Welcome To My Nightmare

Hi @Glorianna

Reads fine.

We all end up dead. Can't escape that one. Besides, it is appropriate to show kids that creating and defending freedom has costs. Sometimes those costs are greater than someone may want but the alternative would be worse.

Thing I have learned (just) is that retreating from people only hurts yourself. Sure some people are best left alone but that is not the same as cutting the whole human race. Interesting that we rarely cut off the animal races??

As for the past, it is that. It seems to me that my recent learning has shown that not being able to let go is a sign that something isn't being accepted for what it is. It can be as simple as not allowing yourself to accept that you have a right to feel a certain way.

Was digging into Carach Angren last night. Amazing song titles. Do you know them? Not sure if they are wonderful or not. I keep comparing to older music that feels emotionally deeper.

🙂

Hi Glorianna

I think that Idealism is necessary or we have nothing to strive for. Everything has a cost so might as well aim for something we would prefer over the alternatives. Of course one must also learn to be reasonable or it is a fantasy or pipe dream.

As for death and what happens after, I am with Lao Tzu in thinking that it is unknown and unknowable and therefore of some small interest but not worth investing time and heartache into when there are far more useful things we could be doing, like making today better.

We would be best served never letting anything fester (except perhaps the compost pile). Acceptance in that I realized that I wasn't really accepting some emotions I had re my parents, upbringing & ex-partner. Once I allowed myself to accept that it was ok for me to feel that way simply because I did (and may well have had cause) then I suddenly felt more free in myself. Even better a few days later I met someone lovely.

As for finding new bands, it is a bit of a chore if you want things unlike what is on the radio but YouTuve is a decent place to start. As is somewhere like Google Play or Spotify. Or you go all in and look in Bandcamp at unsigned artists. You'll not like a lot but then you will stumble on something great and it is all worth it. My advice, if you like it buy straight away as it will likely not appear for you again. Wishlisting is ok but you tend to not buy as the moment is passed.

🙂

Hello @Fiz,

Not quite sure where this thread is going, so I'll just counter for the sake of it. I'm feeling rather alone and pissed off today so I thought ranting would be a better option than a bloodly bathtub. None of the stuff to come is in anyway backed by my actual opinion. Just take it as an exercise of discussion, if you will.

The want to achieve is not simply reserved for the idealistic minds. On the contrary, a bleak environment and pessimistic mind can locate the areas needed for improvement. Say during modern warfare, the idealistic ANZAC forces charged bravely into battle where their European allies stayed put. This led to a complete death toll for the troops in that particular battle. (WWI somewhere on the Eastern Front, but don't quote me on that) Not only was that charge ineffective and a toll on life, it was utterly unecessary as it did not provide cover or advance the line. So when idealism and bravery/ineptidue equate to death in this scenario and others, it is not the only thing to strive for. The logic of striving for an ideal is set up for failure if those ideals can not be met. It can be a tricky line to tread as idealistic thinking may not necessarily prepare for negative outcomes and thus easily take options towards their own demise. Pessimism offers a reality that is true, difficult, and a guided way of thinking. The act simply of aiming for something does not guarrentee it's success. In addition to this, idealism can lead to many problems if the cause in question was labelled as 'for the greater good' but in reality catered more towards inquality. For each individual's stance is not the same as that of their neighbour and personal preference may vary to the extent that neighbouring countries may hold differing perspectives on their idealistic view for their nation. In the case of Harry Potter (I missed the 4th movie on TV and don't know what to do now) the four houses have underlying backgrounds to the group. With the you know who crew and accompanying Slytherin house, there is more of a gathering towards a secular group taking control of the magical world and exterminating non-magical beings. This group was an idealistic bunch. Moreso than Harry Potter and his school's efforts to defend against them. The protagonist's motive was more reactive and desperate: to save his friends and destroy the baddie without regard to his own life. To some extent, there would have been the want of a harmonious world of magical and non-magical beings; however, the protagonist didn't act idealistically for idealism's sake.

Another -ism of interest is realism where there's a shift from striving for the improbable to striving towards a reachable goal. To have nothing to strive for is essentially nihilism, whereby nothingness may well be the goal of one's existence.

The world view of cost is interesting to explore as it could depend upon the definition of cost. Financial, casualty, time, or labour cost. Idealism fails drastically when taking on the following case. A bag of apples and food will sustain an adult person physically for a month, an Apple ipod is what the idealistic John Smith wants to acquire. John Smith uses all his excess income on food after paying rent, etc. fees and is barely getting by. So taking this scenario, the cost of Apple ipod comes at the cost of starvation. So this aim is fundamentially flawed as obtaining the material goods will lead to death. Now, if John Smith was influenced by realism, he would simply say, hey. What a nice thing. I want that but can't afford it now, so I'll have to slowly reduce my grocery spending and see where else I can crunch the numbers so I can eventually obtain the material good. In summary, idealism is not always the most healthy way of thinking.

Taoism is more to do with the natural way and seeking a lifestyle that is compatible with the notion of 'do no harm'. In this way, a lack of ambition and lack of goal serves to prevent disappointment and hence achieve goals, uninhibited by bad intentions. Eg. a ruler who wants status, glory and power and so kills his king (Macbeth), in place of a citizen who is raised as a soldier, rules the state in an emergency, and goes back to country life (Coriolanus). It's about living a meaningful life by not taking ambition too seriously as a life goal and being one with yourself. Modern Western thinking teaches how to critique and to question one's existence. Taoism is nonetheless influenced in someways by reincarnation of the spirit through the natural world after goodness in life. Although the focus is more on living a good life, not for the sake of a next life but rather for the goodness of being good. A very spiritual approach, how lovely. To me, death is death, and there is only the physical death, and after that, decay of the corpse. 😄

It's good to hear that you're moving through the stages towards acceptance! I am proud of you! I am very good at festering negative feelings. Not so much on positive ones, I've realised. I usually do just fine cutting off positive thoughts. I may have trust issues. Re: relationships since I just end things before there's even much of a chance to commit. It's strange though, because I don't think I can isolate a cause for that. My family & upbringing was safe and complicated and more recently a little strained due to drama but we got by and we mostly got on well. I am at a very low point where I want a partner simply for the sake of company and because I feel quite insecure and alone about dying alone. My response to this reaction is to coup myself up and hideout at home. I should go to a group salsa class or something to work off the anti-social vibe I've got going.

Life is pretty simple though. It's good. I just need to rearrange my life goals. Basically, I want a family, which is nigh impossible as I seem to be accumulating more and more medication with birth defect issues as side effects. I do feel like I'm running out of time to find a partner, which is totally invalid statistically, but I don't put myself out there. I think I'm becoming a mean person who doesn't realise it, which is actually worse because I almost seem to be pretending to be nice. It confuses me. I don't like to say that I'm part-time insane and bipolar and have lost my mind more than once and that that may be a contributing factor in my unfriendliness to strangers. In general, I don't like to explain myself, because I feel like it's not important and I am the best judge of myself. This doesn't come off well to others though. I've noticed this as I'm around more people in the workplace who seem to be affected by whether I smile or not. It's so strange. I really can't understand why it matters if my lips are in a straight line or not. I do my job well but I fear it'll be a case of being let go because I'm not personable or chipper.

Yikes! That endeThanks for chatting.

Hi @Glorianna

Sorry to hear you had a bad day. Let's not play bad games in the bathtub.

I have no plans for the conversation other than to converse. So you say what you want.

And you did say a lot but I see most of it is essentially all the same theme. It is a sort of Nihilism summed up perfectly by Bart Simpson; "Can't win, don't try". Of course, that is a perfectly circular proposition.

What you say about the WWI battle doesn't read like Idealism so much as Arrogance. Not the same things at all. The ideal is to win or at least minimize damage. Without support, the General was either bold or criminal. Of course, history will judge based on whether he won but I bet it lies in Arrogance.

People often hide their Nihilism under the Realism tag. SSDD. A common approach among Collectivist thinkers who use that to make anything be whatever they say it is (and that will change often). Any philosophy built around denying A=A scares me. The Taoism I read was LaoTzu himself; later stuff can be pretty odd so best left alone.

As for Apples vs iPods, Interesting that the choice you didn't allow for your protagonist was to earn more money. To improve himself to bring his desire within reach. That made your model world very limited indeed - with death the only option.

Yes, things really seem to have looked up for me. New GF and I shucked a Forum where I got less than I gave. And life being what it is I just got an email from someone I gave a lot of help to several years ago who responded by behaving unprofessionally; wanting me to give feedback on his new record. I have deleted. SSDD. I got better things to do. The new GF is a joy and seems totally perfect for me. I'll give her my attention as it comes back right.

Not saying that to rub anything in or sound like a Ra Ra Guy (Tony Robbins sort). I hope it shows you that things can happen when you let yourself get your ducks in a row.

I totally say yes to the idea of going to a dance class, or any other thing that interests you. I say start at 4-Step R&R as it is the simplest and then move to Salsa but if Salsa is IT for you then commit and give yourself over completely to getting the Basic into muscle memory so you can dance with anyone. Then get the courage to ask men to dance with you as they tend to be in short supply so you got to make that happen. No one should decline if they can see you will Follow (that makes the man feel good).

Two cents: 'partners to keep you company' is a really bad idea and will hold you back more than anything. It will prevent you from finding anyone really great. Sounds completely illogical but it always pans out that way. I have learned that the hard way. All those unhappy, dateless people on RSVP (I was one) are simply trying to get someone to fit instead of being themselves which allows the right one in. Do what you want in your life to make yourself happy (like dance class) and it will change.

As for work and chipper. I think the above advice is the same thing. Once you allow yourself to accept who (and how) you are then ducks will start to line up. That will let you out of your shell on your terms (as opposed to trying to be what you think other people want). That always smells like happy. People like to smell happy.

I hope this finds you better and helps you to find your way.

As for music, I just bought a Best Of "Triumph". If you are into Journey, Foreigner, Rainbow or even Bon Jovi then give it them a go. Not the greatest record ever but pretty solid Rock.

🙂

I think you are pretty special and Alice Cooper is cool too. You have a lot of great traits. Explore your uniqueness and talents because people out there need you. Remember to be ASSERTIVE, that is, it is fine to say NO!.

Look after yourself.

PS

The album "From The Inside" is one of my favourite albums. Alice wrote it when he was in a mental asylum.