Welcome To My Nightmare

Hi @Glorianna

R&R dancing is the original Jive as practiced in milk bars etc in the 50's. It is very simple and pretty easy to learn. This is the style

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YM55FigrYk

Be aware that what you see in movies with dips and throws is actually Hollywood Swing, similar but very unwelcome on a public floor as it gets dangerous.

Progressive? as in Prog Rock or Progressive Trance?

Yes it is a case of having let myself get in a bit of a hole from allowing myself to be dominated by trying to please/appease others. Bit of a family history of that from my grandparents', parents' and at least one of my brothers' relationships.

I would dearly love some praise and recognition LOL. This is the core of why people want to be a "star". The money and glamor are simply a reflection of that - and more often than not unhealthy. I only ever wanted a modest career with the respect of other musicians and knowledge that there were people out there eager for a new {Fiz} record. It would also be nice if friends (whatever they are) and family took some interest but that seems too much.

As for teaching, I have offered a few times on Gumtree but silence. In forums, the kids (who are often older than even I am) only want quick fixes like push Button X and you'll have a hit. When it turns out to be more complex they get shitty or disappear. I will say that I have also probably not been as committed to my dream as many would say I should have been. I make my art but after years of getting nowhere ran out of ideas or more likely courage. I now simply make my art with a vague sense of hope whilst I sell fruit (which is way better than cars these days).

INTERESTING THING: With my ex I often got super frustrated that she didn't really listen and her replies to what I said in a conversation felt tangential and I felt unheard - even worse in an argument. Of course, my circling back to my unacknowledged point made her angrier. Losing cycle that one.

I get mega irritated when people refuse to listen. I don't expect to be agreed with (even tho that is nice) but to at least be heard and acknowledged (which I always try to offer to others but maybe my Aspie bluntness is my undoing). When it seems like people refuse to hear my point I feel like I am being made irrelevant, dismissed - like I have no right to my ideas.

Recently I have been in conversations where exactly the same has happened and I have to admit I have been pretty firm in pointing out that the person was digressing and therefore hurtful. One was a scholarly political discussion and the fellow was mature enough that I could head him off and get back on topic till he acknowledged my point. The second was a lady at work over some environmentalist stuff. She came and apologized a few minutes later. Now today I have had the same in a Forum where I laid my idea out but all the responses (incl a snipe from a from a Mod) have been off-topic and contrary to the topic. I have posted to try to pull back on-topic (with no expectation of a good result).

Am I being jumpy, precious, overly Aspie-blunt/arrogant or simply in need of better people to hang with?

Thanks

🙂

@Glorianna

If you want to try dancing then there would be a R&R class near you. So long as you let yourself get the 1,2, Backstep pattern (and follow) you are set. Men are often in short supply but if you are friendly and show you will follow then men will ask you up.

Progressive Metal eh. You mean like Dream Theater? A lot of the modern stuff I struggle to get into as it seems more about showing off than saying something. So like you I prefer a song that says something - even if it is simple. I am still into Yes, ELP, early Deep Purple (like the Concerto for Band & Orchestra), Alan Parsons Project, and classic Metal like Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and anything with Dio singing. Right now Plex is playing me some Asia.

I have a fair bit of Country and there is some wonderful stuff; Old Hank Williams, the Georges Jones & Strait, Alan Jackson, Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Gary Allan... Just don't make me listen to Keith Urban.

As for Jazz, I have a few things that are more Pop like George Benson and Sade but the more complex stuff I have not delved into as much as I should.

I use a keyboard but couldn't say I was a player (or I would join a Country Band myself). I compose using software. My own music is pure Electronic Music and I commonly use the Space Music term. If you are familiar with acts like Jarre, Vangelis Tangerine Dream or Tomita then you are in my ballpark. I think that my music is probably a bit too complex for most people (want) to understand. Not lots of notes but ideas that are a perhaps a bit too abstract for most to take the time to make sense of. In a world where everything is over in 5 seconds anything that requires time is irrelevant.

I try not to argue but sadly part of the Aspie nature is to try to help people by putting their errors right. Most people would rather cling to their errors. Maybe even me? I am good with people on the surface but after that, it seems to get hard.

You are right that I shouldn't project. It is a danger when I don't really feel like I understand a situation so I mentally run through all the possibilities trying to find the most logical match. Of course, that can easily lead to paranoia. Sadly people don't always explain themselves clearly. And I know people commonly don't understand me, even tho I try to be very precise in what I say. Sometimes I think that precision is something that puts people off.

Good things yesterday: helped my brother whilst he is away, went for a walk on the beach, wrote an article on music, worked on a piece which seems to put me at the end of writing for an album, and watched Big Hero 6.

Thanks for chatting

🙂

@Glorianna

Don't feel bad about Dream Theater as I find them a great disappointment. Right now dipping into Opeth's Sorceress album. Don't feel bad about darker music. I think that darker music can be great, so long as it is life-affirming in totality. I would far rather listen to Cannibal Corpse than Adele or many of those other "artists" who seem to hate music and life itself.

This Opeth seems ok. Personally, I like a little more bombast in stuff like this, something like Candlemass' Epicus Doomicus Metallicus album or King Diamond The Eye. Don't love any of their other albums but in both of these cases, I think they got something special with those records. I will need to listen to more of this Opeth stuff and check the other names.

If you like the sludgy side of Opeth then check out Cathedral's Forest of Equilibrium or if you are feeling very grim, Winter's Into Darkness which I think is the scariest album ever made. Both available on YT.

I think that many people these days never get past being teenagers in their view of the world. It's like they don't ever fully realize that other people exist, think & feel just like they do. And yes their sense of logic and common sense would be hilarious if not so scary and frustrating. I'm glad I didn't have kids.

I think you are right and have been thinking that myself today. Why should I care what people who I don't respect think of me. Why should I try to get their approval. It is silly. I had some lovely conversations today with some of the regulars who I commonly haven't spoken to much. They were such lovely people and it felt so nice to just feel part of the conversation and of value to them in those moments. I shall try to focus only on people and situations in which I feel like I am building a better life and let the others go. That should go my list of achievements I think.

Big Hero 6 is very nice and I will watch it again for sure. Haven't seen Sausage Party, I hear it is very crass. I did see Inside Out which I think is just wonderful. Fingers crossed that should be on TV soon as it is about a year old.

🙂

Hi @Glorianna

No worries. I have most all of the Harry Potter (except maybe the last). While I love the concept, like Rord of the Lings, I find the movies seem to lack that something special. Won't mean I won't watch them again sometime in the future.

Yes I guess we all do. I know my ex didn't even ant to listen when I started to consider that I may be Aspie. I get that in some ways as that changed her idea of what I was and to be blunt probably she didn't want to explain to her kids that her partner was now a "head-case". I don't think she would have every really wanted to take time to understand that there are some ways in which I as an Aspie I think differently from her very emotive Neuro Typical manner.

I think through every change we shed some and hopefully attract some other people (and things). My 2 cents, is best not to fight that. Friends will work on a friendship, others won't.

🙂

@Fiz Look at me! I'm on a computer! Excuse my excitement, I just type at an infuriatingly slow speed so there may not be very much content. Too many people end up dead in Harry Potter, with it being the safest place in the world and all. I think it's a point that's often overlooked by young children wanting to be accepted into Hogwarts. Unless that's the appeal. Disconcerting, really.

My behaviour is odd in that I want to be treated as an average functioning human despite sometimes presenting severe MI effects. Things that result in withdrawing from my studies, society, and workplaces. It's sad to think that so much emotional energy can be utterly wasted on human relationships but I guess the silver lining would be that every person draws from their past experiences and are able to move on. Or backwards. Hopefully we don't have too much of that in Australia, if only symbolically. Oh dear, spell check doesn't seem to be available as a function here so you'll witness all my errors.

It is definately true that good people gravitate towards their kind so I'll work on taking a chance on people again. Letting go of the past is really no fun at all. It's almost comforting to ruminate on the lives of people you knew well once who are no longer relevant to your day to day existence. I am taking your advice on as a little challenge to myself to shed people from my mind. I will post this and hope for the best, formatting wise.

Glorianna