Family rejection and the festive season

Morning @Healandlove , @AlwaysMyself

Hope you have an OK day today , thinking of you lots ❤️

We had a storm go past last night , Lightening, thunder and rain

And no power

😁 cooked dinner on the gas stove

This morning Sitting having a coffee at 6am , no rain yet , listening to the birds outside, think it will be another warm day

Thank you @Shaz51 my sister.

Sadly I think my older sister has her own mental health challenges but she just rejects me as well. One of my most painful memories is hugging her as a 5 year old and her pushing me away. She was 8 at the time. Other things as well but I remember feeling the sadness and the rejection very strongly on that day and just stayed with me. You are very patient to deal with your SIL on behalf of your husband. You are so kind Shazzy. 🫂

Feeling a bit better today Shazzy.

Thank you for checking on me.

I'm going back to work on Monday. The break has been too short.

And dealing with all these emotions has been tough.

You are in the sunshine coast? Is this weather usual for this time of year?

Did your power come back? 😘

No, in the Cairns region in far north Queensland @Healandlove

This is usually our wet season, I think we had 5 meters of rain last wet season

Rain is OK but not when it is soo much and if a cyclone is thrown in there too

Yes we got the power back last night and we had a smaller storm this afternoon too

Any plans for the weekend ? @Healandlove

@AlwaysMyself

Ooph, power outages are annoying eh @Shaz51 @Healandlove . Glad it came back on and safe during the storms.

@Healandlove you are not the mistake. It sounds like your sister has a LOT of strong negative emotion insider her and likely poor mental health too. That is not your fault. I'm sorry she takes it out on you and your husband (and likely other people too?). You don't deserve that.

I hear you with how powerful and hurtful those childhood experiences can be. Being pushed away when you wanted/needed a hug from your big sister would be so hurtful and feeling rejected it very understandable.

My sister was quite callous at times too. The biggest impactful time i recall was when i was a teenager and i was in my room alone crying silently (which wasnt uncommon due to my depression), and she came into my room (i forget why) and told me i should "just k!ll myself already" since i wanted do. I was around 14 or 15 i think? So she would have been 15 or 16 at the time. Its stuck with me still to today when i ever think about talking to her about my MH, and reminds me not to trust her as a support.

I wish neither of us had those hurtful experiences, including you @Shaz51 and your SIL. *hugs*

Oh that's right. We love Cairns! Been there twice.

Good your power is back. I can't live without it!

Sunday we have family friends coming over. We haven't seen them for ages so that will be nice.

As way of a distraction I downloaded this app called Palladin. It us about history. Very quick learnings.

Do you have plans my sister?

Morning ❤️ @Healandlove , @AlwaysMyself

Yes having distractions are good , I play "words with friends " through different parts of the day

Also being here on the forum

No plans for the weekend here

I know @AlwaysMyself will be going back home to furbaby xx

@TunedIn was asking how you were going xx

@AlwaysMyself thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I am so sorry you had to hear that from your sister. She also sounds like she has a lot of anger and lack of empathy. Whenever I had an argument with my sister growing up I would break down in tears and she would tell me .."oh here we go, you are going to start crying now as always " She really had no compassion for me. I will never understand why she was so unkind in those moments.

I hope you have found friends that can give you that support. I have one but I also don't want to overload her.

My parents understand the situation. They can't take sides but my Mum blames herself partly for not having taught us to be closer. There's truth to that. My parents could have done more to teach us about conflict resolution. I played alone a lot. My sister played with me sometimes but it always felt like I was entertainment for her. Like she always cheated when we played card games. And then she would laugh at me for losing. She resents me because she thinks life has been easier for me...I really don’t know. And still I love her because she is my sister and my empathy takes over. But I know she has walls up all the time with me and she doesn't want me nearby.

So what do people do with love that is not wanted, needed...do you just stop loving or caring? It's so hard...

Anyway, I hope you have a good day.

Sending you hugs too and to my Shazzy @Shaz51 🫂

Oh i totally understand those feelings and thoughts @Healandlove . Your sister sounds to have been quite mean in your childhood, and still as an adult very jealous. I don't think i would choose a person like her as a friend; I'm always more drawn towards softer, caring and reflective people like yourself and @Shaz51 for example. 😊 . I think people who are known to be gentle, when they do stand up strong, i see them often get more respect and notice from the people around them because of how reasonable they are and how rarely they make a big fuss - shows it is a really important thing.

I have a few good friends i talk to, as well as on this forum, and also my mother and a counsellor.

My sister felt i got "all the attention" as a teen. But the reality is that my sister didn't want to spend time with my mum and she did not ever talk about how she felt (also very much "walls up"!), so of course my mum would then spend more time with the child who *wanted* to spend time with her and chat. But my mum has always been careful to give equally and give support to both of us in whatever way we each need it individually. I am very lucky to have the mum that i have.

I think my sister and I were still able to bond as teenagers a little bit over our shared challenges with our dad. 😅

@Shaz51 i'm ok. Not fantastic, but just had an iced choc (not coffee! 😵 because their iced choc had vegan choc gelato so i had to try it) and waiting for a friend who plans to meet me here... but not sure what time she will arrive as she has to catch the bus... 30-60min i suspect until she arrives.

hello @Healandlove , @AlwaysMyself

how was your Sunday was yesterday xx

and how is today going for you