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Something’s not right

Does it ever stop

Does it ever stop

Hey - I feel like I can’t escape how I feel, how I react to things, how flashbacks and people I see that have caused me trauma in the past and present. I feel like I’m just trapped in it some days constantly and that it just wants to stay and haunt me and not leave.

my house mates have been arguing constantly and it got to a point tonight where I yelled at them to stop as it is getting annoying as it’s nearly everyday and it never stops. Then one of them had a go at me and started yelling and telling me that it’s the other persons fault when it wasn’t even them. It’s just a constant run around and I can’t seem to escape it.

im just now curled up on my bed in tears because I’m so triggered and I don’t know what or how I’m feeling.

im safe

but it’s just bringing up all my past all over again.

@Shaz51 @Bow @Jacques @Jynx @tyme @Blackbird11 @Meowmy @outlander @Historylover @Snowie @eth @Zoe7 and if I’ve missed anyone please tag them

3106 replies

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In response to: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

@Fluttershy1 haha sounds like a very interesting piece of plastic 😂. Can totally relate to getting distracted by random things really easily 😂

In response to: Re: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

It was just outa my pencil case lol @MissGremlin - I’m so bored lol

In response to: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

@Fluttershy1 that’s amazing. Painting can be so relaxing. I’m more of a writer, my painting and drawing abilities are limited

In response to: Re: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

Ohhh I will share one of my poems here then @creative_writer

In response to: Re: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

@Fluttershy1 haha when the boredom kicks in the simplest things can become entertainment 😂

In response to: Re: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

If you ever feel like giving up read this.

I know it’s tough
I know it’s hard
I know it seems impossible
I know it seems like you’re going around in a circle again
I know it feels like everything is failing
I know it seems like it’s never going to get better
I know okay believe me I do

But listen….

I’ve said this plenty of times no matter what happens no matter how bad it gets no matter how much you want to give up you’re not allowed you’ve gotta keep fighting yes you might not want to keep fighting but you belong here. I know everything is getting worse trust me I do but giving up isn’t going to solve any of your problems, remember everything that happens is temporary SI isn’t instead it’s permanent and once you’re gone you’re gone there’s no getting you back.

I understand you may think that no one loves you or no one wants you but they do me loves you and me wants you so if you feel like no one wants your or loved you I do I’m here.

You’re all worth so much more than you think and I know it sounds impossible to get through this but it’s temporary pain trust me. Your life is worth living you’re worth living you’re worth fighting for.

I’ve said this always and imma say it again but with more explanation.

Life is like a book okay.

So you’re given a book for an amount of time no one knows how long you’re gonna have that book for yeah

You then start reading that book it becomes boring and you give up reading it anymore. You close the book and put it down you’ve given up with that book.
It gets taken away from you someone’s comes and gets it or taken somewhere and then you don’t find out what happens.

Life’s the same okay

You’re given this life for an amount of time no one knows how long for
You start off your life and it could be going great but you get older you start to grow up it gets harder and harder to live life. You give up it’s gotten to much now you’re tired you want to go so you do but your life has been taken from you too soon.

So if you’re looking for a reason to stay here it is

You’re wanted
You’re loved
You’re needed
You’re worthy
You’re strong
You’re brave
You’re kind
You’re caring
You’re beautiful
You’re precious
You’re gorgeous
You’re a fighter
You’re not a burden
You’re not a waste of space
You’re not a waste of time
You’re not a waste of oxygen
Things do and will get better so just hold on okay cause it will get better
So
keep fighting
Stay strong💖💖

@MissGremlin @Shaz51 @NightFury @Dimity @Flutterbug9 @Chasingsunsets @AlwaysMyself @Cuddlebear @DownMoreThanUp @tyme @Blackcloud @Icecream @Appleblossom @Snowie @Emelia8 @creative_writer @GezzaP @Glisten @Oaktree @Spirit_Healer @avant-garde @The-red-centaur @heartathome @Cat34 @Anonymouse1000 @Honeymoon @Jynx @rav3n @Captain24 @Mustang67 @liminalzest @Invi @SaltwaterSoul @Tolly @MatchaToad @TAB @ENKELI @PeppyPatti @DownMoreThanUp @Till23 @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

Yessss @MissGremlin - the house has intensified they are arguing

In response to: Re: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

@Fluttershy1 I'm sorry they are arguing, I'm here for you sweet.

I just read your poem and it was amazing, thankyou for sharing it. I write poetry also but mine is very dark as it's written in my darkest moments. That being said I did write a poem about writing poems a little while ago which I'm happy to share if you like ☺️

In response to: Re: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

You can @MissGremlin - it’s freaking cold down here

In response to: Re: Does it ever stop

Re: Does it ever stop

@Fluttershy1 It sounds so very true at the moment, but i know when down deepest it is a different story altogether.

@MissGremlin @creative_writer @tyme @Invi

Therefore not just intellectual knowledge, although truly important as well, it is the accepting of our state that helps us overcome it. For as long as i fight i increase my levels of stress and get more dislocated emotionally, however if i can get myself to accpet my predicament i can move through the state safely. Although still hard of course the need to act goes away along with accepting the moments.

At least that is what i found for myself to be true. It is coming to the accepting part that can be so hard. Although the more often we manage the easier it becomes. Like a well travelled road.

a poem i once wrote despairing my state of being down deep...(slightly edited)

Miseries Ugly Truth

My truth is sore and ugly,
my truth is I hate my life.
The Truth is, truth is unwanted!
my truth is rotten to the core,
my truth stinks like sewage.

My truth is hard and mean,
My truth is without any good.
The Truth is, my truth burns!
My truth is a walk in darkness,
my truth does away with good life.

My truth lies to me continually
my truth isn't holy or blameless
The Truth is, my truth is the pits!
my truth is utterly godforsaken
my truth is irredeemable.

My truth is utterly rejected,
my truth hands out no mercy.
The Truth is, my truth is loveless!
My truth hotly desires good life,
my truth hurts like Hell.

My truth is not welcome,
my truth is not loved.
The Truth is! Hear! Hear!
why have I forsaken my own truth?
Is that why I'm down so deep?

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