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Son (22) with schizophrenia

Son (22) with schizophrenia

Living with someone who suffers from schizophrenia is very difficult. Even medicated it seems he lives in a different world and stares a lot whilst smoking cigarettes like a steam train.
Sleeps during the day, spooks around at night.
Any advice about healthy diet, less coffee and smokes, is ignored.
He will never live a productive life.
We've lost family members close to us on the way because of his behaviour and them not understanding mental illness.
Ofcourse I worry about our future.
I need to be single as no other man can live with us.
I need to work full time to provide a roof over our heads and pay the bills. Without me, he'll be homeless, jobless and suicidal as his paranoia would kick in, specially when he thinks the meds are only given to him as he is a guinea pig and 'they' are trying to change his DNA...
I've always wanted children but no one never told me how tough it would be if a mental illness strikes the 'Brady bunch' family image with a thunderbolt.
A medal to anyone who cares for someone suffering mental illness.
They need all the help and support they can get. They deserve better too. Mental illness you don't see from the outside, my son looks like a healthy good looking young man but has no future. Maybe with support and someone pushing him out of his shell but some have tried and given up.
I have given up a marriage and another 7 years old relationship and noe bought a small unit to care for my son, indefinite. We have no other family here as Migrated here in 1987.

My love for my son is very deep and I am so proud of him he went to hospital last year and still takes his depot shot every month. However, I feel anxious and worry all the time. He has applied for DSP (disability pension) but he tells me if he gets rejected, and 'they' want him to work, he will stop the depot needle. It takes his motivation and energy away, He knows he can't work 8-5pm, neither with or without meds.
My good sense of humour is slowly fading but where there's life, there's hope, right?
Thanks for reading my story.

470 replies

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In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Hope it all goes well @Grasshopper3
I think as loved ones we worry how changes in meds will go.

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@patientpatient@Sophia1

Started cleaning his room, but stopped when tempted to touch his broken stuff...

broken specs, phones, cups, clothes with holes in them.

I should concentrate on him, not his 'stuff'.

Would you be tempted too, to spring clean his room?

He's doing ok btw, still in observation, has his own room in a quiet ward, we're really lucky.

There's also a very 'noisy' ward, he wouldnt have lasted there...

Grasshopper3

Grasshopper3

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Will asking permission to clean his room work @Grasshopper3 ?

I made our kids rooms their own once they were pre-teen ..... asked their consent to vac and dust in there and left their things alone otherwise.

In hindsight I can see that was an excellent move in relation to our current circumstances.

In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

@Grasshopper

Just how bad is it??? I am probably not the best person to ask as I am not very good at housework and the decluttering of things that got out of hand at our place is continuing at a slow but steady rate.

Is your son good at bringing his laundry etc out?

Perhaps asking if he would like sheets changed and clothes washed ... if he is amenable deal with all those that are not behind closed doors ... holey or not ... perhaps all bed linen could be dealt with and clean clothes neatly stacked on bed.

Can you vacuum around things? If your son is not one given to tidying up I would imagine there could be a bit of grime build up.

I wish you all the best ...

In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

I always know how my hubby is feeling by the state of his bedside table and his study. Toooo many books half read and gets very grotty and unkept. I don’t touch any of it until I know he is feeling better and the mess becomes annoying to him. I wait till he takes the dog for a walk and get stuck into cleaning it all up. He isn’t interested in doing it but loves walking in and it’s like a new skate to work with pride. Somehow it’s like a sign that he is well again and he quietly appreciates me doing it for him as it’s too hard for him. I think it comes from him being homeless in his late 20s. All the best.

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Sophia1@Carlachris@patientpatient@eudemonism

I have washed his bedlinen and changed his sheets, will vacuum and dust and left his 'stuff'.

The rule is, he has to do his own washing and he has been washing his clothes but his bedlinen, rarely. It's just the broken bits, he seems to be wanting to keep them. Broken cup in plactic bag, broken phones, leads, chargers, just stuff with no further use. I better let it be.

His dad, who lives overseas, will fly over as his visa is running out. He has asked me to pick him up from airport and bring him to his parcel of land, two hours from where my son and I live.

I do it as he is father of my son, but there will be issues arising from him being here, chaos - here we come.

My son btw has gone through testing of heart, longs, blood in hospital and will start new meds today. He is getting pretty bored there already so I go and see him now.

Take care of you

Grasshopper3

In response to: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Hi @Grasshopper3 ...., 👋

Your son may have an intention of fixing the broken things ...... so when he is at home and more stable, maybe give him some superglue and offer a place (with newspaper down) where he can glue things back together if that’s what he wants.

Suggest that you or he drop in to a phone store and see about getting the broken phones fixed or traded in, or they may tel him they have no further use and they will take care of disposing of them for him.

He may be needing support to either repair things or let them go.

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

hello @Grasshopper3

only noticed your tag on other thread this morning... thank you

yes your son is very brave...

I also believe that he is very committed and focussed on improving his health....wanting to have more control over his life...

this to me is an incredible step forward....this will be his greatest coping mechanism...

so many get lost in the delusions and fear all authorities...their poor experiences when detained also threatens their ability to trust..

I hope that all of the staff attending to him are reinforcing his bravery and courage...

As for his room...that is his territory...his personal..private world...

broken stuff might have a different meaning...representation to him...it might tell a story...be part of a personal experience that he would not want touched....

I think this is respect as they are adults with their own privacy...their own personal space...their own belongings..

You know your son...your communication with him is strong....ask him....be specific that you just want to check to see if there is any leftover food that would be a hygiene issue...mention changing the sheets..also hygiene...personally I would not talk about any of his belongings..alluding to the fact that you have already been in his room...this might affect his paranoia and trust...

he might not welcome his room having been entered if not asked....

I also think this way demonstrates to them that they have rights and deserve respect...are thought of in that way..

this message might come after your decision...so just ignore if is the case...

trust your own intuition as his mum xxx

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

hello @Grasshopper3

sorry about late response...crossing with your latest post..

is brilliant that they are being very thorough....need to be if is a trial drug..is that what you said?

I hold so much hope for you both re this opportunity....

you are both in a special place in my heart...as always...this I have told you from the beginning...

Does son need to know about father? as he caused issues before? is father intending on visiting? you can mention to the treating doctor if you feel strongly enough that this could affect his health...your son's health is of utmost concern here....

father dropping by on vacant land as his visa has run out can bide his time...

Team Colgate are saying prayers for beautiful son and his mum xxx

In response to: Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Re: Son (22) with schizophrenia

Hello @Grasshopper3

hoping things running smoothly..

do they have any programmes or interests that he can be inviolved.in. Philatelic waiting?

keep in touch 💚♥️💜

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