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Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

NikNikSenior Contributor

Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

Supporting and being there for others when they are going through a rough time is one of the most selfless things we can do. However, we can't be effective if our own mental health is compromised.

During this Topic Tuesday we will tackle questions like:

- How do I create and enforce my own boundaries without hurting the person I'm supporting?

- What are the different forms of support people find helpful?

- What can I do when supporting someone impacts on my own mental health?

248 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

Nevyn134Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

@Smc They have family that they can spend time with. And I can trust that for that time they will be ok. Trouble is their family has little ability or seeming want to adapt or change the behaviours they have that drive him down into his issues. Rather it is like they deliberately pick at them, drawing them to the front of his mind until when I return he is already in a worse starting point then when I left.

I don't know what to do. Unless I am pulling them up or watching that they don't drop, pretty much any small thing can start their spiral. Even just their mother misgendering them once in conversation.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

KurraSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

@Spookytookims
I use the Serenity prayer to guide me through decisions that I need to make here and particularly in my working life. Following those three steps has helped me immeasurably particularly with any misplaced guilt.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

CheerBearSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

I agree @soul, although sometimes I think it's useful to remember that unexpected things can and do come up for people. It's very hard to feel let down but I know for some people, (me included here), it's also very hard to feel like we've let people down.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

@NikNik I find in my job that there are many times that 'people' just want to be 'heard' and no response is necessary. It is when the conversation 'turns' to being asked for advice or they are seeking help that it becomes most problemmatic. I will offer an 'ear' and let them know that they have been heard by paraphrasing what they have said (active listening) and then suggest the appropriate 'services' or 'people' to go to for extra support. If they continue with the 'conversation' then it is essential that you are straight forward and relay that you are not qualified to 'help' but there are other 'people' that you can recommend to them that are. The straight forward and honest approach then protects bith you and them.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

utopiaSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

For those living as carers. I think it would be good for the person with MI -to also have a self care plan. What can they themselves do, to refocus away from anxious thoughts etc.
Putting some of the -responsibility of their own care - back onto the person living with MI.
Standingup to the doctors - hhospital and saying NO - that the patient can not come home now. That YOU won't be available to look after them.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

OdetteContributor

Re: e: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

Thanks for the diagram @NikNik, I think I am going to print it out and write down what I'm going to do for each element.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

kristinSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

I hear you @Nevyn134, sorry I can't "like" that situation, it must be heart rending for both of you. I wish I could offer some help or suggestions. What I can offer is a heartfelt prayer that you will find/connect with helpful help soon. That sort of burden needs to be shared.
Kindest regards, Kristin

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

Nevyn134Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

@kristin Thank you.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

soulSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

Probably my biggest saving grace is my dog. She sleeps on my bed and comforts me when I have bad dreams or panic attacks, she's my reason for getting up in the morning and going for a walk; likewise in the afternoon. She doesn't judge me and is a really good listener. Patting her is very soothing and just her presence offers me the company I need to get through the day.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

KurraSenior Contributor

Re: Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

@NikNik
My main focus with self care at the moment is ensuring I get adequate sleep. I'm back to work tomorrow so because I'm looking after myself I'm off to bed. G'night all. 💕🎶
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Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

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