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Talking through trauma and PTSD

The me no one knows - SI warning

The me no one knows - SI warning

I’ve made this space to have somewhere safe to talk and share things.

to chat with every one who has shown concern about and for me.

I have spent almost all my life masking, from as far back as primary school (possibly younger).

almost no one knows the real me. Not sure if I even know the real me.

my past is filled with lots of darkness. People I’ve tried to speak with during my life either don’t believe me or don’t want to know

@AlwaysMyself @Bunniekins @Captain24 @Cuddlebear @rav3n @Jynx

hiding behind the mask pretending nothing is wrong. Putting on brave face whilst inside I’m a shattered pieces. Feeling lost and completely alone. No one wants anything to do with me. Relatives only contact when they want something. Going to bed every night hoping to never wake again

752 replies

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In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Do you need a rest after being out @Flutterbug9 ? Sounds like a productive day out.

Is your pain really bad when you are walking?

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@AlwaysMyself I left after end of form 5 and went to TAFE following year.

teacher who gave the recommendation was well respected by students on all levels at school, both prior to me starting high school, whilst I was there and after I left. One wing of the school is now named after him.

he had been my teacher in variety of different subjects over a few years. He took the time to get to know his students. Toward end of form 5 he asked how I felt I was going in certain subjects, shared his thoughts plus why he felt I would be better off at TAFE.

I wanted to be a vet but was failing chemistry. I did 2 types of maths classes and had high marks. Even at end of form 5, my marks in maths were better than others.

I followed his advise and commenced a one yr accounting certificate at TAFE, never finished it though due to the amputation surgery and recovery time

favourite subjects

- maths

- Australians at war (an elective in form 5)

- some parts of needlecraft/sewing

- some parts of drafting

- parts of typing due to teacher mentioned above

( random times there was piece of paper laying upside down in each typewriter than contained instructions that, if followed correctly, produced a picture)

thoroughly disliked cooking. 😂

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

What's 'drafting'? @Flutterbug9

Also, what does Form 5 mean? Approx what age is that? At first I thought it was Year 5, but after reading your post, I'm guessing you would be about 15-16 years old?

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Walking short distance back to my car my back started to get sore. Was thankful I had found a parking spot with only short walk.

ive learnt to pace myself etc. atm resting against pillow against back of the couch. I usually have a rest after a couple of hours of doing anything. Recover much quicker pain wise now than did prior to the infusion

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Hugs @Flutterbug9 . Hope the pain eases for you for longer. Are these regular treatments? Or is it supposed to be a once off?

I remember when I had a swollen toe, the dr tried a cortizone injection to reduce the inflamation. It didn't help at all. I couldn't walk.

I really wish I could take your pain away.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

I forget at times, difference in level titles for school.

form 5 = year 11 @tyme

I turn 16 about half way through that school year.

drafting = architectural drawing, drawing things in perspective. Was a traditional boys only subject, small number of us girls finally got allowed to do the class

woodwork, metal work were also deemed boys only subjects whereas cooking and anytype of sewing was girls only. Mid 1970’s. Sooo different than now

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Cortizone can be hit or miss. I’ve had good and not good experiences with it over the years.

my type of infusion plus nerve block are ongoing, depending on what works best for each person.

since the infusion my pain level has reduced more than minimum expected. Pain Dr very happy. I’m already booked in for next infusion which will mean entire last week of May in hospital. Apart from the out of pocket expense, I’m actually looking forward to it.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Oh, drafting is architectual drawing. My sister did that as a subject when she was at school too. The 4mm lines to write in were annoying!

Believe it or not, I loved cooking and food technology. I prefer the theory over practical though. And I HATED sewing with a passion. I just asked my mum to do it for me.

And your typewriting sounds interesting with that picture thing.

I loved maths too. I also liked english, but really struggled with sciences... and then.. I later became a science teacher - howz that???

Oh, I thought this infusion didn't work. I guess it's worked somewhat? Sounds so costly though. @Flutterbug9

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@tyme @AlwaysMyself @Cuddlebear @Jynx

Photos from model train exhibition that I managed to take

(note to self, make sure photo and/or camera fully charged in future 😝)

In the last photo you will see a green engine at bottom (size most people think of) and red engine (might be harder to see) toward the top which is the size I will have and will, eventually, use with a layout

Snippet from few layouts

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Do you build them yourself also @Flutterbug9 ?? They're pretty cool!

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