Hello

Love that you care about animals and care enough through depth of study. @Dimity. Good you are keeping on keeping on.

For so long I really didn't have many humans in my life apart from my son, students and classical choir people. That's why this forum mattered so much to me. I just couldn't get close to those people, despite being diplomatic and professional, with a few exceptions, because my family life had been so difficult and different. The quality of music helped but COVID and the travel put an end to it. Now, mostly I stay closer to home. Even in the recorder music community, the Normie privilege is tiresome, though there are exceptions and I have not completely withdrawn, but stepped back a bit.

Church choir sang this morning. Simple anthem, but conductor brought her violinist son, he's a lovely player, so it raised it a level.

Sending you warm regards

Gently Bently 🍎

I'm sorry it's been so hard to connect and relate @Appleblossom . I've also found it extraordinarily difficult but blame myself. Although my psychologist has identified maladaptive schemas arising from severe deprivation.

Please excuse me, I'm struggling at present so even more tongue tied and brain fogged than usual.

@Chasingsunsets I had a strange bird on my fence - like you I think I had a young butcherbird. Mottled dark plumage all over, very scruffy with sticking out feathers, and quite a distinctive call and beak etc.

@Dimity

I also probably have plenty of maladaptive schemas from severe deprivation. I tended to be too trusting, (like stuck in being 6 yo) and am working at finding a more balanced open, mature, but not too trusting approach. One lady told me off for having a scarcity mindset, another tells me off for having too much stuff. Coming down harder on myself has never seemed wise, as I had younger people to consider, like siblings and children. I try and own my limitations. I am at the point, that I realise people cant cope with my story as it is too complicated, without really blaming them, but some bitterness might leak out. Mostly I am trying to be good enough company, rather than too much deep and meaningful. Its always hard when they share about family. I dont know what to say, and am careful. I try and find bridging topics. Oh, we both have an orange carpet story, or travelled overseas in the same year.

I liked Schema and IFS as theories, but not actually had a person qualified in them, beyond a few passing comments. I would probably need long term attention to them. My way is researching online and trying to distill any free wisdom from what is available and apply it to me and try and gain insight.

Hugs 🫂 @Appleblossom . You're not too much, just complicated and nuanced, with a big backstory that slowly emerges - no wonder superficial interactions can be awkward or feel shallow. And people are usually so engrossed with the detail or humdrum of their own lives they don't realise how deeply affected, even wounded, others might be.

You were abandoned yet deeply loved. And you reciprocated that love, but were unable to save your father or siblings. You weren't responsible for your husband or stepdaughter's problems or personalities, and your children have had their own battles. You seem to have survived with courage and integrity. With pain but substantially intact. And able to navigate life and find meaning and connection. Cherish that.

I rwad today music engages every brain structure and network. Relish it.

For you @Chasingsunsets not a good phone photo but one of our little ravens.

Evening @Dimity how are you going? Love the pic of your little raven and interesting you saw maybe a juvenile butcherbird too! I like how you refer to it as mystery birds when I don’t know what they are, think that will stick hehe ☺️.

Hi @Chasingsunsets nice to see you. Heard mystery bird calls today that I think were the butcherbirds. They have quite a big repertoire.

I've slacked off on my exercises lately, must get back to them... when I feel up to it. Hope you're going ok and getting your walks with Indi.

Melbourne weather is all over the place... fairly typical getting close to the spring equinox.

Hey there @Dimity have you heard of the spangled drongo? They copy other bird sounds like the butcher bird and have some cool sounds themselves. Not the nicest of birds they each finches 🙃. No good here unfortunately probably the worst I have been in a very very long time. It’s ok though. How’s your day been?

ps sorry for the blue hyperlink text 😔

Sorry to hear it's so bad for you atm @Chasingsunsets . I'm not too good either but maybe we can prop each other up.

I've heard the spangled drongo name but knew nothing about them. Fascinating.

Sending best wishes