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DogMan's Journal

DogMan's Journal

I seems that weekend coffee threads are a thing of the past. Which were my main space to share about myself

I thought I'd start my own thread. My username is a reference to the AFL team. I don't have a pet dog. I love dogs, but live in a small unit with 2 cockatiels (Collectively known as "The Chook Mans")

I've been in the mental health care system since 2003. At that time, I really hadn't seen any doctor for 12 years. The family who adopted me in my adolescence never once took me to a doctor

2003, during my honours year in a Fine Arts degree, I presented at uni health services in a mess. I said that I was embarrassed to be there, I requested a female doctor. So I think they assumed I had issues with my junk. And she quite taken aback when I mentioned psychotic symptoms

I was referred to CATT. Lots of it was done by phone. I had an in person appointment with the CMHT. The psychiatrist there said she suspected Schizophrenia. We negotiated no hospital as long as I gained weight prior to next appointment (I had some funny ideas about food and farming)

The antipsychotics made me very hungry. So that was rather easy

I did manage to graduate. My 4th year marks weren't great. Then I sort of accidentally met someone who knew someone looking for casual staff in childcare. So I applied and worked in childcare. Progressing up through ful time permanent staff

I moved a lot in Canberra, but did okay for years

2009 I had a big relapse. I took 6 weeks off work. I did have that much leave accrued. Since I rarely took leave. But when I returned, the dynamic changed and I was on the outer. My job became untenable

I moved to regional victoria and enrolled in a Master of IT (A conversion masters. So similar to undergrad but shorter. Which is possible if you have a degree in another discipline)

Mid way through, my housemate left chips cooking on the stove and accidentally burned my house down

So I took an early exit point of a Postgraduate Certificate. I contacted my mum, who I had had very little to do with since I was adopted in the early 90s (It's a long story)

I briefly stayed with mum by the beach

My sister got divorced around the same time. So I found somewhere to live with my sister in Melbourne. It didn't last long, the landlord developed the property into apartments

A period of couch surfing and homelessness followed

My (bio) mum's health had deteriorated and doctors recommended she didn't live alone. We moved into Social Housing together. We moved here in 2012, mum died in 2024, which was apparently her record for staying in one place. I'm still in the same unit and it's my record too

Lockdown broke me. I've seen various outpatient services. And professionals have played "Musical Chairs" with my diagnosis specifics. They all agree on Schizophrenia and Seasonal Affective Disorder. But other additions include OCD, PTSD, OSDD, ASD and others

I've been with my current psychologist since 2022. Which is a record for me. I've had longer dealings with psychiatrists, but not psychologists. I don't currently have a psychiatrist. But my GP formerly worked in psychiatry in the UK

My Psychologist is trying to get me into a psychiatrist. They keep deeming me "Outside their scope". I'm currently being referred to the local CFMHS Forensic Service. The "Harm OCD" is currently being viewed as actually potentially dangerous

I do a monthly zoom peer group for voice hearers. I think next Monday is our next meeting

My team want me to apply for the NDIS. They actually signed me up without my consent in 2018. I was grandfathered onto the scheme from it's predecessors. I opted out straight away

So that's a bit about me

@fluttershy1 @taali @cuddlebear @chasingsunsets @missgremlin @dimity @appleblossum @nala2022 @bow @captain24 @jynx @smilinggecko

I don't really know who to tag. I've generally aimed for active people who are generally nice to me

Picture of chook mans:

122 replies

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In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

@Cuddlebear I'm blind in one eye and often have trouble with the other. It's hard coping sometimes. It's very limiting but doesn't fit the definition of low vision.

In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

Thanks for offering your support @Cuddlebear I get very depressed. I'm bipolar 1 with likely cptsd and very worrying family issues, but socially isolated. I'll remember to reach out more.

I'm glad you worked out the favourites and subscriptions.

In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

@Dimity Definitions. Ah those definitions. Thing is being legally blind in one eye is being legally blind. Your other eye is likely to have sight loss and I imagine is over working to try and compensate which is a very very hard thing. I don’t know if your on NDIS but if not Guide Digs and vision Australia will provide free services. Anyone with that type of vision loss would need some help. Coupled with mental illness it’s even harder. I’m not trying to label you. I just want you to know you would be very much welcomed into the community. Vision Australia have a free to join library full of audio books too. It’s online.

In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

@Dimity Yes please do reach out to me and tag me any time. I want to support you. I really like you and consider you a friend.

I don’t have Bipolar but I can empathise and be there for you. I do have complex complex ptsd and the usual things that come with it like severe depression, panic, anxiety and I have terrible flashbacks, nightmares and sleep paralysis. Last year I developed anhedonia after that badly done taper. Recently I’ve developed agoraphobia and disassociation. Family stuff is very very hard. It can be brutal. I totally understand isolation and I’m sorry you too are isolated.

In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

@Cuddlebear unfortunately Vision Australia told me they only help people with NDIS or MyAgedCare funding. Otherwise it's more than $300 an hour to talk to anyone there.

In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

Our messages crossed @Cuddlebear .

Thankyou, appreciated.

We have quite a bit in common re mental health experiences.

I've been gaslit over my "good" eye but at times the vision is very poor. I've had many problems with both eyes and multiple surgeries...

In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

@cuddlebear I opted out of the NDIS because they were like the proverbial "Bull in a china shop"

At the time (2018) I did NOT want a psychologist, but they would not take "No." for an answer and demanded that I see a psychologist

Autonomy is important to me. Paramount, really

In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

@DogMan79 Hello my friend. How are you? I totally understand body autonomy and being able to choose what you need is so very important. As humans we know what we need best. I’m so glad you had the strength to say no.

In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

"Fight Club" tonight (Zoom Peer Group for Hearing Voices)

Then an early appointment tomorrow

In response to: DogMan's Journal

Re: DogMan's Journal

Does the connection help @DogMan79 ? I've pondered support groups. Not hearing voices though.

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