The me no one knows - SI warning

@AuntGlow Hello lovely how are you?

I will try to reach out to them as you’ve had a good experience. I’m at rock bottom and I am in a big struggle at the moment.

My vascular surgeon had bad news. My right leg is worse and has no pulse at foot. He is going to wait until I can’t walk or have pain in leg on resting because he said the risks of bypass outweigh waiting for now. He said any cut I should go to emergency as it can develop into an amputation required with critical limb Ischemia .. I’ve already had a part foot amputation in left leg plus a bypass surgery.

Both legs still have clots that obstruct blood flow. The left leg bypass is holding up and he was happy with how my amputation is healing. It’s an awful disease. No cure. He was concerned with dental work required as I’ll have to stop certain meds that stop stroke and heart attack.

I don’t know what else to do to get through this. It’s awful.

My my adult daughter and my dog keeps me showing up each day. But it’s not easy. And my adult daughter can’t be here with me a lot. I also have a friend who reaches out online we live in different states.

I’m having such a hard day. I can’t breath from panic, I’m shaking and numb and feel so hopeless 😞 I’m safe but not good.

@Flutterbug9 @AlwaysMyself @tyme @MissGremlin @Captain24 @ENKELI

@Cuddlebear big hugs sweetheart. I'm sorry things are so hard right now but we are always here for you.

I'm glad you have your daughter and your beautiful dog. It's good that you have an online friend to talk to, i have a couple of those and they are very special to me. Even being in different states you never know what the future holds ☺️.

Love you my sweet friend ❤️.

@MissGremlin Hello lovely how are you? Thank you so much. You are such a good friend here on the forums and I appreciate you responding too.

Im really glad you have a couple of good online friends too. That is a big help.

sending love and hugs right back.

@Cuddlebear things have been really tough for me, taking each moment as it comes.

Hello @Cuddlebear,

I can't fathom how incredibly painful and scary this must be for you... I am so sorry you are going through this, there are no words. I can hear how much this is impacting you, and understandably so. Your body and mind must be going through so much... what can I do to be there for you right now?

I am so very glad you have your daughter and dog there to keep you going. When will you see your daughter next? And have you been able to connect with your friend today at all?

Your feelings make perfect sense, I would feel the exact same. I am curious to know if the GP shared any hopeful messages with you? I am wondering if we can connect to those right now? 💛

@MissGremlin I’m so sorry that things are hard for you too. You’ve been unwell and I know it’s really hard when it goes on for a while too. I’m here to talk anytime you need.

Thank you for the hugs lovely. Many more back to you.

@AuntGlow It is so painful and scary. The disease has no cure it impacts my life every single day. It’s called peripheral artery disease.

I won’t see my daughter for a while at least 3 weeks due to rhings happening in her life. She lost the person that was supporting her to support me and she’s devastated. She’s young. She an adult but young. It’s too much for her which I totally understand.

No neither the GP or vascular surgeon gave any positive news I’m afraid. I’ve been exited from mental health service as they have limited time with people and everything is just falling apart at the wrong time.

Honestly what helps is knowing I have people who care and can empathise and listen. I wish I could afford proper mental health support but I can’t.

It’s so hard. So very hard.

@Cuddlebear thankyou sweetheart ❤️.

That’s not good news @Cuddlebear. I’m glad you have your daughter and dog.

Im thinking of you

That would be so incredibly challenging @Cuddlebear... I asked some of my colleagues to share some supports with me, so that I could send them to you:

The Vasculitis Foundation (VF😞 https://vasculitisfoundation.org/living-well/find-support/

‘The Vasculitis Foundation (VF) offers virtual support group meetings for people with vasculitis and their families. VF virtual support meetings are led by a facilitator and a VF staff member. Registration is required, and we ask that you only attend one support group meeting each week as spots are limited.’

Limbs 4 Life https://www.limbs4life.org.au/peer-support

‘Peer Support' - speaking to another amputee can help you to understand the pathways ahead of you. Peer Support is a foundational support which links individuals (and their families) pre or post amputation with trained amputees who have experience living with, and adapting to limb loss. Our program is designed to match you with someone of a similar age, level of amputation and gender.’

Let me know if you look into these at all. 🫶

It sounds like your daughter supports where she can and I can hear she really cares about you. But I know how much clinical support you're needing right now too and it would be so hard to manage all of this on your own.

Can you remind me if NDIS is an option at all? I just want to make sure I am not missing anything. 💛