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Talking through trauma and PTSD

The me no one knows - SI warning

The me no one knows - SI warning

I’ve made this space to have somewhere safe to talk and share things.

to chat with every one who has shown concern about and for me.

I have spent almost all my life masking, from as far back as primary school (possibly younger).

almost no one knows the real me. Not sure if I even know the real me.

my past is filled with lots of darkness. People I’ve tried to speak with during my life either don’t believe me or don’t want to know

@AlwaysMyself @Bunniekins @Captain24 @Cuddlebear @rav3n @Jynx

hiding behind the mask pretending nothing is wrong. Putting on brave face whilst inside I’m a shattered pieces. Feeling lost and completely alone. No one wants anything to do with me. Relatives only contact when they want something. Going to bed every night hoping to never wake again

752 replies

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In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Looking at the picture of a turtle with elephants on its back with a disco on top of the elephants definitely appeals to my curiosity and imagination.p @Jynx

know, for me, I need to finish reading the series I’m 4/5 of the way through before starting a new series.

similar to what @AlwaysMyself has said about all the time and effort put into a reading guide is very much appreciated by me. I’m not into stories that jump al, over the place, from present time to times in the past plus into the future. I find tends to spoil things. I get confused trying to follow the story line where some type of chronological order doesn’t exist

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@Cuddlebear I have had had very negative experiences with dentists over the years, I can understand your fears and concerns.

.I 100% agree with what @AlwaysMyself @has said about having things in writing for tomorrow.

allows you to say exactly all the things that are important for the person to know plus to gain some level of understanding of your concerns.

not in same situation as yours, I have done the letter aspect before. Helped calm my anxiety plus gave me a sense of being involved. I found putting everything in writing was beneficial for me as I wasn’t trying to memorise all the things I wanted to say.

place I go now the staff are really good. I’m welcome and encouraged to ask or say anything I want to, that’s relevant. Person I see has gotten to know me and that providing me with information and explanations is really helpful for me.

hoping all goes well for you tomorrow and the entire experience is as pleasant as possible

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@AlwaysMyself @Jynx

I’ve been looking at that guide (thanks for the link @Jynx ).

quite a large series. After having cataract surgery about 15mths ago I ordered hardcopy books, about 1/3 in those recent photos.

think might investigate if all the Discoworld world books are available for kindle. More likely to read them that way each time I’m in hospital.

@AlwaysMyself I was reading through Q & A online section for store that specialises in assisting trans and NB people. They recommend people with certain medical conditions speak to gp prior to investigating a binder, 2 that caught my eyes are respiratory issues (eg asthma) and fibromyalgia.

im heading out soon for few hrs, i need some f2f company following this morning. Had scripted filled for meds which are to try to eliminate specific item that is main cause of stomach cancer. Gp records show I had same meds 9mths ago.

hoping your distress will have at least eased by time you get home. I won’t be back on tonight, going to be late night then straight to bed.

I’ve got another medical appointment tomorrow morning, measles booster injection plus discuss with Gp another area of blood tests which I forgot to ask for more info on this morning. Unsure if I should be referred back to my haematologist or not. Hoping not as will result in few days in hospital whilst series of different tests are done

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Heya @Flutterbug9 ,

Looking forward to connecting with you. Thinking of you.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Hi @tyme

Not long home.

saw notification of your post

feeling very tired, going to bed

have I done or said something wrong again?

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

No No! I'm sorry my post made you think you did or said something wrong. @Flutterbug9

I just wanted to say hello 🙂

Rest up.

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@Captain24

“twisted your words”

are you ok to tell me what makes you feel that has happened?

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

I no longer wish to discuss it.

I have more important things in my life going on. I’ve been crying all day and don’t want anything else to deal with.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@Flutterbug9 @AlwaysMyself I struggle with convoluted timelines too, I find it difficult to hold the info in my brain! Hence why I ended up starting with the very first book in the very first series, even though the fanbase sorta says that it's not the best one (apparently he hadn't fully found his 'voice' yet - but I still really enjoy his writing style!). Hope they provide you with some enjoyment, whimsy, and adventure! Teehee 😋

Oooh also love that you're binder shopping @Flutterbug9!! I'm thinking of getting one that's also swimwear - I hate that there's so few options for swimwear that will fit my body but won't also be too feminine. I've been in boardies and a rashie over the top of a (very old and losing elasticity) bikini for a while now... Hope you find something suitable!!

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Taking one day at a time @Jynx and trying not to think about pain I’ve got near base of rib cage. Regular gp appt yesterday during which I was given script for meds combination pack. Blood tests showing I’ve got virus in my stomach that’s main cause of stomach cancer and ulcers.
appt this morning at GP practice for measles booster due to current outbreak in various states in Australia. GP said blood tests approx 9 mths ago showed I had this virus. Unable to verify if I was given the required meds at that stage. Hoping the pain stops by this time next week.

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