Learning how to be with your feelings?

Hi @Meatloaf

Have you come across Immanuel Journaling? I haven't used it in a structured way (perhaps I should) but I like its approach. If you're not religous perhaps you could imagine yourself in dialogue with a wise, kind and benevolent friend.

I sometimes write myself notes that I later shred, but I've been forgetting the compassionate feedback. Thanks for reminding me.

Thanks @Dimity I haven't heard of that but I'll look into it. I don't have a faith, but I think I could work it into a kind of IFS framework.

Good luck @Meatloaf . You should be able to google a pdf of a worksheet template with prompts.

Hi@Meatloaf

The avoidance you are describing is normal for trauma. I haven't heard of the study you did but I have heard of exposure therapy and usually done after EMDR therapy. I too suffer from Cptsd.

I am seeing a therapist that works through victims services. I applied through victims services to see a psychologist and it's covered by them. It covers 21 hours of therapy. You can also apply for compensation. You can contact victims services in your local area.

Hi @Meatloaf is this the sort of thing you're looking for?: https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/dbt-tipp.

They are the more "heavy duty" grounding techniques for relief from distress in the moment. The basics are at: https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/support-toolkit/techniques-and-guides/finding-relief-through-grounding-techniques.

Apart from the trial, are you seeing any sort of therapist?

Thanks for the resources @Radder

It's not quite what I'm looking for. I am *very* good at managing and disconnecting from big feelings to keep myself safe, but not with processing them so that I can move through them naturally.

For example, if you're angry, there are healthy ways to process anger like yelling into a pillow etc. The PE therapist said that emotions ask something of you, like she said that grief is asking for connection. I feel like there has to be resources that guide you in the right direction when you're having a big feeling. Like if you're angry yell into a pillow, if you're sad reach out to connect with someone. A resource like that would be helpful to me because doing those things is not intuitive to me, and while disconnecting from the feeling keeps me safe, it also keeps me stuck.

I'm inbetween therapists at the moment. The PE was a two week intensive, and for the last three years I've been doing EMDR but we ended our work due to dissociation that the practitioner couldn't shift. Next up I'm looking at IFS, just a matter of finding a practitioner who I can afford that is confident working with folks with my complex cocktail of comorbitities.

Thanks for the clarification @Meatloaf. I'm not aware of a single resource on how to work through each type of feeling. If you have a #1 standout issue you'd like to work through to start with, perhaps the community may have some suggestions.

IFS sounds like a promising therapy for what you are experiencing.

Hi@Meatloaf

From what you are describing it sounds like your body did not feel safe during EMDR that's why you are dissociating. I hope your therapist adjusted the pace or went back to establishing safety. It really sounds like your body was not ready. Until you learn safety and your body feels safe for EMDR, it won't work and you cannot process your emotions properly. This can take many many months before you are ready for EMDR. If you are still dissociating whilst trying to let those emotions pass through I am positive that your body is not ready and that you might have been rushed through the process which never works. It is a gradual, slow process to regulate your nervous system takes a long time to learn safety. IFS is normally integrated in the therapy from a trauma psychologist. I suggest you find a psychologist that is experienced in trauma therapy. As mentioned before Victim's services will cover the cost of the trauma psychologist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvtYi1WjAe8

Maybe this is relevant? @Meatloaf I always felt my feelings, but did not have words for them. Nor did I understand everything that was going on around me and what my feelings actually meant (crazy childhood and marriage) . I am a work in progress about it all .... Done heaps of different modalitites. We all need to work with what seems to resonate and make sense.

I find it interesting she said ... she got into acting to help learn about feeling.

Dissociation is a fancy word that can mean many things.

I am trying to be gentle with my journey of feeling emotions.

Good luck

This is what my therapist was talking about, and this video has a link to guided exercises you can do to embrace an emotion! Thank you @Appleblossom 😊