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It really is ok to talk and vent and seek help @CheerBear. I promise it will get better over time with the reactions. As you've said. You're only human with HUGE responsibilities that I see you juggling much better than me. Keep talking here if it helps.

hello @CheerBear

Keep talking to me my friend

@CheerBear If you look deep enough here I have a thread on the forum that is 185 pages of me being in crisis and venting and being on the verge of SH with so much support from members. It's almost a diary of my weekly breakdowns and I still do every week. Please please don't ever feel ashamed of letting go of it here.

Hi @CheerBear, I am at home now and you have my full attention. It is totally fine to keep talking it out here. I feel SUPER angry on your behalf and I super wish I could take this whole muddle away from you. If it really does look like its going to play out in the most undesirable way, is there anything you want or need to do to make the situation a tiny bit ok? I assume the little fish will be attended to by the big ships? I imagine that is super super SUPER tough, but I hope there is a tinsy tiny bit of comfort in knowing they will be attended to.

I know for me, having my phone fully charged would be super important so that I could maintain contact with important others (like forumites!!!!) for as long as possible. I would also ensure I had my toy turtle with me. Is there anything at all that will help you feel better if you end up having to go to the hospital? I super super super hope you don't end up going, but if you do, please make sure you have whatever little thing might help a tiny bit.

venting is good @CheerBear it's an outlet... outlet is good. please don't walk away. YOu are in a world of hurt because you have very real things going on that would make anyone feel like they are awash.

I don't know how I'd be in your situation right now... I'm angry and mad at the whole thing, that you have been shoved into deeper problems because you reached out to what @Phoenix_Rising accurately described as a broken system.

This whole thing is systematic problems.... clink, housing, now this cr@p... our system is failing and unfortunately nobody is doing a damn thing about it except writing more text book answers that simply don't work in the real world for real people and it is SO frustrating, so annoying and so damn devastating.

I'm scared, I'm terrified for you... I'm pretty sure I get it. because I feel it. But I don't "get" the kids thing.. because I don't have kids, I do have cats I love dearly but that's as close as it gets.. I can only imagine how much more complicating and terrifying that would make all of it.

Now I'm really feeling bad about CBG by the way.

How's the breathing going @CheerBear?

Sorry to hear how things are going atm @CheerBear

I can relate unfortunately, but still trying to make things better.

The Catt team may be able to be discrete about it and visit without traumatising little ones .. but letting them see the bigger picture and that all mothers need a little support. The triage nurse may help manage it all at home, but just putting in crisis support.

Hope it works out for the best.