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Talking through trauma and PTSD

The me no one knows - SI warning

The me no one knows - SI warning

I’ve made this space to have somewhere safe to talk and share things.

to chat with every one who has shown concern about and for me.

I have spent almost all my life masking, from as far back as primary school (possibly younger).

almost no one knows the real me. Not sure if I even know the real me.

my past is filled with lots of darkness. People I’ve tried to speak with during my life either don’t believe me or don’t want to know

@AlwaysMyself @Bunniekins @Captain24 @Cuddlebear @rav3n @Jynx

hiding behind the mask pretending nothing is wrong. Putting on brave face whilst inside I’m a shattered pieces. Feeling lost and completely alone. No one wants anything to do with me. Relatives only contact when they want something. Going to bed every night hoping to never wake again

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In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning


@Flutterbug9 wrote:

They work 9 to 5, Mon to Fri @tyme

I’ll try to limit my posts to recovery focus only from now on


You mean the people at your residence? Are there other residents? @Flutterbug9

Oh @Flutterbug9 - I'm here for you. We all care.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

55+ lifestyle village that I live in has 250+ 2 bedroom units @tyme. Everyone owns their own home. Is like living in a suburb where everyone does there own thing

place I thought you were referring to is MH drop in centre.

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Hello @Flutterbug9, @Cuddlebear,

How are things feeling for you both this week? 💛

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Currently being impacted by some of the side effects of meds Im taking to treat virus in my stomach. Half way course of meds @AuntGlow. Last dose of the combination meds will be Thursday evening

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Ack, sorry to hear about the side-effects of the meds @Flutterbug9 ☹️. I hope they are temporary. If not i guess at lesst the end if the course of them is in sight - Thursday!

I wonder if there is anything that can offset the side-effects or that will minimise the impact it has? 🤔 😬

What does today hold for you?

Sorry i have forgotten! I do recall you mentioned something about an electrician coming and a tiring day and maybe going to or skipping Mexican Trains -- was that for today?

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@AuntGlow Hello lovely how are you? What have you been upto?

Im still tapering and feeling quite awful. It’s difficult because I’ve had no relief from symptoms. The complex PTSD is hard and depression with anxiety. Such a lonely journey doing this. Being shoved service to service.

@Flutterbug9 How are you? How are you feeling with the side effects of the meds? I really hope they settle for you. Do you have anything on?

@AlwaysMyself Hello lovely how are you? How was the car when you picked it up? It’s terribly hot here today. What are you upto? Anything in?

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

All the OTC meds I take to help with somethings did nothing. Other side effects I’ve got nothing to take in hope of getting relief.

never good going to bed hoping to sleep off side effects and being woken during the night due to them plus waking up with them

16hrs so far, no relief or even easing

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@Flutterbug9 ☹️ that sounds horrible. Im rrally sorry. And impacting sleep doesnt help either. I know i always find it harder to cope when im also tired on top of everything else.

@Cuddlebear im sorry that even with a consistent medication dosage for over a month now that the withdraw effects have not stabilised ☹️. Part of my wonders whether if able to stay in hospital when having the tooth surgeries (for observation in case of post-op complications) might also be some respite for you - having interpersonal contact with the nurses, having meals cooked for you, staff checking in on how you are.

I'm guessing you dont get any funding for respite care under your NDIS? (Assuming you would probably have already explored that option if you did).

Would it be possible to go to the APARC *but not adjust medication dosage*? Just for the environment of increased peer worker support?

My car is nice and clean.

I will take the dogs out this afternoon for vaccinations and then a cafe, so now they will only be allowed in my other car - not the clean one which I hope to sell.

I've kept my mind busy so far today. Mix of forums when resting physically and then doing little bits around the house - put away a few items, put up my dog-cam (which then fell down... and now i am waiting longer for the velcro strips to adhere before putting it up again), put away my clean dishes -- even cleaned the dishwasher filter!! 😮

Sat watching goldfish with my mum for awhile, debating over which fish was which 😅.

1hr until i get dogs kitted up to go out.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Am I reading things right @AlwaysMyself, you have 2 cars atm, one you are thinking of selling.

GP says I was given same meds early last yr due to testing positive at that stage. One thing I’m good at is my meds. Dates might not be the best. If I had taken 3 different types of antibiotic (total 4 tablets) twice a day within last few years I would remember. Currently debating to get list from pharmacy, even if only as backup and piece of mind.

nausea, pain, fever like symptoms, headache, stomach cramps and upsets, increased indigestion. Far from pleasant is an understatement. Having to eat at least twice a day due to the meds I’m not doing well with

Bring on the weekend.

@Cuddlebear

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Yes @Flutterbug9 , that is correct. I had 2 cars so my now-ex partner could use one after he go his license (the second one was a hand-me-down from my father, but is an "upgrade" from my main car which i will now sell since i dont need 2 cars and cant justify paying for them both).

Hmm that is frustrating when the docs records/beliefs and at odds with your own. As you say - pharmacy will have a record of what has been dispensed as an independent verification.

Eekk that is horrible symtoms 😞 very very sick.

Is that a common/known reaction to these antibiotics?

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