creative_writerSenior Contributor
Constant flashbacks
Does anyone else struggle with daily flashbacks? I keep getting somatic flashbacks day after day and it’s so exhausting
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Constant flashbacks
227 replies
In response to: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
I’m struggling, I’ve been trying really hard to concentrate on an assignment but it’s like my brain isn’t working. I tried to exercise and do other things to get myself into the mindset of focusing, but still not feeling it. Maybe my thoughts are still racing and it feels really hard to slow down and press pause. My brain is too busy thinking about other things, letting go of thought on a stream isn’t working right now
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
Today has been rough with SI, but I’m safe and have taken PRN. Thoughts are racing and I feel super restless. Can’t stop thinking about past trauma. I’m going to take a shower and hope I feel better afterwards because I really need to get some study done
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
hopeful_hannahModerator
Re: Constant flashbacks
Hey @creative_writer
Glad to hear that you are taking gentle care of yourself. I hope the shower was a helpful little reset and you have been able to get some study underway...
Forums community are here for you.
Sending you all my best 💌
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
@hopeful_hannah I'm feeling better, I think the PRN has kicked in. I do still feel distressed and think it will take a bit longer to fully settle. I think it's a positive I caught it early before the SI tipped to more risky territory. The thoughts aren't gone, but I think I can manage to resist for now.
I'm not sure why I feel worse right now, I guess sometimes it is hard to pinpoint a trigger. I'm trying to study the best I can, but feel mentally scattered
I'm not sure why I feel worse right now, I guess sometimes it is hard to pinpoint a trigger. I'm trying to study the best I can, but feel mentally scattered
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
Tonight I've been crying and I don't know why it hurts so much. I have been on the edge and I don't know how I got here. I've just been trying to manage with self care, PRN and reaching out for support where needed. I feel so low, restless and the pain feels so heavy. The thoughts keep coming, having urges and a lot of trauma thoughts. I'm somatically experiencing trauma again. I'm safe
TW: SI
Content/trigger warning
A part of me doesn't want to be here anymore. I do also recognise there could be purpose in the suffering I'm experiencing. It's just really hard to stay alive, but I am doing it for now.
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
AuntGlowModerator
Re: Constant flashbacks
Hello lovely human,
Here with you. @creative_writer
It sounds like you're experiencing some big feelings right now, but please know that you are not alone.
I know how scary it can be to experience trauma in the body and I think cultivating some safety will help so much here.
Can you tell me what might help you to feel even 1% more soothed right now?
I would also like to remind you that Lifeline and Suicide Callback Service are there to support you if you are feeling unsafe. I suspect some co-regulation could be really helpful. What do you think? 💛
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
@AuntGlow I think it’s a combination of trauma and bipolar in the mix right now. It’s awful having one mental health diagnosis, but having multiple is hard. I feel like I have been collecting more diagnoses over the years. I know they’re a part of me, but sometimes it is hard not to feel defined by it.
I have my nighttime wind down routine. I’ve also performed some gentle prayers this evening, I had my skincare and will be in bed in a bit. Just a bit longer to go.
I’ve been in contact with a helpline tonight. I felt the emotions sort of building up over time. At first I thought I could do it on my own, “independent brain” took over. Then I realised that I was spiralling and that it probably wasn’t the best strategy
I have my nighttime wind down routine. I’ve also performed some gentle prayers this evening, I had my skincare and will be in bed in a bit. Just a bit longer to go.
I’ve been in contact with a helpline tonight. I felt the emotions sort of building up over time. At first I thought I could do it on my own, “independent brain” took over. Then I realised that I was spiralling and that it probably wasn’t the best strategy
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
AuntGlowModerator
Re: Constant flashbacks
It really would be hard to manage multiple diagnoses... and given that it is hard, I think you're doing incredibly well.
I am curious to know if understanding more about trauma or bipolar has been empowering for you? @creative_writer
Ah, yes! Your night time skin routine. What's in your routine tonight?
I am glad you said some prayers, I can imagine that would be really grounding for you.
Proud of you for talking to someone, lovely. I know it can be tough, but you're following your safety plan really well tonight - let's take a moment to acknowledge that. 🫶
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
@AuntGlow I have more than just cptsd and bipolar, but diagnoses do provide some insight but obviously don't explain everything. I think it's also important to recognise that even the more biological mental illnesses like bipolar and schizoprehenia are also influenced by trauma.
I had washed my face in the shower and did an enzyme mask yesterday in the avo. I didn't bother to moisturise and do skincare till the night. I use aloe vera, bakuchiol oil, moisturiser, spot treatment, a bit of multi purpose balm on dry areas of face and lip balm
I managed to stay safe, feeling calmer today, I hope it stays that way. I made a mental note to make sure I ate my morning meds today. Yesterday I felt like I delayed my morning meds by accident, it gets super confusing at times. I've become better with my night meds, I used to accidentally drop meds and not take them as a result. Maybe it is something I need to be extra mindful of going forward
I had washed my face in the shower and did an enzyme mask yesterday in the avo. I didn't bother to moisturise and do skincare till the night. I use aloe vera, bakuchiol oil, moisturiser, spot treatment, a bit of multi purpose balm on dry areas of face and lip balm
I managed to stay safe, feeling calmer today, I hope it stays that way. I made a mental note to make sure I ate my morning meds today. Yesterday I felt like I delayed my morning meds by accident, it gets super confusing at times. I've become better with my night meds, I used to accidentally drop meds and not take them as a result. Maybe it is something I need to be extra mindful of going forward
In response to: Re: Constant flashbacks
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Constant flashbacks
Today has been better but still struggling today. I’m feeling really low but not on the edge of acting on urges today. I’m feeling wounded. I think I need to get home and rest, feeling pretty migrainey right now. Maybe I need to have some dinner since I haven’t eaten in hours
