The me no one knows - SI warning

@AlwaysMyself Yesterday was a lot better than the previous day. Pain no where near the degree it had been plus no urgent bolts to the toilet. Cereal for breakfast plus 2 small serves of mashed potato in the evening due to med requirements. I wasn’t feeling hungry hungry first thing in the morning and not for rest of the day.

my GP is a general GP. When I moved to where I am now the only reason I was able to become one of her patients was due to the lifestyle village that I’m in.

if I need to see a dr urgently I usually end up at the local medical centre where I can book appointment for that day. Last time I went there, Dr I saw gave me antibiotics plus ear drops for an ear infection. Not long after the antibiotics were finished I started getting ear pain again plus sinus pain. I didn’t try phoning my GP and drove there instead and I was seen in between booked appointments. My GP told me ear drops had resulted in secondary ear infection and sinus infection.

I had been logging into the forums almost everyday checking few specific threads, including when not tagged. No longer doing that for variety of reasons.

In hope of getting balance back into things plus time for me I’m now only logging in during certain time period, only though if I’m received email to say I’ve been tagged in a thread.

providing lots of wording and explanation can be autistic trait, for me can also be due to CPTSD. Oversharing. Taking 100 words where 10 might have been sufficient (ok, bit over exaggerated). Difficulty in reading emotions from written word. All things common.

Miscommunication/misunderstandings where I can’t get sorted out still quite often send me down the bottomless pit of doubting/blaming myself. “What did I do wrong?” Situations One area of my brain that rewiring hasn’t even come close to, could be hundreds of miles away

@AuntGlow Hello lovely how are you? I’m so glad you are back at Uni. That’s really good! What creative rhings have you been doing?

I have not connected with Blue Knot. I’ve looked at their website but they don’t seem to have supoorts that I would need? Do you know much about them?

Yes this taper is brutal and there’s medical problems too causing me a lot of distress on top.

All I’ve been able to do is get dressed.

@AlwaysMyself How are you? I have not been able to catch up on threads. What’s your week been like?

@Flutterbug9 How are you? What has been happening? I’ve been too sick to catch up on threads and so thought to tag you here.

Hi @Cuddlebear I’m physically not well which is compounding onto everything else.

Thursday last week I had regular appointment with GP would explained blood test showing positive for a specific “bug” (exact word my GP used) and gave me script to get filled.

Friday morning I started these meds. 3 different antibiotics all to be taken together morning and evening with food for 7 days. Meds are to treat a stomach virus that weakens stomach lining. Meds also treat and heal stomach ulcers.

some of the common unknown side effects that have affected me is stomach pain and cramps, headache, nausea, fever, diarrhoea and increased indigestion. Only thing I’ve managed to eat without any issues are my usual cereal for brekkie and small amount of mashed potato in the evening, hydralite and flat lemonade.

i had measles booster on Friday morning and haven’t left the house until croquet this morning.

currently waiting for my GP to get back to regarding referral so I can 5 appointments with an allied health provider either free or at a reduced price. Due to issues with my feet, I currently see a podiatrist at least 4 times a year which is approx 40min drive from me. Fuel, cost of parking plus consult fee, it gets expensive.

Few weeks ago I had person come to my place for free measure and quote for external blinds. (I’m waiting to fully enclose part of my alfresco area so I can open glass sliding doors without concerns of my cats possibly getting outside. Will also create a shaded area and reduce the amount of heat and glare I get in my lounge). Person only mentioned one option for motorising the blinds which is by using main power via power point.

electrician came on Monday and has explained due to building materials used with my place and there being no crawl space, to have one external power point installed it will be very expensive for me.

looking through brochure I was given by the person who did the measure and quote it mentions 2 options for motorised blinds, 2nd option is using a rechargeable battery that is estimated to only needing to be recharged approx once each 12mths. Currently waiting to receive updated quote showing price of rechargeable battery.

has been more stress and chasing up things than anything else recently.

is good you tagged me. I mentioned to @AlwaysMyself this morning unless I’m tagged in posts I’m no longer reading them. Also aiming at reducing amount of time I spend on the forums

how are things travelling for you?

did I read somewhere you have picked up some work?

if yes, are you ok to share with me what the job involves?

personal question - please only answer if you are comfortable to do so. No pressure either way.

with your sight and hearing, are they health issues you have always had or did they happen over time?

as a seeing eye dog, how many years will Wilbur work before he “retires”?

@Cuddlebear Lovely to hear from you. 😊. Getting dressed is a good step - well done! Sometimes something as simple as that is enough 😘 - and hopefully you can also have something to eat and perhaps a glass of water or something too. Basics for survival approach - honestly, getting dressed can be optional in my books unless it makes you feel worse to not get dressed 🤔.

I hope your research work is going well and giving you some positive distraction whilst doing it.

Honestly, I feel like life is just plodding along day by day unless I look at "progress" I have made in specific things. Most weeks look/feel the same - except for these small things that are progressing. Here is my updates (including this mornings efforts) - hot off the press lol !

My car is cleaned, and I am hoping to get the replacement part for my car keys in the post this week so I can get that ready for sale. I need to put the photos online and create an ad for the car, maybe that will be later this week or weekend.

Doing more coordination and research and such for my apartment block on long-delayed works; making sure things are progressed because the strata manager hasn't been. Thankfully there are less than 10 of us on the committee, so it's not too hard to get agreements. And if people don't respond, that's just taken as implied consent to go with the rest of the opinions 😉. Its just time-consuming and not in things I know about so I have to often sit down and spend a few hours when doing it - last week I think was 3 hours, and today I think I spent another 2 hours.

Saw MH GP again yesterday, and she has recommended an autism assessment would be a strong probability to result in a diagnosis, so I have emailed a psychologist she recommends. They also can be Functional Capacity Assessments, which I would need for NDIS anyway (and probably for Centrelink too).

Had the baseline assessments interview for the clinical research trial yesterday. They said nothing in it that would be a reason for exclusion for me. So now last eligibility check is the medical assessment with the research psychiatrist next week. I'm not aware of anything that would exclude me, so I expect it to go fine - but also don't like to "count my chickens before they hatch" so to speak.

Otherwise tomorrow and Friday are "as usual" appointments, but I also have the dogs staying with me Friday night (and picked up next morning instead), but also mum and I are going to a free performance in a local park of one of the shakespeare plays - taming of the shrew (I have never read or seen it). We went to one last year, and they did Henry V play, but they modernised/adapted the context to be performed like a sports soccer match (instead of a battle).

Couple times before I put the question to you about us not chatting as much, an idea you don’t like at those times @AlwaysMyself

This time I put the question to you and we are on the same page. You make me laugh in a good way

hoping tomorrow and the weekend are kind to you and you have pleasant time, whatever you have planned.

how are things progressing with selling the car?

any thoughts about possibly getting an autism assessment?

when do you next see your specialist GP?

I’d like to hear outcome, if you are ok to share

whats the format for your upcoming assessment eg telehealth, f2f etc?

any thoughts/ideas for what you would like to do when you see your support worker next week?

how do your dogs go with these hot days? Do they enjoy water/going swimming/getting hosed down? Do they prefer cooler weather?

You're welcome @Flutterbug9 always happy to chat about fantasy!! 😋

I'm hearing how impactful it is on your day-to-day. I'm glad the pain has not been too bad today - guess it's one of those things that would fluctuate a bit. Even if that is an expected experience, I imagine not being able to predict how much capacity you have on any given day can make it very difficult to plan ahead. Even something like getting new blinds may become a monumental task!

Sounds like taking a step back from forums is needed - so valid, and I hope that it is helpful for what you're needing at the moment. You're always welcome to ask myself and other staff to refrain from tagging you too, if you like. I commend you for having those personal boundaries 😊

All the best with the path ahead 💜

Lovely to see you floating about too @Cuddlebear - sorry to hear that the struggle is still ongoing with your meds tapering. I can only imagine the exhaustion, physical and mental, to make it through each day. You're such a trooper (though of course I wish so much that you didn't have to be).

Sending you both some 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

There are things both on and off the forums that are not sitting comfortable with me @Jynx Feel I’m in a no win situation” I enjoy being on the forums, recently feeling nothing I do is right. Feel there might have been some type of misunderstandings. I’ve tried reaching out and have been totally unsuccessful. Only thing left I could think of is making the decisions I’ve made. If I don’t get tagged in posts there is nothing I can do about it. Is decision of whoever types the post whether to tag me and share things with me

feeling alone and have been last few days. Feeling lonely I can cope with and have dealt with for years by now. Feeling alone is something all together different and it hurts

Brief update @Jynx @Cuddlebear @AlwaysMyself @Chasingsunsets @tyme @AuntGlow

My last day on these meds and I’m feeling much better. Still bit of discomfort near rib area, this could also be due to an unrelated issues.

Psychologist appointment today which is not far from location of firm that I’m waiting for updated quote for alfresco blinds from. Going to visit in person in hope of getting some answers.

@AlwaysMyself are you ok? Everything ok between you and me? Based on our chats few weeks ago as compared to now, feels like something isn’t right. I don’t know what though. Know we have both said about preferring to be talk things through asap if there is anything that’s not right, deal with it and get back on track. As I said, just a feeling. I’m concerned about you

@Chasingsunsets Im catching up with everyone whilst I’m on line this morning.

Has been I while since our last chat

how are you?

how are things going with you?

thinking of you 💐

Hey @Flutterbug9 , thank you for letting me know something felt odd/different to you and seeking clarification of why 😊. I am just trying to give you the space you asked for re: frequency of responses. I don't want to overwhelm your time or create pressure on you to respond more often, which is why I'm waiting a few days / a week before replying. 😊

Perhaps i misunderstood what you meant? I interpreted it as wanting to limit in-depth chats to only once a week.

Its OK if i have misinterpreted it -- please just let me know 😘🤭.

Nothing wrong on my end, and happy to post more full replies to you more often if that is what you would like! 😊