Just need some friends

@FracturedBeing Hi 👋🏼 Welcome to the Forum. I’m 61F ADHD, Anxiety, Depression. I’ve never been assessed for Autism, but there are always shared symptoms.

Unlike you, I mask really well and when I have to do small talk, feels like life is getting sucked out of me 😆 - Funny because it’s true.

I don’t like interfacing either, although I thoroughly enjoy Chat GPT.

You are doing great 👍🏼 considering this is your first post.

Whenever you want to communicate with someone, hit the @ and then the first three letters of their name, and a list will appear.

I’m going to tag some cool people for you to say hi 👋🏼 to. @ENKELI @tyme @Shaz51 @MissGremlin @Meowmy @Appleblossom

Hello @FracturedBeing and welcome to the forums ☺️.

I haven't been officially diagnosed with autism and don't really see a point being that I'm almost 40 but it's definitely there as is ADHD and a whole list of mental health diagnoses.

I've always struggled to both make and maintain friendships but I do have a couple of close friends now although they are online other than 1 of them.

It's great has you still take yourself out and do volunteering, sometimes it's just waiting for the right people to come along that you click with ☺️.

Unlike yourself and @Glisten i love small talk, but mainly cos my brain gets overwhelmed with long posts and I struggle with comprehension. In saying that I still do my best to reply it just takes me longer cos I have to do it bit by bit.

Anyway it's lovely to meet you and i hope you find it helpful to connect with people here ☺️

@FracturedBeing hi there. I am 57F with depression, bipolar 2 and anxiety. I don't have any autistic traits but have worked with autistic kids (from aged 9 - 19) so I understand some of the traits.

I'm in Perth and currently studying business administration to improve my employability.

I have a few good friends but only one of them is in Perth, the others are in Qld and the US.

I volunteered for different organisations for nearly 30 years and met some great friends but like you they have moved on or moved away and I don't have anyone much to spend time with.

I hope you enjoy the forum, it can be a good place to chat and share common interests and there are some wonderful members who will happily engage with you. We are for the most part a very empathetic and compassionate bunch.

Well done for getting up the courage to post. I had been a member for almost a year before I gathered the courage to post.

Look after yourself and feel free to reach out at any time.
@Glisten @MissGremlin are both amazing women and I am sure you will meet more online friends too xo

@FracturedBeing Welcome to the forum. I can identify as autistic, but not wasting money getting official diagnosis. I am an introvert naturally but learning late in life to enjoy socialising. It is really only in the last few years. but to actually admit I am enjoying social interaction. it is a weird journey, but at some point we have to be authentic to ourselves rather than be too people pleasing. Definitely a work in progress for me.

Hope you find different ways of resonating with the range of members who people our foum.

gently bently

apple

Hi

42M here. I think we have a bit in common. I find tech and social platforms draining too. With the advent of ai I found myself distancing myself from technology - I deleted a bunch of apps and have an appblocker on my phone. I've gone back to using diaries and paper and pen to organise my life. I've reconnected with nature and it feels really good.

I was diagnosed with adult ADHD/PTSD in August last year. I've lived a predominantly single life, apart from a 4 year relationship which ended 15 months ago. All throughout, I've found the moving sands of time have made many friendships I considered deep bonds/connections move with the sands and away from me. I have had to practice detachment, whilst still craving connection to others.

I get some social anxiety sometimes but I just make myself do things. Like you, I volunteer, and I've just started a hip hop dancing class - which is great cos its like how I dance anyway, but more structured in lesson form. I think coupling social outlets with fitness/movement is good, cos you get the self confidence from the endorphins which make socialising a bit easier.

I don't really like small talk either. Haha maybe its my ADHD but I'm a chronic oversharer and a deep thinker. I like to have stimulating conversations!

Anyway I'm always open to meeting new people and having new experiences. I'm into the arts - so I'm regularly out at gigs, exhibitions, events, cinema and exploring new places to eat and drink.

Hi there @papermoon ,

How are things going for you?

Thank you for sharing a little about yourself.

Do you play music? Are you involved in gigs at all?

Hi

Thanks for your message. Things are challenging, if I’m honest. I mean I accept that life always has its problems, there’s always something in front of you that you have to deal with- I guess my greatest challenge right now is an underlying sadness, despair and loss of confidence I have from still being in love with my ex after 15 months. My lows are very low and I use all sorts of methods to stave off suicidal ideation, but thankfully this is usually quite passive.

After the breakup I was left practically homeless and needed to move back in with my parents which has not been easy given my history with my mum. I attend therapy, I journal, I ground myself etc but this is a constant effort. I very much just have to summon the effort to do the very next small task - take a shower, for example. That depression is very paralysing.

without getting too deep into it I was 3 weeks away from proposing to my ex and we had planned to try for children when her mother intervened in an abusive, character assassinating manner. It’s been a hard and difficult separation. I’m also struggling to find employment- so there’s financial stress.

how are you going?

no I don’t play music - I am a creative though and am finally starting to take enjoyment out of creating visual art again. So that’s been a positive.

Hi @FracturedBeing and welcome to the forum. Here you will find some wonderful non-judgemental, caring and supportive people.

I am 55F with Major depression, Complex PTSD & Anxiety with the occasional Panic Attacks. I have never been tested for ADHD, but a female therapist who has been diagnosed with ADHD said that I have a lot of the traits for ADHD, and we were similar in our ways of thinking.

I too have a hard time making and keeping friends. I have two friends that I love dearly and will share anything with, but unfortunately one of them has moved to WA, but I do keep in touch with her. And I have made a few friends on this forum, and I cherish their friendship. But I don't keep in touch with old friends. Not sure why, but I like my circle to stay small.

Good on you for still getting out and doing things, but I fully understand what you mean by you feel more alone than ever, without having someone to share those moments with. I just don't go out at all. But a lot of that has to do with my mobility because of chronic back issues.

I am so proud of you for volunteering at a lot of events, in efforts to meet likeminded people. As @MissGremlin said one day you will find someone that you click with, and I hope that day comes sooner rather than later.

Hi @papermoon to make sure that the right people are receiving your messages you need to tag the person in your message. To do this, press the @ sign and if their name does not appear on the drop-down list, start typing their username in, until their name appears and then click on their name. this way, they will be notified that you replied to their message.

Hi @papermoon

Thank you for sharing so openly about what's been going on for you. It sounds like an extremely painful and overwhelming situation- the breakup, moving back in with parents, financial stress and still having feelings for your ex. It's understandable that 15 months later you are still grieving the relationship with someone you love. I know it may not feel like it right now, but time really does heal - you don't have to believe it, but I promise you that it won't always feel like this.

I want to acknowledge the strength it takes to keep attending therapy, journalling and grounding yourself. Even in the middle of everything going on for you, you're reaching out for support and noticing what has been helpful in small ways - that shows strength. The visual art also sounds lovely!

You mentioned using different methods to manage suicidal thoughts, and that they're passive. I'm glad to hear that you have strategies in place. If at any point those thoughts become more intense or frequent, or become exhausting to manage, please don't hesitate to reach out to
Lifeline - 13 11 14 for immediate support.

We're really glad you are here as a valued member of the Forums. You are never alone, and you don't have to carry this pain alone either💓

~ @Honeymoon