Cuddlebears Space

@Chasingsunsets the tadpole to frog picture were great. Well done on capturing their life cycle.

@Cuddlebear Thinking of you during this really difficult time. I know things are incredibly tough right now, but I believe in your strength and I am here for whatever you need—even if it's just to listen. You are not alone ❤️❤️❤️

Sorry to hear @Cuddlebear

@thinking if you and sending virtual hugs 🤗🤗

Hi @Cuddlebear

have realised why I’m missing your updates as they are not on your post, they are on my post.

appears others are finding it easy to contact you on post “the me no one knows”. I’ll move on and use a different post I’ve started.

sorry to read the different struggles you are trying to deal with and having no support to help.

sorry to hear you are in a lot of physical pain.

physical pain is horrible when nothing stops it.
struggling with that myself currently. Pain started few days ago. Nerves in my lower lumber area causing lots of pain in my lower back, left hip and left knee. Struggling to be able to do almost anything today due to the pain.

please know I’m thinking about you 🤗🤗

@Flutterbug9 Hello lovely how are you? I’m all over the place and struggling to be on forums. I am not ignoring you or anyone else.

My mental health is really in a bad place with a lot of major panic and trauma. I really really appreciate you being here and speaking gently and in a caring way. It helps me so much and I want to engage with you. I value the friendship we have built here. I have no real supports and have been let down by services. It’s really tough.

Yes pain is so hard and I’m sorry you too are feeling pain too. How is your pain today? Do you get any treatment?

There’s not much I can do for pain relief end of May, my next week in hospital and next infusion. Heat packs help a bit at times but not much as it’s partially nerve pain. I get stabbing pains in lower lumber, left hip and knee plus sciatica symptoms. I have a cyst that is growing around the nerve endings of my spine. Combine that with severe OA in approx half of spine = not a good combination. Cyst is deemed inoperable, too many possible risk outcomes of surgery.

I prefer to post on here so everything is in one place. I know might take some time to get any type of reply. That’s no different than anyone who tags me in a message, I reply when I can and when I feel up to being on the forums.

with posting my feelings and having been chastised for that on the thread I created, I won’t be going back to that thread. I don’t see I said anything that deserved to be spoken to the way I was. Everyone can have off days and can say things they mightn’t usually say. If I did say something wrong, I’m sorry.

Im not leaving the forums. What I am doing is not being on the forums as much as I used to be. I log on now only for one of two reasons

1) something I want to post about

2) have had notification I’ve been tagged in a post. This now also depends on who has tagged and what thread it is on

my stress levels have been very high last few weeks. Have been wrestling with panic attacks and lots of inner tormoil and active SI. I received phone call one morning with good news. Thank goodness I had my phone on loud speaker and I wasn’t holding it as I started to physically shake.

End of next week I’m hoping the cause of lot of things will be over and done with. Motorised Outdoor roller blinds due to be installed on Tuesday. Electrician due on Wednesday to install new double power point close to the motors. That will leave issues with my GP to deal with in May when I next see them.

im sorry to hear neither of your specialists have had good news for you recently. I’m still struggling to comprehend your vascular surgeon isn’t looking at some type of surgery or other option to help where you have no feeling in one foot. That being said, if they had mentioned surgery now, that might be something you are not ready for. Either way, huge decisions.

apart from your daughter, is there anyone else you feel comfortable talking with about your fears and possible surgical outcomes? I know having someone to have verbal, interactive conversations with can be helpful.

you are so brave. I used to have panic attack each time vascular surgeon mentioned laser treatment of varicose veins. Nothing compared to the challenges you face with your veins. In regards to impact of more possible surgery by vascular surgeon, I leave decision with you how much information (if any) you want to share.

how is your cat going? I remember reading there had been a health scare with your elderly cat

@Cuddlebear with anything I ask, please only answer what you are comfortable answering, including how much to share

@Honeymoon @tyme

@Flutterbug9 It’s so good to hear back from you. You are more than welcome to lost here anytime you want and tag whoever you want. You can talk about anything here ok.

Im sorry there’s not much you can do for pain other than heat packs at home. I realise they’re not ideas as in they don’t take all the pain away. The combination of where the pain is and OA is severe pain and I realise that is really hard to live with. Does the hospital infusion provide any relief? It sounds like you go in periodically for the hospital stay to have the infusion? Having an in operable cyst is difficult too. I understand what you mean by the risks outweighing any benefit.

I honestly didn’t realise you’d be chastised on your thread. I’m really sad thwt happened to you. The forums must be a safe space for the community which I now realise isnt always the case. Everyone certainly can have off days, after all we are all humans. However, I’ve always found you to be someone who does create safety and you do follow the guidelines while expressing how you feel and providing support to others despite not feeling well yourself. There’s nothing to be sorry about.

I know those awful feeling of anxiety coupled with inner turmoil and active SI. Are you safe at the moment? I care about you and want you to feel and be safe.

It’s wonderful that you did get some good news. We all need that and I want more good news to come your way. You deserve it and are worthy of not just good news but also recovery and good things in life.

Yay I’m so glad the PowerPoint and shutters are getting done! I know you’ve had to do a lot to get to this point and I can’t wait till these works are completed for you. Then in May you will be able to resolve those GP issues. I’m having similar issues with medical paperwork from GP.

There's no blood flow to my right foot at the part of artery at foot. The reason we’re not doing surgery yet is because the risks of bypass outweigh the benefits. My right leg will need bypass once I can’t walk more than 50 metres before rest or I get pain at rest. I have clots in my arteries on legs but bypass surgery is huge and carries very high risks. The dental work will be very hard and to be honest I don’t know if I can go through that. It’s in public dental which is rubbish in Victoria and due to trauma and anxiety I don’t know if I can go through all those dental procedures/surgeries. I don’t know if this all alone. It’s very hard.

My daughter doesn’t have the time to help much due to good reasons if her own. I’m just alone and have a friend online who is in another State but helps via online chat.

Same goes with you. If I ask something and you don’t want to share it is completely ok. No pressure whatsoever.

I’m a patient of a wonderful Dr at a pain management firm @Cuddlebear. In the 2nd half of last year I had spinal nerve block done, it’s a 2 stage procedure. I received enough pain relief from the nerve block for procedure to be deemed successful even though I still had reasonable amount of pain and was still using a walking stick.

First week of December I had the first infusion. Walking to the car on day of discharge, neighbour who came to drive me home remarked I was standing up straight and walking normally, first time that had happened for at least 6mths.

due to the medication that is used in the infusion, I’ve been told there has to be a minimum of 4mths between each infusion. There are some risks plus possible variety of side effects, regular obs each 3 to 4 hrs during the day and one during the night are done as part of monitoring.

I am safe, thanks for asking. The worst things have gotten was couple weeks ago, late at night after few enjoyable hrs of Mexican Trains domino game. During the short drive home my mood totally crashed and all the dark thoughts started. If I had a longer drive that night I don’t know if my cats would have seen me again. Thursday morning with my new psychologist I briefly touched on the different “goals” I have. Things I’ve verbally identified that I know I need help with. I told the psych I can’t tolerate people in my personal space and don’t want to do EMDR. In her usual relaxed tone I heard the words, “that’s ok, other options we can use”

I had sone issues with a dentist decades ago that left me scared of going to any dentist. Years later when I started seeing a dentist I had a very bad experience with person who filled in whilst my dentist was on holidays. After returning from his holiday and seeing the state of one tooth, my dentist referred me to an orthodontist who was very good at his job. Long story short, the remaining teeth I had were removed in surgery in hospital.

i have some understanding of fears and concerns of dental surgery. I’m also in Victoria and know I’m very lucky to have private health insurance. The combined of things in your past plus concerns due to current health, fully understandable your fears. It’s a huge thing you have on you plate. For whatever reason, if bypass isn’t an option or successful, could that mean more amputation surgery? For your sake, I hope the bypass surgery is successful and is able to be done sooner rather than later.

Hey @Cuddlebear ,

Thanks for the updates. I'm sorry to hear about your foot. That sounds incredibly hard to be faced with so many health challenges. And am I right in saying you are having problems with NDIS supports too?

Oh hun. I wish I could take all this hurt and pain away from you.

Please let us know if there is anything you can think of that we can support you with.

We are sitting with you.

Hi @Cuddlebear

dropping by to let you know I’m thinking of you.

I’ve been doing some research today and have found some interesting things.

tonight will be 4th week I’ve gone to Mexican Trains game at night. It’s a type of dominos game so mentally stimulating. For me it’s also mentally draining. As a group, we play 13 rounds in approx 2 1/2 hours non stop. I really enjoy the game and the evening. Downside is I’ve been feeling mood crashes not long after the night has finished.

for years I’ve known I’m noise sensitive. Ring tone of the old house phones plus certain mobile phones I can’t tolerate. Also can’t tolerate loud noises. I’ve never thought anything of it until the mood crashes.

Found this today

Last week at my last psychologist appointment the mood crashes were one of the goals I said I want to start working on. I’m going to print this info and take it with me next week to my next appointment.

I put a query out to the community on the forums about ear plugs that will block out some of the noise whilst still allowing me to hear. Depending on cost of electrician, plus due date of the bill (I haven’t received the bill as yet), I might be able to purchase a pair of loop earplugs on my next pension day. The earplugs come with different sized ear tips plus a carry case.
Good recommendations from the forums. I’m also getting to point I need to try something. I get home on Thursday evenings feeling very low and miserable, next day or 2 have zero interest in doing anything. I don’t want to stop going out and playing the game

how are things with you?

hoping you have enjoyed today’s cooler weather

has the vet been able to given you information or updates on your cat, diagnosis etc?