Riding a wave

@Former-Member I guess it depends on the genuine intent of the parties...and at the end of the day, I can only know the genuine intent of me. For some weird reason, I do still believe in the genuine goodness of the other party. That's what makes this so very very hard to understand. How can such genuinely good, caring, amazing people do so much harm?

I really am stepping away from the computer now. I'm determined to get over to Spotlight before they close tonight. I'm going to take a drive in my car now.

I think if this suggestion has any merit, for starters it needs to be considered carefully .... and considering something carefully requires consideration time ..... and there are people who are aware of the things that happened, and those people are the ones who will need considering time and perhaps researching and discussion time .... and perhaps contacting others time .... but the bottom denominator here is “time”.....

@Phoenix_Rising you are taking the measures you need to to stay safe tonight .....

Perhpas this suggestion can remain suspended here for this moment .. and those of us who ar not in any sort of knowledgeable position can step back a little .... just far enough to keep our blanket of concern spread out here ..... far enough to listen to a turtle in distress .... but far enough also to allow for the time it takes for some cogs to turn ..... ?

I am still just thinking aloud here .... and I would like to thank everyone who is listening to me for listening .....

@Phoenix_Rising .... you matter to me. I am glad you are here.

🌷🐢

@Phoenix_Rising - I'm glad you're taking some time out to keep safe. I'm also really happy to hear you're even making a trip to the shop. I saw you've been partaking in some awesome new craft-y things , I approve

@Former-Member did a post of mine get removed? If so, why? There was nothing wrong with it. I so so SO can't cope with this. I am in utter crisis and so very very afraid. I am invisible, I am worthless, I am voiceless, I am powerless.

I feel EXACTLY like I'm back at the church trying to get someone to hear me about the abuse. Please help me. Please hear me. Please don't shut me down.

I'm looking into it @Phoenix_Rising I'll be in touch, ok?

@Faith-and-Hope I replied to you about half an hour ago when I was still out, but the post isn't there. I am desperately hoping that something just went awry with my phone and that it wasn't removed because I can see no reason at all why it would be removed. I feel so so so afraid. It is SO MUCH like being back at the church. No one hears me, no one believes me, no one wants to talk about it. The wellbeing of the church and everyone in it is worth more than one little scrambled turtle. The wellbeing of one must be sacrificed for the wellbeing of the many. The one does not matter. I feel so sick, so afraid, and so utterly utterly utterly worthless.

@Former-Member I'm so scared. I'm so so so scared. It is so exactly like my past. It's so totally exactly the same. I'm scared. I'm so scared. I'm so scared, Scout. I am so utterly worthless now just like I was then. I am so alone and so utterly worthless.

@Phoenix_Rising.