Loss and Grief

@Zoe7, I can't add anything much to @utopia's good advice. I know you will be kind.

I'll think about that carefully @utopia and try to get some phrases worded to add in for such occasions when they come up. It is amazing how 'triggering' the word triggering can be in different contexts!

I think the topic tuesday discussion on self-care while supporting others in a few weeks will be a big one.

@utopia It's the 18th so you may not be able to make it.

I have about 4 pages of 'stuff' to send to NikNik - possibly tomorrow. Some of it is around self-care as a part of the community guidelines. So I can throw that question in as well.

I totally agree with that @utopia - sometimes I wonder if some of you guys actually sleep - and not just because you can't! Would you like me to post some of what I have come up with so far - and maybe add, subtract or re-phrase some of it. It is basic stuff that we all talk about - just putting it into words that could possibly be added to the guidelines.

Ok @utopia - you asked for it!!! The following is still a work in progress - so any comments, changes, additions etc. are welcomed.

Self-care on the forums

• Maybe change the wording slightly – seek further clarification or context of a potentially upsetting post before responding
• You can show your support by liking a post without posting a response.
• Be aware of your own limitations when reading and responding to potentially triggering posts.
• If you feel a post or discussion is beginning to trigger you it is ok to stop reading and/or disengage from the discussion. You may politely excuse yourself from the discussion, move to a ‘safer’ thread or simply disengage from the thread altogether.
• If you feel that receiving notifications from certain threads may be distressing or triggering then it is a good idea to turn of notifications from those threads.
• Sometimes members are ‘tagged’ into discussions – that does not mean that those members have an obligation to read or respond to those posts. It may be necessary to get a sense of the specific nature of the thread before engaging in a conversation. Often the title of a thread will give an idea of the nature of its contents
• If you suspect that engaging in a conversation with a member who has posted content that may cause you to become ’triggered’ then you can show your support for that member by simply ‘Liking’ a post without posting a response. This is a good way to show that you have read a post without further engaging in the conversation.
• It is ok to acknowledge that you have read a post and will return at a later stage to respond more fully to that post. This is an acknowledgement that the member has been heard but is also a statement that the reader is attending to self-care so as to not possibly being triggered at this time themselves. Everyone has different ‘thresholds’ for dealing with triggering content and knowing that allowing for some distance, and being in the right ‘headspace’ to be able to respond effectively to a post is an important consideration for both the reply and for self-care.