Riding a wave

Thank you for reassuring me, @Phoenix_Rising. My brain hadn't got as far as the pictures you post ... just tripped over the emoji and stayed fallen down. 🌷🐢

This is so so SO hard. I feel utterly destroyed. Eight more sleeps to go. And then what? Am I really going to be allowed to talk about the muddle then? Or am I never going to be allowed to talk about it? I don't understand why I haven't been able to talk it through yet. My brain is SO broken. I can't concentrate AT ALL. When I'm not in Forum Land, I'm just lying on the floor of my loungeroom. This whole thing feels so cruel. I so very very very badly need to talk it out.

Will it help you to organise your thoughts to journal it for now @Phoenix_Rising ? I don’t know whether this suggestion is in any way helpful to you or not .... but in my muddle, journaling is like a pre-conversation ..... I have to try to take what is muddling my brain and articulate it to someone else, so articulating it on journal form is the beginning of my articulation process. It’s the beginning of turning my big feelings into words, so that I can translate them to someone else in a way where, hopefully, they can hear and understand what my overwhelming feelings are, and where and why they originated.

It can help to start with a mind-map. Are you familiar with these ?

@Phoenix_Rising, I don’t know NikNik very well, but she seems pretty amazing. I really doubt she would come back, see how much you’ve been struggling with this muddle and not let you talk it out. You’re doing all the right things. You’re sitting on a super uncomfortable pause button. It’s a rubbish situation and a cruel situation, but NikNik is not cruel and I really do think she’ll be able to help you with unmuddling the muddle.

Eight more sleeps, @Phoenix_Rising. You’ve got this. 🌷🐢

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member,

@Faith-and-Hope I have been writing it all out a LOT and that is better than not writing it out, but I really super badly need to TALK about it. I so very badly need to talk it through.

This is so so so SO hard.

@Former-Member I was super good and stayed on my pause button all weekend. Yesterday I flagged a post twice as being an issue but I was ignored. Please could you look at it this morning because it is just another thing that is making it SO HARD to stay on my pause button.

The big feelings are GIANT @Former-Member. I feel voiceless, powerless and worthless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0Pc50W2FnU

Morning @Phoenix_Rising

I am hearing that the wave is still massive and using the pause button is really really hard and difficult to be doing right now. I hear that. I will look into the issue from the weekend for you this morning too okay, and we can figure that out 🙂