Do you ever touch rock bottom?

Hey hey @tyme. Yes. Life can be pretty tough all too often. Today is slightly better than yesterday, and definitely better than it was Sunday/Monday.

How are you?

Hi @tyme ,

Yeah its a bit hard right now, I managed to get a closer appointment with my psychiatrist. I think he could hear the frantic in my voice so he was much more receptive. We made some medication changes and added some things, removed some things... I think I just really miss my productive self... when energy and motivation was easy to find and my hobbies were entertaining and the daily chores weren't so hard.

Sometimes. Sometimes I have the thought that maybe its not the illness and maybe its just me and I was riding a hypommania for so long, perhaps the personality which is excited, and laughs isn't me at all.

I feel shy, withdrawn, and tired all the time.

There are treatments like TMS, and [other treatments - edited by moderator] being put to me, they are expensive though but if I go back to the MH they wont be... but its so disruptive to go to the MH... life kinda dissolves around you...and its ok for you in there but everyone else has to pick up the pieces. That doesnt seem fair.

@carmine1809 , mentally not the best because you 'moved back home'? Who's at home where you are - is that what is causing the challenges?

It's good that you get much from animals. I can't say I LOVE animals, but I don't hate them either. We just co-exist.

I'm not the best with heat. I don't mind the cooler weather.

Is your mum better?

Hi @M0ggyBazar ,

Is there something you did to make the day better than it has been?

I know days an be up sometimes and down other times. I hope you find some relief through it all.

You have a whole community behind you here.

Do you have anything planned for this weekend?

Do you find weekends are harder than weekdays? I'm only asking, because I used to find weekends so hard to manage.

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@Anonymouse1000 wrote:

Hi @tyme ,

Yeah its a bit hard right now, I managed to get a closer appointment with my psychiatrist. I think he could hear the frantic in my voice so he was much more receptive. We made some medication changes and added some things, removed some things... I think I just really miss my productive self... when energy and motivation was easy to find and my hobbies were entertaining and the daily chores weren't so hard.

Sometimes. Sometimes I have the thought that maybe its not the illness and maybe its just me and I was riding a hypommania for so long, perhaps the personality which is excited, and laughs isn't me at all.

I feel shy, withdrawn, and tired all the time.

There are treatments like TMS, and [other treatments - edited by moderator] being put to me, they are expensive though but if I go back to the MH they wont be... but its so disruptive to go to the MH... life kinda dissolves around you...and its ok for you in there but everyone else has to pick up the pieces. That doesnt seem fair.

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As hard as it is @Anonymouse1000 , one thing I can see through your post is that you KNOW what the 'productive' self looks like. Therefore, it is something you can work towards. What I find harder is when people actually don't know what the 'better normal' is and therefore, don't know what they are working towards.

Things might not get better overnight, but gradual shifts do add up. In the past, I used to use these forums to track how I was going. I couldn't see much progress in my recovery, but when I went to posts that I first posted, I realised then how far I'd come.

Who knows? As hard as it is, maybe you have improved, but it's just not a obvious?

It's great you were able to get a closer appointment with your psychiatrist. I hope you feel supported as you work through this difficult period.

@tyme yeah not amazing cause of everything happening at home but i'm not sure i think in general when people say try going for a walk and i do, and it helps a little but not as much as i hoped for? mum is doing better, i brought her some food from home and she enjoyed it so much more than hospital food. really made me feel like i filled my cup a little bit today 🙂

Yeah, makes sense @carmine1809 . Then again, does it have to be more than one walk? I think the research is that walks/exercise can have similar impacts to taking some antidepressants @carmine1809 . Of course everyone is different so it's whatever works for you.

Is your mum still in hospital?

@tyme yeah we try to swim we can it's funny because i joined the gym to go gym but ended up swimming more. though i haven't been to the gym in a little bit cause everything is just so chaotic. mum still is in hospital but she's doing better 🙂

Well pool is still exercise @carmine1809 . I have a heated pool at home but I don't use it much. I spend more time cleaning it than using it!

What else have you been up to? How do you spend your days?