Son (22) with schizophrenia

hello @Former-Member Thank you for reminder self care

probably doesnt count but I had appointment at dentist. to cut long story short (saving you from reading a story book) diagnosis changed once I was laying on dentist chair, about 6 injections later that tooth originally to be levelled off at bottom was discovered to have rare vertical split down centre needed to be removed. more injections lost count. much hard tugging most came out... another injection...eventually all including roots. one tooth split down the middle two roots at bottom of it, one root had cyst which would have turned to infected abscess if not removed. Whilst returning to waiting room to pay bill and make another appointment, nausea and faintness came over me. 2 hours later, husband had been called, dental nurse giving me sugary drink to sip, dentist checking on me repeatedly, moved to staff lunch room, back to dental chair to lay down, wet towel on head, head lowered below body on chair. felt a complete fool.

low blood pressure had lowered and body had gone into shock. husband had to leave job and collect me take me home. early evening both drove back to get my car (half hour trip each way)

older son rang to find out why had I not replied to text msgs sent earlier re info he required to go to freedom of information records re mental health team where he had cto in this state.

I replied sorry, am in pain at moment, still some numbness at part from hole in gum killing me. managed to have reasonably long talk about psychiatry, medication, public health system, old time electric shock treatment. all going well until I mentioned that i could not comment on just having holistic treatment for cancer as I had not experienced cancer. (bearing in mind that my sisters husband died despite chemo, my sister survived had chemo and many other friends had passed away) i then said well i dont have to agree with you on everything can we just agree to disagree. I was then told off for screaming at him which i never do. i have a very soft voice, which might have sounded slightly strained or anxious due to extreme pain from dental work. I discussed this with my psychiatrist today and he said that he might have gone from feeling comfortable talking to me to being overwhelmed with other voices, noises in his head. He hung up the phone on me when i said that i could not talk any more as was in pain, could we continue discussion tomorrow.

i was left feeling mad, in pain, guilty, anxious. All I had done was try to be there for him whilst I was in great pain.

So I just wanted to write this down as even though he does not live with me 24/7 and I have not experienced this for as long as some others. My pain, my grief, my fears are valid and just as real. They are just different. It is extremely difficult to try to fill all of his needs in one phone call at a time when i dont know when he will react, or how, or how long i have to talk or whether i will ever hear from l him again.l

Just needed to vent. This is not directed at anyone in particular. However should anyone be thinking this, hopefully they will read my rant and rave and gain some insight.

Dental nurse just rang me to see if I was okay and tell me that dentist has said if he gets cancellation he will fit me in sooner. I leave for overseas for 8 weeks in 23 days time. So care and consideration at dental surgery was fabulous.

Rant and rave needed as I have a sense that I have at times said things in a way where they have not been understood or that I have been judged. My response to this is that at no time in the past or future is it my intention to upset anyone. I do however intend to be honest and be myself.

This whole scenario with my son on top of my own illnesses and difficulties with family are all taking their toll again. So I will be only posting on a few threads. not sure which ones. living in the now.

hello @Grasshopper3

dont worry about your ex partner. he is your ex and with an attitude like his you are better off without him.

work is work and they did not handle it well.

perhaps it was just a bad day for everyone.

back yourself up though as far as if any other bullying happens keep records of everything, details, dates, forward copies to your personal email and then delete on work system.

yes you are human and good management recognise that.

show them how good you are.

@Grasshopper3, you sound like a real champion, right at the top of the pile having to do all the work and the caring, this is tough gruelly work that from time to time you would need a break from yourself... im very new to this game, but i find it borderline cruelty that there is nothing in place from the psych, medical government sude of things to do something real and help you... i look at you with such high regard for you understanding of the illness and responsibility as a good person to take the carer role on by yourself while everyone falls down, it sounds like you doing an awsome job, but @Grasshopper3 you should be getting some help from the industry, you are trying to do your job and there job and there not there pitchin in and doing there bit... showin they care, showin there duty of care...

look after yourself sometime too, they aint going to be knockin at the door trying to ever help you and it is a long hard slog, the schitso illness will be still there if you need a day or two if you need the odd day off to reflect and get strong again, but if you work yourself into the ground and cant help, there is no back up at the moment if you drop off... There should be but there aint

@Former-Member I read a few posts here and there from you tonight, you know your stuff and i can feel your goodness radiating through the forums, im in awe of you..... And im feeling inspired to keep going with my situation,, so you not only helping me, which filters down to my boys and my patner all benifiting from your good work, i hope i cn repay the favour one day... even the dog , teh bloody dog somehow will be better for your work you doing