Riding a wave

@Former-Member

Love that serene sea with rocks to perch on.

And your diligence and responsiveness.

@Phoenix_Rising

The distance/ connection duality will constantly shift. I believe that is life long.

I am struck by your

Changing the world phrase.

Yes it is hard.

Yes the whole therapeutic concepts behind these forums are new.

YOU in your particular and quirky way have made a difference for me, but I actually do not believe in false promises and try to be DISCIPLINED to keep more with compassionate realism.

I am also a bit suspicious of Hollywood notions. maybe lucky did not always have a tv.

Part of the reason I may sound a bit tough terse or technical

IS

Somehow I have survived with a HUGE level of distance and abandonments, functional, emotional moral.

But what strikes me in the group home scenario with kids aged 5-15. It is no picnic when one is 6. Mostly meant I was trampled all over most of the time ... so solitude does have benefits ... my fear factor with approaching closeness is MASSIVE.

My brother was 4 and my sister was 2 and the other rich brother who died in April this year was bubs at 6 months when our major abandonment event occurred. Obviously in that mini group I was the luckiest as being abandoned at 6 is far better than 4 or 2.... relatively speaking. It was obvious too in our functioning through adolescence and adulthood. I had the edge simply as my sense of self was a little more formed before massive dislodgment and repeated changes. Competition about whose hurt or loneliness is the biggest seems kinda stoopid in those scenarios.

There are lots of other kids/people obviously in the same boat in orphanages. AND we MUDDLED through. Often with KNITTING. SO I love your sense of muddle, also WOOL can be woven into wonderful warm scarves.

Your singleness

Everybody's singleness

is life.

In my experience "reframing" has only been possible in my timeline. I am sure that is an important tenet of therapy.

I also need to grow a turtle or tortoise shell big time.

and you are helping showing me the way.

You are right on about your DBT project and I hope you will get back to it when you are ready.

In many ways you may know more stuff than some of the mods. Applying eotional wisdom is YOUR perogative with your values.

You dont need to always outsource you locus of control. You have got heaps going for you. Just keep doing more of what you are doing.

Tbh the mods have made very little difference to my posting or feelings on this forum. it was the tribe and the cause. I do not hold mods accountable for my feelings or sense of safety on the forum. Dont worry I have taken a few knocks. We tend to put ourselves in a difficult double bind when put too much energy or emphasis into what others do or dont do.

Not friend Apple

I am suss of the bestie concept ...eeeeeuuuughhhhh!

Bit old for that.

Inveterate traveller into brave new worlds and unexplored terrains.

Always glad to see ya passing by @Phoenix_Rising @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Teej

Its been years now of regular heart felt sharing.

but saving butt kissing for my grand kids. (huh! In my dreams.)

Ciao

@Former-Member

Love that serene sea with rocks to perch on.

And your diligence and responsiveness.

@Phoenix_Rising

The distance/ connection duality will constantly shift. I believe that is life long.

I am struck by your

Changing the world phrase.

Yes it is hard.

Yes the whole therapeutic concept behind these forums are new. Therapy is new.

YOU in your particular and quirky way have made a difference for me, but I actually do not believe in false promises and try to be DISCIPLINED to keep more with compassionate realism.

I am also a bit suspicious of Hollywood notions. maybe lucky did not always have a tv.

Part of the reason I may sound a bit tough terse or technical

IS

Somehow I have survived with a HUGE level of distance and abandonments, functional, emotional moral.

But what strikes me in the group home scenario with kids aged 5-15. It is no picnic when one is 6. Mostly meant I was trampled all over most of the time ... so solitude does have benefits ... my fear factor with approaching closeness is MASSIVE.

My brother was 4 and my sister was 2 and the other rich brother who died in April this year was bubs at 6 months when our major abandonment event occurred. Obviously in that mini group I was the luckiest as being abandoned at 6 is far better than 4 or 2.... relatively speaking. It was obvious too in our functioning through adolescence and adulthood. I had the edge simply as my sense of self was a little more formed before massive dislodgment and repeated changes. Competition about whose hurt or loneliness is the biggest seems kinda stoopid in those scenarios.

There are lots of other kids/people obviously in the same boat in orphanages. AND we MUDDLED through. Often with KNITTING. SO I love your sense of muddle, also WOOL can be woven into wonderful warm scarves.

My brothers fear of abandonment was acted out writ huge BPD style let your impagination run riot .. mine was still pretty bloody big and I have only started paying more attention to me.

Your singleness, mine

Everybody's singleness

is life.

In my experience "reframing" has only been possible in my timeline. I am sure that is an important tenet of therapy.

I also need to grow a turtle or tortoise shell big time.

and you help show me the way.

You are right on about your DBT project and I hope you will get back to it when you are ready.

In many ways you may know more stuff than some of the mods. Applying emotional wisdom is YOUR perogative with your values to YOU.

You dont need to always outsource you locus of control. You have got heaps going for you. Just keep doing more of what you are doing.

Tbh the mods have made very little difference to my posting or feelings on this forum. it was the tribe that mattered and the causes. I do not hold mods accountable for my feelings or sense of safety on the forum. Some of them are the same age as my kids, mean well etc. etc.

Dont worry I have taken a few knocks on the forum. The people who have stood up for me matter and it can be a surprise. We tend to put ourselves in a difficult double bind when put too much energy or emphasis into what others do or dont do.

Not friend Apple

I am suss of the bestie concept ...eeeeeuuuughhhhh!

Bit old for that.

Inveterate traveller into brave new worlds and unexplored terrains.

Always glad to see ya passing by @Phoenix_Rising @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Teej

Its been years now of regular heart felt sharing.

but saving butt kissing for my grand kids. (huh! In my dreams.)

Ciao ALL

Gentleigh Bentleigh

@CheerBear @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Sans911 @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member. Yep, I'm really THAT crazy! Are you?

@Phoenix_Rising Here when I'm not and sometimes not here when I am

Good morning @Phoenix_Rising. Thank you very much for letting me borrow turtle last night. I was in a huge melty mess and it felt so good to have two times turtle power sitting with me.

I have returned him washed and in exactly the same condition in which you left him with me

I hope today is a bit more ok than yesterday 🙂

And yep, I most certainly am THAT crazy too!

Psssst @CheerBear,

Is it ok if we sit amongst the bazillion toys in the inner sanctum in the underwater cave and listen to stories together? It's ok that my favourite movie is Finding Nemo and my favourite CD is Bob the Builder isn't it. And it's ok that my favourite book at the moment is Oh the Places You'll Go and it's ok that I sleep with my toy turtle and take him out and about to scary places like psychologist's appointments isn't it. I'm ok just as I am, aren't I. Now I can hear CherryBomb in my brain again, telling me to never stop being me.

Do you reckon @Former-Member would like to sit with us. I super like you bookish. Have you heard the crayon stories bookish? Here they are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwK47xjEISs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqO1Je_8MHQ

Please don’t ever stop being you, @Phoenix_Rising.

My feelings are really big and I think would feel much safer listening to stories in the underwater cave. Thank you.

My words are still broken but I really want to say this because … I don’t know, it might be worth something. You are one of the kindest, gentlest, most respectful people (or turtles) here in Forum Land, @Phoenix_Rising. Even in your biggest muddles, even when the waves are gigantic, even when you have angry turtle feelings, you are so respectful of other people. I never feel unsafe or bad or uneasy around you. I super like you too and I super like the way you treat other people. I super like the way you do you. 😊 I just wanted you to know that, and when I say thank you for being you, I really do mean it. 🌷🐢

I am super grateful for you, and @CheerBear and @Zoe7. 🌷