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Talking through trauma and PTSD

The me no one knows - SI warning

The me no one knows - SI warning

I’ve made this space to have somewhere safe to talk and share things.

to chat with every one who has shown concern about and for me.

I have spent almost all my life masking, from as far back as primary school (possibly younger).

almost no one knows the real me. Not sure if I even know the real me.

my past is filled with lots of darkness. People I’ve tried to speak with during my life either don’t believe me or don’t want to know

@AlwaysMyself @Bunniekins @Captain24 @Cuddlebear @rav3n @Jynx

hiding behind the mask pretending nothing is wrong. Putting on brave face whilst inside I’m a shattered pieces. Feeling lost and completely alone. No one wants anything to do with me. Relatives only contact when they want something. Going to bed every night hoping to never wake again

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In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Nerve block gave relief at level equal to minimum level so deemed by pain clinic as successful. I was still getting lot of pain, using walking stick, wasn’t standing up straight and limited in what I could do.

took couple weeks to feel full benefit of infusion. Hospital discharge day I was already stand up straight. I notice the difference when I’ve done too much or are very tired.

Within last few weeks I’ve dismantled a bookcase and got rid of it at local recycle centre. Approx 2hr one way drive to Bunnings in another town to collect couple items I wanted (closest Bunnings that had them in stock) and am in process of redoing bedroom that has all my LEGO on display including moved 3 drawer metal filing cabinet down the passage and into the garage. Have moved, sorted and tidied up everything in my garage which means I can now see up to half of the garage floor.

driving all that way and back wasn’t pain free though. Have put 4hr one way drive to ancestral town on hold. Maybe next year.

main cost with the infusion is having someone take care of my cats. Works out cheaper and less stress for them to be in a local cattery

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Build what myself @tyme ?
im confused

In response to: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@Flutterbug9 , I mean, do you build model trains yourself?

I know a kid whose parent bought him this amazing plane model. It was so fiddly and intricite down to painting a 1mm line on the aircraft.

So I was thinking whether you build model trains too!

I really hope you get the relief you had been hoping for with these infusions. Pain and mental health is not a nice combo, let alone chronic pain.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

And, how many cats do you have @Flutterbug9 ?

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@AlwaysMyself How are things going with you this afternoon?

your dogs still with your ex?

started AUSLAN course or not quite yet?

Mid 20’s here today.

predictions for tomorrow 30, 43 predicted for Tuesday mid 20’s for 2 days with 30 predicted for Friday next week

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

I’ve got 2 cats @tyme both going to be 6yo in couple mths time.

one of the things I want to do is to have a working model train layout in my garage. Size of locomotives and carriages I own are approx 3cm high. Known as n scale

very, very expensive hobby

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Quiet day for you today @tyme

Haven’t had chat like this with you in ages 🙂

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

I never work this shift. This is my first time @Flutterbug9 Maybe that's why? 🙂

Glad to chat though!

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

@Flutterbug9 i would be there building mini scenery alongside you in a heartbeat!! 😍 so cute!!! I love craft mini things, but dont have a use for them or find motivation to without someone to do it with. Plus it often sets off pain in my writsts and fingers if using polymer clay to shape.

I sorted a box of computer cables in my study room and hung up my wet laundry this morning. Also swept up a small patch of rug with the electrostatic broom to get dog hair. Only a very small portion of the rug, but better than nothing since my cleaner hasnt been for nearly 3 weeks. She normally does it weekly.

Just now come with my mum to pick up my grandma and take her to visit her friend at the hospital. So ive trotted along too so that it is easier for mum to drop grandma (i can wait with her) whilst she goes to park and later pick up the car from the carpark. Theyve gone off now to tue friend and im sitting at some chair and table and going to do my painting for a while.

I realise that this area - including the adjacent cafe - is open 24/7, which means i could always come here if i needed to get out of home. Its not "monitored" or private, but its a hospital so i reckon its ok to sit and cry 😅 and people wouldnt think that is too weird. Last resort option lol but interesting thought to keep in mind as it is a physically safe place with security guards etc.

In response to: Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

Re: The me no one knows - SI warning

How is your fur baby going?

how old by now? @tyme

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