Riding a wave

@Phoenix_Rising As you already know - I retreat, disconnect, stay away - whatever you want to call it - when I am struggling - and this has definitely added to my feelings of not wanting to be here (on the forum or irl). There seems to be no-one know I can 'talk' to - there is only so much that we can write on here - and like you, there is alot that I can't (or won't) disclose here. So now I am back to being on my own, with no outlet to talk through how I am really feeling. There is no point anyone saying they are 'here' to support me because I just do not trust those words anymore. It is a horrible feeling when you have let down your guard, let people in, and above all trusted them to be able to talk, then as if with a flick of a switch - that is gone! I think I began to realise that things were changing some time ago but was wondering if it was just me being negative because I was in a very bad place - but now I fear I was totally correct in my thinking then - and now I am stuck back in a place where there is me and no-one else - just as it has always been!

Tears again here - not sure if it is from the realisation that I feel totally alone again or hating myself for trusting again, or letting people in and now feeling hurt again - probably all 3

I am also sitting here this morning @Phoenix_Rising @Zoe7 @Teej I have brought some rocks for you all to sit on until the storm aftermath passes

I am so sorry that your world is moving so much for you right now. I would do anything to make it stop and for you to have some peace Hon. I also want to be here for you right now but I don't think I can, it's just too hard. I hope you understand @Faith-and-Hope

@Faith-and-Hope same for you little turtle

and @Teej

Hello @Faith-and-Hope

There has been a growth in the moderation team, which came in 2 months ago, and there is a section for feedback about the forums for questions and comments here, we still work with partners to help with the moderating too, like we always have. I hope you can find a way of taking care of yourself today?