Riding a wave

Super big thank you @Former-Member. The waves of big feelings are GIANT and starting to morph into waves of suicidal ideation. Sorting out that one tiny bit of the muddle will help to settle it all back to where it was before that bit got added yesterday.

Can I just say that the entire world could be speaking Swahili given how much I have been able to understand what the heck has been going on since the 9.11.17. At least now I can say this time next week NikNik will be home.

@Former-Member or @Former-Member could you maybe swing by the ocean? I am feeling utterly alone in my muddle.

@Phoenix_Rising

I don't know if this will help.

@Former-Member super big please could you swing past the ocean before you go home? I feel so utterly alone in my muddle.

Lunar isnt around right now @Phoenix_Rising, but I'll sit here with you while you are trying to cope with the muddle

@Phoenix_Rising I get that you feel alone in your muddle, and nothing I say may change how you feel, so all I can do is sit with you and let you know you are not alone

Super big thank you for dropping by the ocean today @Zoe7 @Maggie @CheerBear @Former-Member. I feel exactly like the turtle in that picture looks @Zoe7.

@Maggie super big thank you for reminding me of the song. I super like that one.

@CheerBear Do you mean you can't work out the super giant muddle? Me neither. I don't understand ANY of it.

I know you guys are here, and in that sense I'm not alone. However, the cold hard reality is that there are only two people on the planet who know what happened during that phonecall on that night - me and the person on the other end of the phone. I'm not allowed to talk about it in Forum Land and no one who is in a position to talk about it is willing to do so. So in that sense, I am utterly utterly alone with the muddle, and it is totally cooking my brain.

@Former-Member I superly duperly appreciate you sitting with me in the muddle...but the thing I really need is to talk it out with someone. NikNik isn't going to be able to help with that bit, and that is a GIGANTIC part of the muddle. That was what turned it from a big storm into a catastrophic tsunami. My brain is so utterly fried. Today I played my violin and went to my yoga class. Other than that I was either here in Forum Land or lying on my bed focusing on my breathing. This is not a life I consider worth living.