Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

@Former-Member, hugs. That sounds harsh and yet it is one of those things that happens to us with people who don't really understand that we have actual illness with depression and anxiety. Have you ever tried talking to her in a quiet moment about how her words affect you? I know from my own experience how hard it can be with mothers sometimes. Mum and I have a lovely relationship now but it's taken a long time to get here. I'm hopeful there are possibilities for better relations for you and your mum too.

@Former-Member, hearing your pain and anger.

@Former-Member, tears might give you a little relief if that's where you're at. I cried rivers over stuff between me and mum in earlier days. It's the same with my mum. She's been through a lot of depression and some heavy trauma in her life. I guess the reason she found it hard to understand my mental illness is that she did just push through it with manic energy and incredible will. Not everyone is born with that kind of will of iron and not everyone should be expected to be that way. There's a lot of downsides to being that tough on ourselves. To be honest, you sound a fair bit more sensitive than your mum, of course that might be a wrong impression. Sensitivity brings hardships but it is also a blessing.

But doesnt matter its my fault @Mazarita
I hate myself and its just confirmed by everyone around me.

Im not as strong as people on here. I wish i was but im not. I dont know how im going to get through this. Maybe its time to give up

@Former-Member, I like hearing you say true and lovely things about you. Your understanding will be helpful to you as you go on in life too, even though it might sometimes seem like you don't get the same in return. Your mum may be really hard on you because in some ways she is really hard on herself? That's how it has been with my mum in some ways. She has had a very hard life. That doesn't always bring out the best in us, even towards those we love the most.

Hi @Former-Member,

I am so sorry to hear about the most recent incident with you mother, i can hear in your words how much this has hurt you. Its great that you are able to articulate so of this pain, please keep posting! but your words "give up" are concerning so I also wanted to remind you of the phone numbers available for immediate support if you need it

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Chat

Suicide Call Back: 1300 659 467 or Online Counselling

Beyondblue: 1300 22 46 36 (24/7) or Web chat

please reach out to them also if you need it

We were posting at about the same time and missed your last one, @Former-Member. It's not your fault. I was so terribly depressed, anxious and spun around when I was about your age too. Though there have been rough times all along the way for me, things have improved a long way over time too. The way we get through and find our strength is day to day. Thinking too far ahead can get us into trouble. Hope that makes sense.

thanks @Fancy_Pants