@Flutterbug9 Ok, finally on forum today.
Shakespeare. My mum really enjoyed it - which is good.
I found it hard to focus and exhausting trying to process what was being said and “translate” what the flowery-speech (as opposed to just the old-english words like “thee”, “thy”, “thou” which I am fine with) to understand it. And the energy of the theatrics was felt exhausting. So I went home a bit before half-way through. I was exhausted and irritated. I didn’t end up even eating dinner.
I do recall when I went last time I had no clue what was going on half-way through, and had to look up the play on the internet for a summary so that I could follow the second half!
Then yesterday I went to the local Show with my mum. Felt very overwhelmed emotionally and fatigued. Just walking around looking at the entry-displays was emotionally overwhelming (and I wasn’t even particularly interested in them! But anything that I thought was “well done” it was hard to hold back tears! I was definitely overwhelmed by the noise and heat and having to be around another person).
And walking around my knees and back got so painful - even after we rested before lunch and during lunch. And then again for the wood-chopping before going home. I was in a lot of pain (but better today; back to niggling only when at rest).
But I also noticed how much my mind was racing (exhausting!) and how “keyed up” my system felt in response to the noisy active environment (exhausting!). 😵😴.
And of course feeling so disconnected to how consumerist and hype the whole thing was (except the animals, displays, and woodchop - you know, the traditional ag-show things!). I’m not against stalls - I like markets. I just feel so “out of place” because of the nature of their products, especially when they are mass-produced things (I have more appreciation for handmade, even if they are not “my type of things”).
Yeah… if I ever want to go to the show (or similar) again, I might need to borrow a mobility scooter and buy some noise-filtering earbuds. 😑. Kinda like the zoo too. and the fireworks.
The ironic thing? The day before I was looking at some example questions for considering/reflecting how things affect my daily life, and there was a question about “accessing activities/events in the same way other people can”. And I thought “oh no, I’m pretty good with that. I just get a bit tired is all — mild” (being one level up from “no negative impact at all”. …. I am reconsidering that answer now! 😂 😳. I often just have absolutely no motivation to go out to places - especially community events (guess why? lol) so I didn’t even consider that and think about why I have an emotional resistance to them! 😅
I can tell my system overwhelm is still very high overall, and being so busy this week (today was my only “day off” without appointments) isn’t helping. I got soo irritated and frustrated with fixing something today, and then I heard something else irritating that will impact me whilst away, and I nearly lost in. But I saw that it was the time that people I know meet for coffee, so I decided to pack what I was trying to fix and take it with me to coffee with them as a circuit-breaker because I could feel lots of urges and intrusive thoughts gearing up inside! The good thing — managed to fix what I was fixing. 🙂 One thing off my list.
I may not be on much this week due to being so busy. and I may not be on much for the next 1-2 weeks whilst away due to fatigue & social exhaustion — will wait and see day by day.
