Highlights of my day- Although I have come down to earth this afternoon with a thud (back into depression numbing mode), I went out of my house for the first time in days today to my local market. It was a sunny, warm morning here in the west. I got a coffee, and chatted to the lovely family who run the stall. Then I brought some veges, and had a small chat with them, and I bought a pretty dress, even though I probably can't afford it. I sat and drank my coffee while listening to local music artists singing. I needed some brightness to my dark days of late, and it helped for a few hours.
My new house mate also moved in today, which is going to be a big help financially, but I'm super anxious for her not to know about my mental illnesses, SH & SI impulses, which obviously I can't do if she is around, as I don't want her to freak out and leave. It's happened to me before. She shared with me some really difficult and traumatic times she has had over the last few years, but she has come through all that with a remarkable, positive attitude. That leaves me thinking why can some people move on and others get stuck? I feel like such a fraud sometimes, like I should just get over my shit.
And then when I have come on to this site, it's nice to see messages or likes from people who barely know me, and despite them sitting in their own darknesses, they have taken the time to reach out to me. So hi to @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Eden1919 @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @CheerBear It's difficult to come into this forum, as I feel like an intruder at times when you all know each other & support each other so well. I don't always know where I fit, or what to say, so it's hard to now my purpose here yet.
