Riding a wave

I do not know what happened and do not need to @Phoenix_Rising but I also know that whatever happened there must be a very good reason why that particular form of contact has been discontinued for you - it super sucks but it is not going to change the situtaion you are in - the contact is not going to be re-instated just because you want it to be - sadly the world does not work like that. What we can say is that we are 100% sitting here with you and listening - and that will continue as long as you need us little turtle.

@Phoenix_Rising wanted to let you know that I'm sending you an email shortly.

I feel sick @Zoe7. There IS a good reason - but I'm not allowed to tell. You don't know what has happened. No one knows because I'm not allowed to tell. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH don't tell Phoenix_Rising. I feel sick.

You don't need to tell @Phoenix_Rising - all we need to know is that it is affecting you in a massive way - the actual 'what' doesn't matter - your feelings sround it do and we are listening to your feelings around this and not going anywhere.

YOU MATTER little turtle

Absolutely @Zoe7 absolutely.

I feel for you @Phoenix_Rising

(edited)

@Zoe7 I feel dirty and sick. You are assuming I did something wrong. TTT knows the full story and she says it's not ok. She tried to advocate for me. She and my GP know the full story and they both believe I am not the one at fault here.

I am DEFINITELY NOT assuming you did something wrong @Phoenix_Rising but that something WENT wrong. That does not mean you or anyone else is at fault but whatever it is that has happened has caused this outcome - that sucks anyway you look at it because you have lost something important to you and that is communication (talk talk) / support from somewhere other than TTT and your GP. We will continue to support you though little turtle.

I feel disgusting. How can I be back in a situation where I am keeping a dirty little secret? Shhhhhhh don't tell Phoenix_Rising. I want to tell...but I'm not allowed. I feel dirty and disgusting. I want TTT. I want TTT so so so so badly.

I hear you @Phoenix_Rising and it is a horrible place to be - I have no advice for helping with those feelings as in my experience the only thing that can help with them is time - and we have plenty of that - and I'll sit here with you throughout little turtle - keep 'talking' here and I will keep 'listening'