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Talking through trauma and PTSD

The me no one knows - SI warning

The me no one knows - SI warning

I’ve made this space to have somewhere safe to talk and share things.

to chat with every one who has shown concern about and for me.

I have spent almost all my life masking, from as far back as primary school (possibly younger).

almost no one knows the real me. Not sure if I even know the real me.

my past is filled with lots of darkness. People I’ve tried to speak with during my life either don’t believe me or don’t want to know

@AlwaysMyself @Bunniekins @Captain24 @Cuddlebear @rav3n @Jynx

hiding behind the mask pretending nothing is wrong. Putting on brave face whilst inside I’m a shattered pieces. Feeling lost and completely alone. No one wants anything to do with me. Relatives only contact when they want something. Going to bed every night hoping to never wake again

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In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@Flutterbug9 ,

LOL. Oh!!! That's so so so cool that you get free movies! I thought you went to those big cinemas 🙂 Sounds awesome anyway!

The Firecracker? Because she's wild, untamed, has no filter and can be a real explosive kid! She is so different from any of the other kids. So she's our little firecracker... maybe starting school will tame her?

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Little people can be so funny.

apparently when as 4 1/2 yo I got to the door of preps I told my mum I was fine and she could go home. Remember mum saying she was expecting tears from me and found herself walking home in tears

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning


@Flutterbug9 wrote:


😂🤣

No saltines for me!

"sometimes text too often" -- I may have been told I was a chatterbox in primary school.... 😉

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Would love to learn what you learn from you about the trains setup & even wiring etc as you learn also @Flutterbug9 😍

Your old username, I had at very first (before I got to know you!) assumed you may have been a tradie 😉. I think that is ironic now with the train wiring comments lol. I don't understand wiring either 😬 but I have an uncle who is pretty good with most mechanical or non-computer electricals (e.g. fans, heaters).

Glad that getting out of the house was a good thing, even if the movie wasn't your type. Is the cinema close enough to walk to/from?

Oh, I just read its within your village - how good! I often think I would love to live in a community-village type setup that has facilities for shared usage of the community (esp if there was both open-to-everyone and bookable-for-private-event abilities!)

And not paying for the movies is soo good because it doesn't matter as much if its not too enjoyable! no money spend niiiccceee!!

@tyme I like people with personalities. 😊 I bet she is funny to watch and hear stories of!

My friends who are primary school teachers - when I see them I always ask for the best stories haha.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Not a tradie and never went to trade school @AlwaysMyself I’m same as my father was, self taught handy person skills.

Education included high school, accounting/business certificate at TAFE. Work was always within the broad field of customer service clerical. 35+ yrs with Aust Federal Government. Not providing any more details about my work history than that and not talking about it again!! (Same as I said on your thread yesterday)

general, generic AI info about type of village I live in which are becoming more and more popular across Australia, especially along the entire east coast of Australia

Similar to summarised in the AU overview, I own my place outright. Only ongoing expenses I have is link with land lease arrangements, electricity and water. Everyone living here has free access to all facilities with ability to request private use of specific areas

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Hi @AuntGlow

Bits and pieces of some recent chats have come to my mind this morning.

having a read through this post by me might give some context.

im big chested. To get the best, appropriate items for support and to help with preferred appearance will involve specialised store which will come with large price tag. One step at a time.


I have paid deposit to have 2 motorised external alfresco blinds manufactured and installed. I have triple glass sliding doors which open onto my alfresco, area gets lot of sun and rain. Approx cost for them is mid 4 figures. One additional step to be organised and paid for to ensure area is safe for my cats to have access to the alfresco, when I decide.

Last week of May I will be in hospital for medical pain relief infusion. small out of pocket cost with the pain management clinic plus cattery costs will set me back approximately $1,000.

remember my MIL saying “ can’t put cost on one’s health” and “health comes first”

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@Flutterbug9 I love the idea of that type of accommodation setup. Will be interesting to see if they become more popular too 😊. But yes, not for everyone and can be a lot harder to sell if buyers don't want the facilities.

@Flutterbug9 Exciting that you are going ahead with the alfresco blinds 😍😁. Do you have a rough date (month) for installation?? I bet the cats are going to LOVE having the space to sunbake. And hopefully it will be a once-off expense that will last you a long time 😍; a good investment in your home.

I have found it hard in the past to prioritise paying for healthcare, especially on-going healthcare costs. But I have made it a priority the past year to do so also. I am glad you are also. 😊. I hope the pain relief effectiveness between now and then (from the existing treatment dose) doesn't decline too much. 😓

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

With the different steps and businesses required, atim hoping alfresco area will be 100% cat safe by mid year @AlwaysMyself

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

*insert support button press* 😻 You're going to have 2 happy kitties! 😁 Mid year will be very nice, as it will protect from some of the cold and wet I hope - especially if it holds in some of the warmth from the house during the cold days.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Hi @Cuddlebear

dropping by to say Hi and to let you know I’m thinking about you.

I spent some time watching part of couple croquet games this morning prior to getting my hair cut.

the weight difference is huge.

feels so much better.

hairdresser really pleased how well the cut turned out.

ive got naturally wavy hair, hairdresser has used to natural waves as much as possible.

on Thursday im catching up with a friend who I haven’t seen for quite a few months. I’ve decided not to share any info about my haircut with them between now and Thursday when we go out to nearby cafe

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