Depressed with my situation, later 50s

Hey @TAB

Yeah it's a funny layout this forum , never sure which ways up half the time.

My like thingo only works when it feels like it too so no one be offended if there's no like ok.

Trouble is, if l go ahead and build something l have to commit, least for a few yrs and could be bothered moving again even LESS by then so. Buggered if l know.

Building, even though it's only small, just an extension to the little cabin on here really, still gonna use up what sav l have to sooo, yeah.

Rubbish is so bloody mad in this country these days isn't it. l'm all for everything recycling but as usual, they make it so ridiculously expensive and complicated like they do everything else.

Costs 60 bucks, 60, just to get rid of a mattress here.

But yeah, exactly and that's it. My place has gone 4x since l bought it 18yrs ago too, but that'll still only buy the same thing bc everything else has gone up at least 4x too anyway in 20yrs anywhere better so.

well just collect materials maybe or do only things you Need. like me - insulation , shades, aircon, ceiling fans, wood heater, best money ever spent. then at least can be comfortable while procrastinating lol @mrmista everyones 'like' buttons same.. all play up

@TAB

Yeah, that;s what l've gotta do but that'd be right and l love that sorta stuff, Wouldn't believe it, scored3ks worth of Cedar windows free on fb last wk. 2nd hand l mean, need a few repairs but they';ll be unreal. These are what l'd have dreamed to use but no way l could afford them but low n behold. The Gods were playin with me that day 🤣, bc now it;s like well you gotta build it now you have these unreal windows.

But ah man, great stuff you treated yourself , nice , shall do the same if get that far.

Do they ah right, no worries.

All Good @mrmista lucky

Mate @mrmista I don’t know how long ago you and your ex parted ways, but I don’t think it’s the place that’s making you feel sad.

Don’t hate me, but I think you are grieving the loss of your future.

I know about loss mate, the biggest loss is when you don’t know who you are anymore.

When everything you identify with including a career that gave you purpose is gone.

A future you thought was inevitable is erased.

The shock can last for months, even years. It can leave you frozen because you don’t trust your own judgment. You want something to happen to create change, but at what cost and is it the right change for you?

Are you sleeping?

@ Glisten.

Well , l can hear it all in you for sure but nah. We split prob 14yrs ago, she never even came over to this place really, not really any connection there as such.

Ofc still sadness if to think that we never worked out but yaknow, this place nah, as l say.

Funny, well not really. But so many decisions married aren't ones you'd make single and you start resenting that but still, on this one, be nice to be doing it with someone though for sure.

'No worries about any identify from my business thing or whatever either, man, honestly, l effg love not working now,best thing ever ha ha. Nother reason l don;t wanna go back into hock over some other place instead of this one, don't wanna have to go back to work ha ha.

But anyway yeah, the depression here, yeah sure there are some life things in it too, like the loneliness l feel out here, but it;s mainly just the damn area /town and what have you.

l grew up in Melbourne. 4million people back then, not 300.

And these country people are sooooo quiet. You can hear a pin drop at night, day to usually, there's nothin. Just lights on in houses.\, that';s it. All that shyt depresses the hell out me l'm afraid.

But not only, we've lived in some of the dreamiest places in the country to. Byron, Cairns, Noosa.

Yep, wtf, l know.

Like l said like this spot is no way what l'd be choosing, especially at this stage. Just somehow turned out what l'm left with.

Nah, watchin a movie - you ?

..it's a cliche @mrmista but part of path to happiness is acceptance. Esp if working not an option. You're a lot better off than a lot of people these days

@TAB

Ah mate, funny you mention that at this point. Acceptance came up other day, just yarning with someone. lt's no cliche , it's a huge thing in life,very real.

Something l'm well aware l should've been better at 20yrs ago and life would've been v v different. Always towy, restless, itchy, it's been a bloody "curse", of mine.

l'm also v observant, quietly and l've noticed many times through life people excepting their lot.

Some yeah, personally l'd think they should do something about it, change. But many, have been just plain content, excepting and they;'ve often been the ones at the most peace, and a quiet happy, l've really envied them .

There was an old fella right here cross the rd, l met yrs ago, in his 90s.

He'd lived here all his life, beautiful man, soul. Had more wisdom than some world traveller or self made billionaire, he had what they spend their lives searching for, running themselves ragged, well, that was a bit of me to for sure.

But this guy, he had such a peace, right here in this tiny town. Had acceptance, all over him.

Just an example, many others but you get the drift.

Actually, chick up the rd met a few wks back too, oddly we'd lived in all the same places over her yrs too, and both grew up in Melb to. Well, she just wanted to get a place after all that, any place, found a little cheapie renovator here, falling to bits, wangled a loan and been her 12yrs, chipping away at her cute little cottage. Man, she's done a great job to, bloody nice chick actually too. WAs really interesting too how she's jsut been so content too , another. After all her running about earlier in life.

Lots of thinking since l've been here, about all that stuff. My ex w was that sorta person too, even though we did huge things and lived all over, that was mostly my side. Her, she was one of these people that would've been quite content just plonking just about anywhere, just building life and been as happy as a pig in mud. Shame that side of her never rubbed of on me more.

So yep, have thought muchly about all that here too. What a weird bloody bite you on the bum place to end up buttttt, maybe it's my karma, or maybe there's a reason from the universe huh, maybe l should be just excepting my lot, like those people l've noticed and admired.

Nope, wouldn't have to work, no bills, solar, tank water, no repayments , just small rates, mob ph,

l could do my little build with sav's and be really comfy, scrape through till l get the pension, just, but wouldn't need much so

you see , that's the dilemma . Where else am l gonna get that now. lf l start moving again god knows, it's a real scary thought l tell ya.

Could finally get my parrots too. Haven't had parrots since l was a kid, moved around too much.

Soooo, there ya have it.

Nothng but benefits left and right by just for once in my life just bloody staying put and yep, excepting.

Cept the soul crushing loneliness l find here, especially at night. maybe that'd change, maybe l meet someone new, who bloody knows. maybe l don't even want to in bliss after awhile if l built, who knows that either.

The 50k drive up to my main towns a little bit of a worry long term though, alone anyway. Must of driven 10million miles in my day, add a few more by the look if l stayed right 🤣

PS,

mind you , a lot of worry over my own stupidity too over the yrs 😘