions of power that are very very scary. I know that when psych nurse told me that call to catt was being made regardless of what I said I flipped a bit after holding back for ages. He said "this isn't helping your case" and that feels like a threat and that makes flip outs worse and I feel like they almost say this stuff and then look at each other and say "told you she was crazy".

I think every single person here would be a million times better at those jobs than 99.9% of people in them. I know what it felt like to see you here and it felt like a group hug and that's what I needed. I did not need to have scary feelings amplified and panic turned on. I don't need to now be sitting here wondering what if and when it will happen. I should have listened to my gut feeling all along that said that it's not ok to talk about this stuff, but I was scared of where my head was. Now I am left still scared of my head but now even more scared of the people who know and that's not ok.

I'm running on auto mode but think the panic is settling at the moment because all of a sudden instead of feeling my heart racing, I feel my body aching all over and I am very tired. I'm waiting out the next hour while another movie finishes and then I will have a bath and try to sleep. The fear of the phone ringing is going to be hard to sit with for too long so hopefully it's all over and done with sooner than not and I can go back to living my happy from the outside but everything feels awful on the inside existence. But LIVING with it, like I have done for a long time and plan to continue doing.

Sorry for the long post. This stuff has to come out and nowhere feels very safe at the moment except here.

Really sorry to read what you're going through @CheerBear 💗💟
Sending you love and a big hug.
🌷🌼🌺🌻🌹🌸

Thank you @Former-Member and so sorry this all went down here on your safe place. I've been thinking of you and hope you're ok. Here for you, even in a spinning mess where the only thing I can really say or do is to let you know I'm listening to you and sending you my love and thoughts

Thankyou @Spookytookims @Former-Member @CheerBear for being there yesterday and offering to chat. Sorry I wasn't able to chat, it's best if I don't share too much on here.
💟💗🌼🌹🌻🌸🌷🌺

That's ok, honest @CheerBear 😙💟👍🐻
I'm so glad that you can share what you're going through.
You really need support right now.

How are you tonight @Former-Member

Recovering from yesterday @Former-Member 💟
Sometimes things/problems come too fast too often.
I have to go and pick my daughter up very soon.
Thanks for sharing your lovely holiday photos.
I hope that you have been able to relax.
🐋🐳🐚🐉🐛🐠🌞🌊


@CheerBear I hope the bath helped you relax a little and took some of the aches and pains away. I hope you'll be able to sleep. You definitely need an early night. 😴💜💕

Yes they do come up very fast and often hit hard @Former-Member make sure your doing self care too ❤❤❤