Riding a wave

@CheerBear I am here even when I am not.

Hi @Phoenix_Rising

I do believe you are very brave - much more than you think

What do you think it cost the Phoenix to rise from the ashes - after all - just think about it - this magnificient bird keeps a cycle of dying and rising again - and I found a pic of a phoenix - not a lock but a wonderful , fantastic being

Oh wow!!! You identify with something like this - you do indeed have courage - but alas - I guess this is a pretty scary story too - I would not have thought of that. I have only got owls - lot of owls - and I even have an owl story

So yes - I do see you as courageous - maybe that's a part of the circle you haven't quite focussed on yet

But yes - we often do know more than our doctors or therapist - or ministers or bosses or whomever - I have found I often know more - and I don't think that it's because I have a virtue of some kind - it's just that I like studying

Recently I wrote about a converation I had with my pain specialist - and she deals with geriatric pain - and so I have seen some of the other patients and I am still switched on and I think she finds this rather disconcerting. We had a really weird conversation about whether I could drive again or not - and she kept telling me about how fast the traffic is now - and how long it is since I drove - and I told her I had noticed but I was more concerned about whether my left shoulder (two operations) could stand the swinging on the steering wheel in parking areas. I remember saying at some stage "Yes - I can hear you are concerned about the traffic and I have noticed but I am more concerned with my shoulder" but I never finished that sentence and the conversation went nowhere

I think I could drive again but my shoulder is more of a concern - I have had what's called an acriminoplasty - the bone in my shoulder has been thinned down - damaged bone removed - and I feel intense frustration that my concern is not noted when I have told her that I have heard her

So I think I understand what you are saying about your therapists - and how frustrating this must be

Is this professional hubris? I really liked my last therapist whom I only saw for a few sessions - she told me she liked me - I asked philosophical questions that challenged her - and I obviously knew the mythology behind many archetypal images relevant to psychology. It was very satisfying - and the last time I saw her I knew I did not need a therapist for the time being and I haven't

But this might have been a brilliant "aha click" - I saw myself as she saw me and that was positive - an older person being very alert and drawing on very deep ideas and as for her - she was willing - even happy to go there

Phoenix - there is a lot in the avatar you have chosen - I am sure you have done this with understanding - and you are very brave - also - I am glad your ocean is calm today

What an essay - I think perhaps I should read this again - I might like to keep it handy

Dec

Yes - I like it

Good night Forum Land. @Baboo are you watching over the ocean tonight? Tomorrow I'm having my first session with therapist-take-twelve. I'm super sure she is the right one...I so very badly hope so. And if she IS the right one, I super hope she doesn't get squished by a bus or something. Given the way things tend to go in my life, that seems painfully likely.

Good morning @CheerBear @Former-Member @Pepsimax, Thank you for dropping by the ocean today. My appointment with therapist-take-twelve isn't until late in the day (so I hope she doesn't get squished by a bus before then!!!).

@CheerBear I really am hopeful that therapist-take-twelve might be able to speak fluent turtle. It will be so super amazing to have someone here in the real world who I can communicate effectively with. I still superly duperly miss (K).

Anyway, here's hoping that therapist-take-twelve speaks fluent turtle AND doesn't get a sudden urge to quit work to have a kid (like therapist-take-one) or turn out to be just plain odd (like therapist-take-two and therapist-take-three) or uses a ridiculous therapist-y voice during sessions (like therapist-take-four) or decide not to accept me as a client after the initial session even though I super like her (like therapist-take-five) or tell me that I couldn't have BPD because he liked me when he met me and people with BPD aren't likeable (like therapist-take-six) or get me scheduled and then dump me the next day, telling Victims services she was traumatized from working with me (like therapist-take-seven) or say something completely dumb-arse five minutes into the first session, which triggered chaos and a whole lot of headbanging on my part (like therapist-take-eight) or be amazingly nice yet amazingly not on my wavelength (like (A) who was therapist-take-nine) or fail to put the time into actually knowing my story and thereby triggerering chaos like the neurofeedback psychologist (that would be therapist-take-ten) or...well we all know what happened with therapist-take-eleven!!!! Yep, if therapist-take-twelve can just avoid all of that, I think it should be ok.

Far out...how the heck can there be so many unhelpful helping people out there. I am so very very grateful for helpful helping people like @Former-Member and @Former-Member

By the way @Former-Member, my GP told me the other day that therapist-take-eleven called her after THAT session. Apparently she was super impressed with how quickly you could help me move through my big feelings during THAT phone call. Yay for @Former-Member.

Hey @Former-Member, what the heck is going on with the moon at the moment? In the last twenty four hours it was wearing such big underpants, they completely obliterated the sun!!!!

Look @NikNik, the ocean is calm - just like in some of those pictures you have posted over the past few weeks (or is it months!!!). I never thought the ocean was going to look like that ever again!!!! Have a nice day out on the calm and sunny ocean everyone.

@Phoenix_Rising wishing you all the best for a great outcome with therapist-take-twelve later today. I will be sending 'compatible vibes' in your direction.