Riding a wave

But I'm not allowed to talk about it here @Zoe7. It's a dirty little secret that I'm not allowed to talk about. The deal is supposed to be that I can talk about it elsewhere...but I'm being shut down there too. This is the problem - I keep getting more and more shut down and the trauma gets bigger and bigger. All I want to do is TALK about it. How can an organisation that claims to be trauma informed not understand that? I understand that mistakes happen and it's ok - even when the mistakes are monumental and entirely foreseeable. But why oh why oh why oh why can't we TALK ABOUT IT so that I can process it and move towards healing from it. WHY can't we do that?

I am presuming it is because it would not be safe for others to know what happened @Phoenix_Rising and that the Foum and HC are 2 separate entities whereby what happens for one should not be discussed in the other. I know this is very hard for you - and others - to be able to process and deal with - I do know that but I also know that the safety of other members is important too.

I presume that you being able to talk about it here would cross those boundaries and the consequences may be that others may also not reach out for that support.

I am thinking .... without knowing the ins and outs of it all .... that this is a situation where perhaps a mediating body is a good idea ..... someone who can be brought in to allow a talk-talk that is not of the HC .... an independent person via a phone service who is available to talk-talk.

Perhaps this can be someone who is informed about the situation and who will allow you to simply tak about it without trying to offer any solutions, blame, suggestions, re-framing etc.

In business and in law these mediating services are available. Are they also available amongst the medical services field ?

Trying to think outside the current parameters here ....

@Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member @NikNik

@Zoe7 you have no idea what has happened over the past few months. You are making assumptions about something you know nothing about. This isn't helping. I'm feeling more dirty and more disgusting by the moment. It's just like being back at the church where everyone had to believe that there was a very good reason for the things to happen that happened. They HAD to believe it, because the alternative was too difficult to comprehend. I so very very badly wish I could tell, but to do so would result in me being banned from Forum Land. It's a dirty little secret. Shhhhhhh don't tell Phoenix_Rising.

I'm going to step away from the computer now and do what I need to do to not die tonight.

I do not matter,

I'm only one person,

Destroy me completely,

Then throw me away.

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@Faith-and-Hopewrote:

I am thinking .... without knowing the ins and outs of it all .... that this is a situation where perhaps a mediating body is a good idea ..... someone who can be brought in to allow a talk-talk that is not of the HC .... an independent person via a phone service who is available to talk-talk.

Perhaps this can be someone who is informed about the situation and who will allow you to simply tak about it without trying to offer any solutions, blame, suggestions, re-framing etc.

In business and in law these mediating services are available. Are they also available amongst the medical services field ?

Trying to think outside the current parameters here ....

@Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member @NikNik

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@Faith-and-Hope that would help so so SO much. I am super sure TTT would be open to supporting a process like that. It would help SO much. It would help so so so SO much.

I know it is affecting you as well as others here @Phoenix_Rising and that is all that I need to know

I'm so sorry it is all so very, very wrong, @Phoenix_Rising.

I hear you @Phoenix_Rising .... you need a voice .... you need to be able to talk and I appreciate that you have said that you don’t want to revisit the situation to aggrivate it .... you just want an avenue where you can talk to a person and be heard for the feelings that you have that you need to express.

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@Faith-and-Hopewrote:

I hear you @Phoenix_Rising .... you need a voice .... you need to be able to talk and I appreciate that you have said that you don’t want to revisit the situation to aggrivate it .... you just want an avenue where you can talk to a person and be heard for the feelings that you have that you need to express.

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@Faith-and-Hope That is so so SO much it!!!!! Mistakes happen. I am not angry. I just need help to process it. I don't need justifications or explanations or talk of lessons learned or how to "moving forward." I just need to genuinely authentically non-defensively be listened to and heard and to hear those invaluable words "we made a mistake and we are sorry."